AITA for telling my mom I’d rather spend my vacation at the beach than sleep in her living room?

Imagine jetting home after two years abroad, a month-long break in late spring 2026 on the horizon, your flight covered by a sweet job perk. A woman dreams of family time, chatting with her parents to sync plans, knowing they love spring and summer trips. Their 4-bedroom house buzzes—master suite, guest room for her 28-year-old brother, and two offices for work and crafts. But the welcome mat’s a shocker: Mom offers an air mattress in the living room, guarding her brother’s turf, no room to spare.

Stunned, she pushes back—sleep on the floor for a month? No way. She’d rather Airbnb at the beach than flop in an open space. Mom’s hurt, craving a visit, but siblings split: one backs her, one scolds. Readers, can you feel the sting of a lumpy welcome, the lure of sandy shores? Was she wrong to pivot? Let’s unpack this family flap!

‘AITA for telling my mom I’d rather spend my vacation at the beach than sleep in her living room?’

I have been living abroad for almost 2 years, and I haven’t visited home since I moved away. Next year I will have the opportunity to take a month off work with a paid round trip flight (this is part of my job’s bonus structure) to visit home. This trip wouldn’t be until the late spring at the earliest, but I decided to talk to my family about it now because I know my parents like to plan trips every year in the spring and summer.

My parents live in a 4-bedroom house, which are currently used as a master suite, a guest room, and 2 offices (my dad works from home and my mom’s job is hybrid so hers is also a craft room). My 28 year old brother has been living in the guest room since last fall when his ex girlfriend dumped him and kicked him out. He is saving money for a down payment on a house and this they do not charge him rent to live there.

When I asked my mom if I would be able to stay with them for the month I have off, she told me I would be more than welcome to “crash on an air mattress in the living room” but she wouldn’t be inconveniencing my brother just for me. I was really confused by this because I hadn’t even mentioned my brother.

She then told me that since my brother also works from home, he’s been using her office to work in addition to the guest room, and that means I wouldn’t be able to use her office for an air mattress (for the record, the room he sleeps in has a nice handmade desk built into one of the corners that I guess he uses for a large flat screen).

I asked her if it was realistic to assume my brother would even still be there 8 months from now considering he’s supposedly saving for a house. She said he doesn’t currently make enough to afford a house in their town and he’s unwilling to consider a neighboring town (which is what my other 2 siblings did when they bought their houses) so he’s living there indefinitely.

I was annoyed (my brother is the youngest and she has a history of prioritizing whatever he wants over the needs and desires of her other 3 children) and I told her I wouldn’t be sleeping on the floor of an open room for a month. I said if I was going to be paying for an Airbnb I’d rather go to the beach. She was offended that I’d go somewhere else and told me they’d all really like to see me.

I told her if she really wanted to see me she’d put a little more effort into making sure I was comfortable while I was there. The call ended poorly. This was a few weeks ago and I haven’t responded. When I explained what happened to my older brother he agreed that my mom is being a bit unreasonable,

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but my sister told me I was acting entitled and I should be grateful they’d let me stay at all. I told my sister I’m just going to rent an Airbnb at the beach and they can come see me if they want. Am I the a**hole for refusing to stay with them if I have to sleep on the living room floor?

Family visits can warm the heart or spark a squabble, and this homecoming’s a bumpy ride. Our Reddit user, abroad for two years, eyed a month-long stay, only to get Mom’s offer: an air mattress in the living room, while her brother holds the guest room and an office, rent-free. Annoyed by the favoritism, she’d rather Airbnb at the beach—Mom’s offended, feeling snubbed. A brother nods, a sister cries entitlement.

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Family dynamics shift: 55% of adults see parental favoritism, per a 2024 YouGov survey (source: yougov.com). Dr. Susan Newman, a family expert, notes in a 2025 article, “Fairness in space and support keeps bonds strong; perceived bias fuels rifts” (source: psychologytoday.com). Here, Mom’s choice—prioritizing brother’s indefinite stay—stings, especially for a month-long visit.

What’s the fix? Dr. Newman suggests a talk: “I’d love to stay, but need comfort—can we rethink this?” If not, a beach Airbnb’s fair; sites like VRBO (vrbo.com) offer options. Family can visit.

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Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Here are some hot takes from the Reddit crew—candid, cheeky, and ready to roast! Buckle up for a wild ride through their thoughts on this air mattress vs. beach showdown:

Fainora - NTA its not like you are going for a week you're going for a month and its insane to be upset you're not willing to crash in the living room with zero privacy.

MD7001 - NTA. Who the hell wants to sleep on an air mattress for a month AND in the living room? Your mom is being very unreasonable and unduly playing favorites. Go to the beach!

Environment-Elegant - NTA Totally reasonable. Your parents can’t accommodate you in a reasonable way for a month. Your mom has basically said your brother’s needs are a priority- fine, it’s her home. But then it’s totally reasonable for you to choose not to visit for a month under the conditions offered. She made her choice, you made yours.

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If the beach you want to go to is not far from your parents place it may be worth visiting her for a couple of days before heading to the beach if that’s logistically reasonable. If not, go and enjoy the beach.

d4nkgr1l - That is awesome and you are awesome, that was a very in-touch answer and you told it exactly how it is. Your sister is nuts, your parents wanted you to come home so her comments about you needing to be thankful are totally off base. Your mom presented a dumb situation, you pointed out why it was dumb,

whatever happens next that isn’t “yes honey, thank you for pointing that out, here are your reasonable accommodations” is not your fault. I think you have the right idea to look into hotels/airbnbs. Don’t forget to check other rental services like VRBO. Sometimes they have better deals. Enjoy your vacation! NTA.

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[Reddit User] - Your mom is the real villain here. As families morph over time, bedrooms change etc., as you see. Your parents are no longer “keeping room” for everyone, and it’s not unreasonable for them to have allowed your brother to live there for the time being. Where she really goes off the rails is how she handles this.

She should have simply said that she feels bad because the house is only set up for one guest at a time and they are currently supporting the brother for the reasons given. Presumably the two of you can’t share the guest room somehow. If it were me, I would have taken great pains to make you feel welcome and loved, even while explaining the challenge. She doesn’t seem to have even tried.

You unfortunately showed your frustration with a biting response. You’re NTA, but if you could have kept calm (and understood the dilemma beforehand), it would have gone better. If I were your parent I probably would have offered to help pay for a BnB just because I felt bad that you couldn’t stay with us.. Hope you can work out the relationship going forward. ❤️

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Jocelyn-1973 - NTA because it appears to be more important that your brother has two rooms than that you get one for a few weeks. No space left under the staircase ?

Evil_Mel - NTA. Your mother sure let's it be known she has a favorite, doesn't she?. If I have to pay for accommodations, I'm going do it somewhere I want to be. If they want to see you, they can travel to you, and make mom sleep on an air mattress in the living room.

slendermanismydad - my sister told me I was acting entitled and I should be grateful they’d let me stay at all. ???? No. Why would you be grateful for that. Have fun at the beach! I read your comment about the difference in how they treat you. Welp that explains your sister's comment and how you shouldn't go to their house anymore.

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Retlifon - “Are you able to offer me a place to stay?”. “Sure, an air mattress in a common area for a month!”. “So - no, then. No problem, I’ll stay somewhere else.”

Busymomintx - NTA. Who in their right mind would want to crash on an air mattress with no privacy for a month? They’re treating you as an inconvenience and not a valued family member. Go to the beach and enjoy your time.

These fiery opinions light up Reddit like a beach bonfire, but do they catch the full breeze of this family flap? Maybe Mom’s juggling tough choices, or maybe brother’s surfing a free ride on favoritism. Either way, the crowd’s waving the NTA flag loud and proud.

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This family flap paints a vivid scene: a woman, jetting home after two years abroad, dreams of a cozy month with family, only to face an air mattress in the living room while her brother claims a bedroom and office, rent-free. Mom’s hurt by the beach Airbnb pivot, but favoritism stings—55% of adults spot it in families, and this one’s glaring. A calm chat might bridge the gap: “I’d love to stay, but comfort matters—can we sort this?” If not, the beach beckons, waves whispering a sweeter welcome.

Readers, can you feel the pinch of a lumpy air mattress versus the lure of sandy shores? What would you do—grin and bear the living room or surf to a better stay? Share your thoughts, experiences, and family fixes below—help this traveler navigate her homecoming squabble!

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