AITA for telling my husband to FO and leave if he doesn’t like my parenting?

In a quiet suburban home, tension simmers like a pot left too long on the stove. A mother watches her 16-year-old son retreat into his room, his once-bright spirit dimmed by the weight of strangers’ stares and unsolicited camera flashes. His striking looks, a blessing to some, have become a curse, driving him to shun the outside world. When she pushes for therapy to help him cope, her husband scoffs, dismissing their son’s pain as laziness. Her frustration boils over, sparking a fiery confrontation that leaves the family divided.

The clash reveals a deeper struggle: balancing a teen’s mental health with clashing parental views. As the mother fights for her son’s well-being, readers are drawn into a story that’s as relatable as it is heart-wrenching. How far would you go to protect your child’s peace?

‘AITA for telling my husband to fO and leave if he doesn’t like my parenting?’

We have a son, he just turned 16 few days ago. His mental health is in pretty bad shape. The reason might seem weird to people. I don’t even know how to put it to words correctly. He’s really pretty. Random people comment on it on streets,they’d take pictures of him, He’s been offered to model multiple times.

He hates the attention and stopped going out at all. He has 5 close friends that he hangs out with, doesn’t post any pictures on social media and absolutely hates being around cameras. In last few months it has gotten even worse, he rarely leaves his room. His friends visit almost everyday and that’s the only thing that makes him happy.

I talked to him about therapy multiple times and he finally agreed that he’d go to one session. My husband finds all of this ridiculous. He thinks that he’s just making up stuff and being lazy and you can’t be insecure about people finding you attractive. When I told him about therapy he said that I was wasting time and money.

I was honestly fed up with him acting this way and told him to f**k off and leave if he doesn’t like me actually parenting and caring about his son. He didn’t leave but now he’s ignoring me.. His sister(who lives with us) thinks I was childish and disrespectful and I could’ve just talked to him calmly.

This family’s conflict is a stark reminder that mental health struggles don’t always look like we expect. The mother’s push for therapy contrasts sharply with her husband’s denial, highlighting a common divide in how families address emotional well-being.

The son’s distress, fueled by unwanted attention, is far from trivial. According to a 2023 study by the American Psychological Association, 60% of teens report anxiety tied to social pressures, including appearance-based scrutiny. The mother’s advocacy aligns with expert advice, while her husband’s stance risks deepening their son’s isolation. As psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour notes in a 2024 article, “Unwanted attention, even if ‘positive,’ can erode self-esteem when it feels objectifying”.

The mother’s outburst, though heated, stems from protective instincts. Her husband’s dismissal reflects outdated views on masculinity, where vulnerability is weakness. Therapy could help the son navigate his insecurities, but family counseling might also bridge the parents’ divide. Both need to listen—really listen—to their son’s pain.

The broader issue here is society’s obsession with appearance. Compliments can turn toxic when they define a person’s worth, especially for teens grappling with identity. Encouraging open dialogue and professional support, as the mother does, is a step toward healing.

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Here’s what the community had to contribute:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, dishing out a mix of cheers and side-eyes like a lively family reunion. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the crowd:

Sarissa32 − NTA. Your husband is being a jerk and his sister doesn’t get a say in your parenting (or marriage). But this seems like a symptom of a bigger problem. Does your husband often put your kids down? And disregard your opinions? Some individual therapy may not be a terrible idea to unpack that.

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[Reddit User] − NTA your son may has gotten a lot of unwanted attention and there might be something that happened that he may not feel comfortable saying to his parents. He may also be very depressed. Therapy could help him work through his insecurities and emotions.

Your husband wants to ignore and minimize the subject whereas you want to support your son. I would be pissed off with the 'get over it' attitude and that is very toxic for anyone going through something. I think you responded with the level of seriousness this needs.

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gardeinheart − NTA. Everyone should go to therapy at some point, even if you don’t have any obvious mental health issues. It’s important to have an unbiased person to talk through things with. Your son is lucky that you’re able to offer that to him and that you care enough to take notice of his problems.

InevitableZombie6 − NTA. It’s common for people to develop insecurities and mental health issues from unwanted attention — positive or negative — especially when it’s based on their appearance.. And your SIL should keep her opinions to herself.

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brokenCupcakeBlvd − ESH. Your husband needs to not trivialize his son’s issues, but saying “well leave then” is not how you handle that. There are certain things you just should not say, and that is one of them. If you want a divorce get a divorce don’t hurl that in your s/o’s face to hurt them.

Cultural-Lettuce − ESH. Telling your husband to f**k off if he doesn't like your parenting style was a bit much

flatlittleoniondome − NTA. There’s something going on with your son. And it sounds like it’s serious. When I was a teenager I became anorexic when I started becoming active online and using social media. This was back in the days of yahoo chat and AOL, MySpace, etc.

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there were some mean clicks of girls and chat room bullies and I did whatever I could to never be made fun of and get on their good side. I’m not proud of it but I stole clothes from Hot Topic and makeup from the drugstore just to look a certain way that my poor ass couldn’t afford.

I was too young to get a job. I stayed in my room all day to avoid the person in my family I lived with who abused me in the past. Because I did part of high school online I would stay up all night and sleep all day because I was afraid of someone sneaking into my room. But from the outside it just looked like I was being antisocial and obsessed with internet friends.

In reality I was distracting myself from my real world fears and abuser by finding less threatening —albeit still very unhealthy — peers online to measure my self worth. When I started self harming I always wore long sleeves and pants even in the winter to hide scars.

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I told my mom I was cold all the time which led to her wanting me to go to the doctor, but I finally told her the truth and it got a lot better just knowing I wasn’t going to be in trouble or judged. Not to say I don’t still struggle with all these demons but as an adult now I can look back and see how these little things to another person actually indicated something majorly wrong.

eventually I took a two or three year hiatus from all social media because I realized how shallow it was. I became OCD about cleaning and I constantly read or watched TV if I wasn’t cleaning, so basically I was never in my room hiding. Exact opposite of how I had lived before but still unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Against my better judgement I did some modeling in my early twenties. I always got a lot of attention when I had super long black hair because I avoid the sun and am pale and have light eyes. So people never know what nationality I am.

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So I started doing modeling for friends, then got some professional photos of me for my mom (she was losing her sight rapidly and wanted professional photos of me her only child one last time). Well that led to doing some modeling in the “vampire” scene and I realized I was becoming anorexic again so I stopped social media and cut all ties to anyone in the modeling/photography world.

It reminded me too much of the elitist snobby clicks I spent all of my teenage years living to impress. Let me just say as a female there are a lot of creeps out there when you’re a teen or young adult and who knows what your son has heard, seen or been exposed to.

Drastic changes in behavior, diet, sleeping habits, the way someone dresses, these can all be indicators of something really wrong. When you look different you get a lot of attention and not all of it is good.

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Compliments can make you feel bad about yourself if they’re always physical because you’re afraid that’s all you have to offer and you worry about maintaining your weight or physique because what if people think you’re worthless then. You realize the entire time society is shallow and you shouldn’t treat yourself this way,

but as a teenager/young adult it’s so hard to maintain that attitude when your peers and the world at large is throwing so many mixed messages at you. I don’t mean to ramble but I wish my mom had known these things when I was a teenager. It would have saved us both a lot of heartache. God bless my mom for being my advocate, please be your sons. x

[Reddit User] − ESH. He sucks for doubting your son's mental health problems, and you suck for blowing up.. hope your son gets the help he needs.

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[Reddit User] − ESH. Your husband is wrong about the proper response to your sons issue, but issuing an ultimatum decades into a marriage over a parenting disagreement is a very extreme way to handle the situation.

[Reddit User] − NTA. You are being a good mother and your husband isn't putting any effort in trying to understand your son's situation. This situation is a bit unusual, but it doesn't take a genius to see that that much attention can make someone extremely uncomfortable and close in on themselves.

As much as it may seem like positive attention, it can be very damaging for people who are more introverted like your son. Also, your husband is the AH. He's acting like one of those men who don't believe in showing emotion or that men can have self esteem issues.

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These Redditors rallied behind the mother’s fierce defense of her son, with many slamming her husband’s toxic “tough it out” vibe. Some called her outburst harsh, urging calmer communication, but most agreed her heart was in the right place. Still, do these hot takes capture the full picture, or are they just fueling the fire?

This story lays bare the messy reality of parenting through a teen’s mental health crisis. The mother’s stand, though explosive, shines a light on the importance of validating a child’s struggles, even when they defy expectations. Her husband’s resistance and her sister-in-law’s critique add layers to a conflict that’s all too familiar for many families. Supporting a teen’s well-being often means challenging norms and facing pushback, but it’s a fight worth having. What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Share your thoughts and experiences below.

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