AITA for telling my husband he’s an embarrassment?

A marriage unraveled in a single confession when a woman’s husband admitted to cheating, prompting her to call him an “embarrassment” and set divorce in motion. Despite his pleas, a list of counselors, and family pressure to forgive, her zero-tolerance stance on infidelity holds firm, casting a spotlight on betrayal and self-respect.

This isn’t just about a broken vow; it’s a story of standing up to pain and judgment. The narrative pulls us into a raw moment of heartbreak and defiance, raising questions about loyalty and the cost of forgiveness.

‘AITA for telling my husband he’s an embarrassment?’

Hi everyone, this is my first time using Reddit so cut me some slack. So I (25f) found out that my husband (26m) cheated on me with his co-worker. He came clean to me a few nights ago because he felt guilty. He said it was a mistake and it only lasted for a week. He said he loved me and she didn't mean anything to him.

He wanted to work on our marriage and he made a list of marriage counselors that we could see. He blocked her and turned in his two week notice so he could move to another job closer to where we live. He showed me all there texts and calls. He even sent her a text telling her that he didn't want to continue a relationship with her.

When he told me he cheated on me, I felt numb. I wanted to cry, but I choose not to because he doesn't deserve to see me cry. I was so- and still am- incredibly angry at him. How could he throw away out relationship like that? All for some fun? That same night I contacted a divorce lawyer.

I gathered all the texts that he sent her and packed a bag and left to stay at my parents house. When his parents asked why I left him, I told them the truth. They were angry at him, but begged me to stay with him. I firmly told them that I was going to leave him no matter how hard he tried to fix his mistake.

In my eyes, my husband is now a cheater and nothing can fix that. He knew I had a zero tolerance rule for cheating and he broke that. Now he has to deal with the consequences. A lot of our family members and friends know about his affair now.

Some are asking me to reconsidering divorcing him because of all the steps he took to reconcile with me. He's been blowing up my phone and reiterating that it meant nothing to him. Well then, I must've meant less than nothing if he was wiling to pick her over me.

I have no plans on filing for divorced on the grounds of a**ltery, I just want this to be quick and over so I can move and find someone actually loyal and not a complete piece of crap. Recently he called me and against the advice of my lawyer, I picked up.

He once again begged me to reconsider and said I was the only woman in the world for me. I told him that its best for him to get himself a divorce lawyer and to move on. He said he wouldn't do that because he believed that our marriage was fixable.

I told him that our marriage wasn't fixable because of how much of an embarrassment his infidelity was to me. I felt a little bad because he started to cry and apologizing for hurting and embarrassing me. I just hung up.

His parents called me and said that they understood where I was coming from, but that my comment was inappropriate and hurtful. My sister thinks I'm being an a**hole and that I said it out of spite. So was I wrong?.

Edit:. I wrote this in a comment but decided to put it here as well. Hi everyone! I just wanted to say thank you all for the kind words to me (and the not so kind words to my future ex husband lol). I feel so supported here and not alone. ❤️

A wife’s sharp label of “embarrassment” for her cheating husband wasn’t just anger—it was a reclaiming of dignity after betrayal. His week-long affair, confessed out of guilt, shattered her zero-tolerance boundary, and his efforts—quitting his job, blocking the co-worker, seeking counseling—can’t erase the trust he broke.

Her numbness and refusal to cry reflect self-preservation, while family pressure to reconcile dismisses her pain. Calling him an embarrassment, though harsh, voiced the humiliation of public betrayal.

Infidelity often ends marriages: a 2021 Journal of Family Issues study found 60% of couples divorce after cheating, with trust rarely fully restored. Her family’s push to forgive may stem from discomfort with conflict, but it invalidates her boundary. Relationship therapist Dr. Shirley Glass notes, “Reconciliation requires the cheater to fully own the damage, not the betrayed to absorb it”.

She should follow her lawyer’s advice, limit contact, and lean on supportive allies like her parents. Therapy can help process her anger and grief, ensuring she moves forward with strength. Her words weren’t wrong—they were honest in a moment of raw hurt.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit overwhelmingly supported the wife, declaring her NTA for calling her husband an embarrassment and pursuing divorce. They praised her firm stance, noting his cheating violated her clear boundary, and dismissed his reconciliation efforts as too late.

Many criticized family members for pressuring her to stay, calling their defense of him dismissive of her pain, and cheered her sharp retort as a justified expression of betrayal’s sting. The consensus urged her to stay the course, follow her lawyer, and prioritize her healing over others’ opinions.

Foolish-Pleasure99 − I have often commented that I believe a relationship can recover from cheating (once) under the right circumstances and if there is suitable contriteness and atonement, yada yada. But I assure you I absolutely respect your firm zero tolerance.

He did do all the right things like quiting his job, but your are absolutely justified to want nothing to do with that BS. If

buzz_buzzing_buzzed − You aren't wrong.. He is an a**hole. Follow your lawyers instructions. You're paying him a lot of money to get you through this. Don't pick up the phone.

KelsarLabs −

MNConcerto − Not wrong, you are under no obligation to stay with a cheater. He crossed one of your boundaries. It is embarrassing for him.

Internal_Ad_3455 − You're not wrong. The truth hurts. He should be embarrassed of his behavior. You're young and I'm guessing no kiddos. I would divorce too. You have time to find a more worthy partner.

Fairmount1955 − Nope, not wrong. First, I'm sorry so many people in your life are such disappointments they want to push you to stay w him. And LOL to his parents for raising a cheater and then having the gall to say YOUR comment was inappropriate?!. Run. 

Fire_or_water_kai − Not wrong. It's really rich how his parents are saying that your comment was inappropriate and hurtful (like cheating wasn't), and your sister is a grade a a**hole for shaming you for saying how it is. So what if you said it in anger. You're rightfully angry!

I wonder if they're all cheaters themselves, given how quick they are to condemn you and not empathize with how hurt you are.. Your husband has to live with the consequences, despite everyone else not wanting him to.

DramaticBar8510 − There's absolutely nowhere in this post where you're wrong. He is a f**king embarrassment! And holy s**t! His parents and YOUR sister said what you SAID TO HIM was wrong?F**K THEM!

Honestly, you've been too easy. If he can't handle the f**king facts being thrown to his face, then he's more of a little b**ch than you knew of him. Again, you're good and haven't done anything wrong in my book.

easythrowaway12345 − Anytime anyone tells you that you should stay, say: “So you think I deserve to be cheated on?” Or “So you’re ok if your spouse cheats on you? I’ll let them know” or some variation. Every. Time.

AccomplishedMap4275 − I’m so proud of you. I know you are going through a tough time but it seems like you are doing everything right. You will come out of this with your head held high and a better person. You definitely aren’t in the wrong. Just telling the truth.

This wasn’t just about a single word—it was about a woman reclaiming her worth after her husband’s betrayal. Her “embarrassment” jab and divorce plans reflect a refusal to settle for less than loyalty, despite family pushback.

As she moves toward freedom, it’s a reminder that self-respect outshines others’ expectations. How do you stand firm after a betrayal? Share your story—what’s your key to reclaiming your strength?

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