AITA for telling my mom I won’t ever forgive her if she breaks her promise and takes my half sister on a 13th birthday weekend trip if she doesn’t do my delayed 16th birth trip first?

In a cozy suburban home, where family photos line the walls but tension simmers beneath the surface, a 17-year-old girl stands at a crossroads. Her heart aches with the weight of unkept promises, each one a reminder of feeling like the odd one out in her blended family. Her mother, caught between nurturing her younger children and mending past oversights, faces a storm of resentment that threatens to unravel their bond. This isn’t just a tale of a missed birthday trip—it’s a raw, emotional clash over fairness, love, and the longing to be seen.

The girl’s story, shared on Reddit, strikes a chord with anyone who’s felt overlooked in their own family. As she confronts her mother’s apparent favoritism, readers are drawn into a narrative that’s as relatable as it is heart-wrenching. With vivid emotions and a plea for equality, this story sets the stage for a deeper look at family dynamics and the cost of broken promises.

‘AITA for telling my mom I won’t ever forgive her if she breaks her promise and takes my half sister on a 13th birthday weekend trip if she doesn’t do my delayed 16th birth trip first?’

I (17f) am my mom's oldest kid and there's been a lot of upheaval since she and my dad broke up when I was 1. She started dating her husband when I was 3 and she got pregnant fast, then they broke up, one of my half sister's was born while they were broken up, they had a brief period of getting back together and conceived one of my half brother's before breaking up again.

I was 8 by the time they got back together for real and I was 11 when they got married. After they got married things settled and my mom started doing this 1:1 things with each of my half siblings but she had excuses for not doing them with me. So for

She'll do 1:1 spa trips with my half sisters, she'll take the boys to an indoor sports place for the day. Sometimes she'll take them for an overnight stay in a hotel that has a huge pool and water slide. Those aren't for any special reason. My mom mostly takes me to run errands for 1:1 with me.

It's never fun and my mom gets frustrated when I don't know everything she wants. But my mom gets different stuff every week. When I was 15 I told my mom I felt like she favored my half siblings and I asked if she cared more about having a good relationship with them because she loved their dad and hated mine.

She told me it wasn't true and asked where I got the idea from. I told her she made a big deal out of birthdays and making them a priority and 1:1 time but she doesn't do the same for me. I told her the birthday thing started before I turned 13 but we didn't go away for a weekend.

I told her she never takes me to the hotel overnight so we can swim and use the water slide together.  My mom told me we'd do the trip for my 16th birthday and she promised she would stop making me feel less important.

But then she was really sick on my actual 16th birthday and we didn't get to go and then her husband's mom died and they had to spend a lot of money on the funeral so she told me we'd have to delay it but she promised me she would make sure my delayed 16th birthday trip was the next trip to happen and she would not do one with my half siblings until then.

And she had stuck to it but my half sister is turning 13 soon and mom started talking to her about where they should go. I brought it up to mom and she looked startled. She said making up my 16th birthday was taking longer than planned but it would happen and maybe we could do an extra special one for my 18th instead.

I asked her if that would be 1:1 and she said if she goes bigger it would need to include everyone. I told her I didn't want that. I said I want the two trips the others would go in my shoes and I told her if she takes my half sister before making it up to me then I will never forgive her. I told her I will never believe that she doesn't prefer them.

She said I was being unreasonable and compromises need to happen. I asked why she asked me to compromise and not them. I asked why she even kept me if I'm such a burden. She got mad and told me she never said or implied anything like that. She said I was looking to see the worst in her.

And then she told me she felt like I should hold it against her and my half siblings less and it would be reasonable to think I wouldn't want to punish them for her not being able to make it up to me yet. I told her it I didn't care if they were disappointed at having to wait.

That I was still waiting for one damn thing and hoping she wouldn't break another promise. I told her I was dumb to ever believe her because she's a liar and she clearly prefers them. She started yelling but I walked away from her and we haven't talked since.. AITA?

This family drama cuts deep, exposing the delicate balance of fairness in blended households. The teenager’s sense of neglect isn’t just about a missed trip—it’s a cry for equal love and attention. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned family therapist, notes, “When children perceive favoritism, it can erode trust and create lasting emotional wounds”. Here, the mother’s repeated delays and prioritization of her younger children signal to her daughter that her needs are secondary, fueling resentment.

The mother’s perspective, though, isn’t without merit. Juggling a blended family is no small feat, and financial or health setbacks, like those mentioned, can derail plans. Yet, her failure to communicate or follow through consistently undermines her daughter’s trust. A 2023 study from the American Psychological Association found that perceived parental favoritism affects 40% of children in blended families, often leading to strained relationships. This isn’t just a family spat—it’s a widespread issue.

Dr. Gottman’s advice emphasizes open communication: “Parents must validate children’s feelings and make equitable time for each.” For the mother, this means prioritizing the promised trip, even if it’s modest, to rebuild trust. A simple weekend getaway, planned with her daughter’s input, could signal commitment. Readers, consider this: how can parents balance competing demands without leaving one child feeling invisible?

Ultimately, the teenager deserves acknowledgment. Her anger is valid, but holding onto resentment may deepen the rift. A calm conversation, perhaps with a family therapist, could help both sides align. For now, the mother must act swiftly to honor her promise, or risk a fracture that time may not heal. What steps would you suggest for mending this bond?

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit’s hive mind didn’t hold back, serving up a mix of empathy, outrage, and tough love. Here’s a glimpse at what the community had to say:

Snowprincess207 − NTA! It is clear she favors your half siblings and will not admit it! I’m sorry to tell you but your mom has absolutely no intention of making up anything for you! When you turn 18, go no contact with her if you can! If she calls you guilt tripping you for leaving or asking for money/babysit, block her!

She only sees you as a convenience! On a side note, do you physically look like your dad? If yes there’s a chance she resents you as you remind her of him. How was the relationship dynamic between him and your mom? Was there cheating involved? Do you know the reason why they broke up? Where is your dad today?

Eastern_Condition863 − NTA, but you mother is majorly. Despite what she says, she is favoring them over you. Not sure why she's so shocked when you point it out to her. It's hard not to see the worst in her when that's all she's showing you. Do you have grandparents, aunts, uncles, to stay with for a while? It sounds like you need some space from her. You were right to call her a liar, because that's what she is.

Tfuentexxx − Wow, what a crappy mother you got. Tell her that strangers in internet say she is a cunt who favoring the kids of her actual husband to the detriment of her firstborn. After Reddit stops telling her what a horrible mother she is and how wretched she behaves for favoring her 'other kids', let her read this post to see if she reacts and stop putting you as a inevitable inconvenience and treats you like her real daughter for once.

Of course, she is obviously thinking on being on good terms with her d**k and meal ticket (you step dad) than with her own daughter. Oh, by the way, what does your bio father have to say about her disgusting behavior? And the rest of your family? Does she have parents alive? Maybe talking to your grandparents about her favoritism (to your siblings) and n**lect (towards you) could help you.

Trick_Curve_1933 − NTA. If your mom tries to talk again, “Very plainly, you’ve made your feelings clear. You made promises that applied only to your children with your current husband. Your promises to me are worth as much as the paper they’re written on. I will not make an effort to be more understanding, nor will I compromise and accept being treated as less important again.

I’m really tired of being the only person in the house to compromise, and I’ve frankly reached my quota. Our relationship is no more. I will leave as soon as I can and you and I are done. You can focus 100% on the children you wanted and you don’t have to worry about disappointing me ever again. I’m done chasing my mother’s love.”

Severe_Tear_6544 − NTA I also go through the same s**t with my mother she too promised to throw a birthday party when I turn 16 but it never happened.  What I am saying is she is always gonna be like that no matter how many times you speak to her about the imbalances she will never love you and treat you the way you deserve.

The best solution is to just let it go and focus on your school studies and be the best version of yourself you wanna be and finally be able to do for yourself the things your mom never did

ScallionSuperb2343 − For your 18th birthday, you should have a 1:0. My friend left home on her 18th birthday and never looked back. Build a support group and save your money. Frankly, you will grow out of the need to have a trip to go have fun in the pool. It seems like a big deal because you are a kid.

You won't be a kid for much longer. What is actually a big deal is the emotional abuse. 1:1 pool time with your abuser is not going to be as much fun as you think. It's too late. Focus on your future, not on what can't be undone.

Large_Effective_812 − NTA, stranger here it is clear she prefers your half siblings over you and honey I’m so sorry. Please take this giant mom hug for me and build your own family outside of home. Contact grandparents or Dad if you can to live with if you can you don’t deserve this. Im you in my family and I built my own network and never looked back.

Also when you leave they blame you for it anyway but it’s a great pleasure when they get old and come back to asking for cash. XOXO always remember she opened her legs and chose to have you you are not at fault for her awful parenting.

BrainySmurf − When she gets mad at you for pointing out the truth she shows you that she is favoring them and doesn't plan to stop. My advice is to keep those grades up, make plans for when you are 18 and focus on yourself and your future. You've said what you had to say and now it's on her but please please don't allow yourself to get your hopes up.. NTA

ProfessionalTell7435 − nta Honey, I'm so sorry, it's obvious that your mother prefers your half-siblings. I feel like giving you a hug and telling you that everything will be okay. Just concentrate on your education and get your mother out of your life or have any contact with her. It's obvious that she will never change.

JTBlakeinNYC − NTA. Your mother truly doesn’t care about you as much as she cares about your half-siblings. She isn’t going to ever do something special just for you, the way she does for them, and anything she tries to claim is for you will actually be for your half-siblings also.

She’s a terrible mother to you, and unfortunately she isn’t going to change. It’s unconscionable to see all of your siblings receive unconditional love and attention, but receive none yourself. Do you have any other family who will take you in?

These fiery takes from Reddit capture the raw emotion of the situation, but do they hold the key to resolution, or are they just fanning the flames?

This story leaves us pondering the delicate dance of family fairness. The teenager’s stand against her mother’s broken promises is both a plea for love and a demand for respect. While her mother grapples with life’s chaos, the cost of neglect looms large. What would you do if you were in this teen’s shoes—confront, forgive, or walk away? Share your thoughts and experiences below. How can families ensure every child feels valued?

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