AITA for telling my husband to let my sister continue to interact with our son?

The cozy flat buzzed with tension, the kind that lingers after a heated argument. A woman stood firm, championing her sister’s cherished role as a doting aunt to her seven-year-old son, even as her husband’s disapproval cast a shadow over their home. His outrage stemmed from a surprising revelation: the sister’s private, consensual lifestyle, uncovered during a pushy request to join her cabin getaway, clashed with his rigid expectations.

This family rift grew messier when the husband shared the sister’s personal choices with his parents, sparking accusations of “bad parenting” against the woman. Yet, her sister’s love for the boy remained steadfast—playful, appropriate, and unwavering. Caught between loyalty to her sister and her husband’s escalating judgment, she faced a storm of criticism. The situation, ripe with emotion and moral divides, set the stage for a heated Reddit debate.

‘AITA for telling my husband to let my sister continue to interact with our son?’

A few weeks ago my (36f) sister (29f) and her boyfriend (29m) told me they were going on a brief trip to a cabin her boyfriend owns with some friends (everybody would have to test negative for COVID before they bubbled up).

My husband and I were looking to get away for a bit so my husband asked if there was a possibility we could come with since their cabin is lovely imo. They said no which I totally understand since we would have to bring our son (7m) and grown people might not want to deal with that.

But my husband kind of pushed the point again and again asking why we couldn’t come when we were family and these people were not. Her boyfriend said he would be happy to let us use it after the trip. Eventually after a lot of prodding,

my sister quietly admitted they were going to be having more than conversation with the other people going to the trip up there if you catch my drift. That was not something I ever wanted to find out about my little sister and I don’t get it but if they’re all consenting adults.

My husband however has freaked out and told me he no longer wants our son interacting with sister until she breaks up with boyfriend. This sucks for a few reasons. She lives literally right above us in the flat we live in and often watches our son when the two of us can’t (and she has the time we don’t take advantage of her!).

She’s even babysat a few times for free.. My son adores her and she loves him. She’s a great aunt.. She’s never done anything inappropriate with him. Her boyfriend is also a great guy (they’ve been dating for a couple of years now) who has done us a couple of solid favors.

As far as I see it, she’s probably done this kind of stuff before and hung out with our son while being generally great so the only difference is that now we know. Husband is convinced that she’ll infect our son or something stupid like that.

We got into an argument about it. He told his parents and now my phone is being blown up about being a bad mom for exposing my son to “creepy s** things.” I do admit I really don’t get it and find it weird. but I don’t want to judge.. AITA?

This family drama exposes the friction when personal values collide. The husband’s persistent push to join the sister’s cabin trip forced a private disclosure about her consensual non-monogamous lifestyle, which he then weaponized to demand she be cut off from their son. His reaction, rooted in discomfort with her choices, assumes they taint her role as an aunt, despite no evidence of inappropriate behavior. The OP, however, sees her sister’s love for her son as separate from her private life.

ADVERTISEMENT

Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman notes, “Respect is the foundation of healthy relationships, even in disagreement” (source: Gottman Institute). The husband’s choice to share private details with his parents shows a lack of respect, escalating the conflict unnecessarily. His fear that the sister’s lifestyle could “infect” their son is unfounded, as she’s consistently responsible. Non-monogamy, practiced by 4-5% of Americans consensually (source: Journal of Sex Research), doesn’t inherently affect caregiving ability.

This situation reflects broader societal tensions around judging private, consensual behaviors. The husband’s entitlement to the cabin and subsequent moral outrage suggest a need to control others’ choices, which strains family bonds. The OP’s stance—valuing her sister’s role as an aunt—shows an effort to maintain harmony while respecting boundaries. Her challenge lies in navigating her husband’s discomfort without sacrificing her sister’s place in their son’s life.

To move forward, the OP could encourage open dialogue, perhaps with a counselor, to address her husband’s concerns without ultimatums. Setting clear boundaries, like keeping private matters confidential, could rebuild trust. The husband might benefit from reflecting on his judgment and apologizing for involving his parents. This approach fosters understanding while prioritizing the child’s well-being and family unity.

ADVERTISEMENT

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit users rallied behind the OP, slamming the husband’s overreaction and judgmental stance. They praised the sister’s responsible caregiving, noting her private life doesn’t impact her role as an aunt. The consensus? The husband’s pushiness about the cabin and gossiping to his parents crossed major lines, making him the clear antagonist in this family saga.

superfastmomma - NTA. You or sister. The husband is.. A person can have s** and lots of it privately and still be a good aunt.

RedoubtableSouth - NTA. Your son has never been exposed to 'creepy s** things' and everyone knows it. Your husband was being an entitled ass about not being able to go to the cabin, which kind of forced your sister's hand on admitting what waa really happening, and now he's dragging the details of her personal s** life out in the public.. Your husband is a terrible, rotten, sexist person.

ADVERTISEMENT

SevsMumma21217 - NTA. Your husband has blown this completely out of proportion. And the fact that he felt the need to run to Mummy and Daddeh to back him is super concerning. Your sister and her SO are grown, consenting adults.

So are their friends. What they all do behind closed doors is **their** business and *nobody* has a right to judge. And unless you drive to the cabin, burst thru the door, and set your son down in the middle of an orgy, I fail to see ***how*** you are exposing him to 'creepy s** things'.

Away_Breakfast_1652 - NTA. The fact that you were not previously aware of their lifestyle shows how careful they are to keep it completely separate from their regular interactions with you and your family. Your husband, on the other hand, is an a**hole, for the judgement,

ADVERTISEMENT

for involving your in laws, and also for repeatedly pushing to try and invite yourselves on their trip after being told no repeatedly. I’m surprised no one is mentioning that last. You could even tell your in laws that your sister only told you that to shut your husband up about imposing on their trip.

[Reddit User] - NTA I think it's weird that 1. your husband pushed so much to go on a vacation that he was told he wasn't welcome at to the point where she felt like she had to tell her business to get the point across that he's not welcome

and 2. that he's so bothered by it and telling his parents. That would cause a huge argument between my husband and I. That is her business and her vacation and she shouldn't have to worry about what her BIL thinks about it.

ADVERTISEMENT

WitchyRed1974 - NTA - Your husband should have just taken no as an answer. But he kept pushing so now he knows something that is not his concern. Sounds like your sister has been very good at keeping her private life private so i see no reason she can't keep being there for your son.

trilliumsummer - Do you guys have s** around your son? No? Because that's not what responsible adults do? Why in the world would he think your sister would do otherwise? NTA

czechtheboxes - NTA (mostly), but husband is for these reasons: 1. Your sister's BF owns the cabin with his friends, so your husband being pissy about 'we are family and they aren't' is entitled BS. Personally I wouldn't let your husband use the cabin after that statement on principle.

ADVERTISEMENT

You and your husband were also never invited to the cabin in the first place, you guys invited yourselves (you are slight TA here for this). Your sister sounds like the kind of person who would have invited you for a break but this trip was with friends and you both should have left them alone.

2. Your sister was forced to disclose personal information to you because your husband was being an entitled a**hole. Your husband then decided to run to his mommy about something not any of their business and demand she dump her boyfriend. She isn't exposing your son to anything because she knows what is

and isn't appropriate around children. Your sis and BF has done you some big favors for you and babysits for you for free. Husband needs to apologize and his family need to back off or I would not be surprised if sis stops babysitting or doing favors, especially if you don't get your husband and his family to back off.

ADVERTISEMENT

Talathia - NTA, but boy is your husband the AH. First, he pushes for an invite, even after being politely declined. He pushes so hard that your sister feels pressured to share a private part of her life with you.

What she and her boyfriend do in the privacy of their own home should have no bearing in her relationship with your son. Also, how dare your husband then go on to share such private information with others. Tell your husband to take a class on tolerance, and stop being so closed minded.

ObsecureAccount - Info: how did your husband find out? Did you sis tell you both?

ADVERTISEMENT

Many highlighted the sister’s discretion, proving her ability to keep personal matters separate from her nephew. The community saw the husband’s ban as unfair and his sharing of private details as a betrayal, urging the OP to stand firm. These candid opinions underscore the value of boundaries and respect in family dynamics.

This tangled family drama lays bare the clash between personal choices and family roles. The OP’s defense of her sister’s bond with her son challenges her husband’s harsh judgment, raising questions about acceptance and boundaries. With the sister’s love for her nephew unwavering and appropriate, the husband’s reaction threatens to fracture their close-knit circle. Share your thoughts in the comments—how would you navigate this family feud?

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *