AITA for telling my half-siblings to get over the fact that we have the same dad?

Picture a 16-year-old girl, thrilled to finally know her “Uncle David” is her real dad, only to face a sting from her younger half-siblings. They shun her, demanding she ditch “dad” for “Uncle David,” claiming he’s theirs alone. Hurt and angry, she snaps, telling them to “get over” sharing the same father, sparking a family uproar. Her stepmom cheers her on, her mom shrugs, and her dad calls for kindness.

This Reddit saga is a raw tangle of newfound family, betrayal, and teen tempers. Was her outburst a justified stand, or a harsh blow to young hearts? It’s a story that pulses with secrets, loyalty, and the ache of belonging.

‘AITA for telling my half-siblings to get over the fact that we have the same dad?’

This Reddit post unveils a teen’s clash with her half-siblings over a shared father. Here’s her story, unfiltered:

So, I (16 F) didn't know my real dad was for most of my life. It turned out that he was my mom's best friend's husband cause he cheated with my mom. They all knew, my mom just didn't tell me until this year. Looking back he's always been like a dad to me even though I always referred to him as Uncle David.

My dad and his wife, who I call Aunt Olivia, have kids and I always thought they liked me, like they're younger but they'd always want me to play with them and they were always trying to impress me and stuff. I was like an older cousin than a sister though. Since we got everything in the open I've been over to their house more often.

Aunt Olivia loves having me there and I love having her be my stepmom cause she was already like my bonus mom. But the kids don't like me anymore, they don't want me to play with them anymore and they'll barely acknowledge my presence. Yesterday during dinner my dad (cause I'm never going to stop calling him that) and Aunt Olivia had to go talk to a neighbor and I was left alone with the kids.

They kind of ganged up on me and said I should go back to saying Uncle David cause they only want him to be their dad. I get that they're younger than me but they've never known what it's like not to have a dad and I got really mad and I angrily told them that I'm never calling him Uncle David again and if they liked it so much they can call him that.

I said to get over the fact that all of us have the same dad. It caused a fuss and my mom had to come take me home. Aunt Olivia is 100% on my side, my mom doesn't really care and my dad told me that I should be more considerate to their feelings cause they're younger. My friends told me I was an a**hole cause I should've helped make them understand. So, am I the a**hole?

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This family drama is a stark portrait of upheaval from a long-hidden affair. The girl’s joy at claiming her father clashes with her half-siblings’ shock, as their stable family image—mom, dad, kids—crumbles with her as proof of their father’s infidelity. Their rejection of her as a sister reflects displaced anger at their parents, while her sharp retort, though understandable, fuels their pain. All are teens or younger, navigating a mess the adults created.

Family therapist Dr. Harriet Lerner notes, “Secrets in families breed mistrust; kids need guidance to process them” (Source). A 2023 study in Journal of Family Therapy found that 67% of children struggle with sibling bonds after parental affair revelations (Source). The parents’ failure to mediate—mom’s apathy, dad’s mild rebuke, stepmom’s bias—leaves the kids to fend emotionally.

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Family therapy is crucial to unpack this betrayal. “Validate all feelings,” Lerner advises. The girl could model maturity by apologizing for her tone, not her truth, to open dialogue. The half-siblings need space to grieve their old family narrative. The adults must own their roles in this chaos.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit chimed in with takes as bold as a family feud. Here’s what the crowd had to say:

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Intelligent-Help8946 − NAH. This is a new development for everyone. It'll take time to adjust. Your dad should be considering therapy for all of you to process this easier.. Hope you all make it thru this happy and healthy!. Side note: I want to high five your step mom/aunt. Her treatment of you is beyond stellar.

edana4242 − OMG you are def NTA. You know who is....you're mom - for stupin' her best friends hubby and putting you in this situation.

Rezenbekk − Considering your ages, I'm going with NAH. You were a bit rude but the kids were trying to deny you your dad. What the kids said is wrong and hurtful but they are young and probably feel that you're replacing them - are you getting special attention compared to them since you've learned the truth?. Can't really blame either side here but were you adults, it'd be NTA.

beelovedone − ESH. These kids just found out their dad has another kid with a woman that isn't their mother, they are rightfully confused/upset. They shouldn't have taken it out on you. You are old enough to know better than to respond the way you did, even in anger.

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You have a right to call him whatever you are comfortable with, your new step siblings also have a right to feel put off by it especially if they weren't told. Which bring us to the adults, sounds like they all failed, also sounds like we are missing some info because Olivia is just cool with your mom after having slept with her husband? That's....evolved.

Summoning-Freaks − NAH. Except for ALL the parents. All 3 of them. But you need to understand that this revelation has resulted in 2 very different experiences from either side. 2 completely different mindfucks. For you, you gained a father and a bonus mom. You’re jealous that those kids get their dad full time when you’ve had to grow up 15-16 years without one.

You consider this to be a blessing, finally, that missing piece was found! But for those kids? You are the embodiment that their dad cheated on their mom. You are the embodiment that their parents *knew* they had a sister, chose to integrate you into their lives as a non-family member, and then dropped the bomb on their 11 and 15 year old children.

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Their idea of their family was complete. Mom, dad, 2 kids, happy family. Now the parents are trying to shove an extra piece into their family portrait and It’s messed up their entire view of not only their family, but of their parents’ characters. At their ages, you really can’t ask for total acceptance of the situation. Even adults would struggle with hearing that their dad cheated and fathered a child he brought around the family as a “cousin”.

The kids are mad at their dad, but they’re too young to recognise the deeper issue and you’re their outlier because you’re the outsider, you’re the intrusion upon their family unit. If my parents hid a whole half-sibling for me, it would feel like the ultimate betrayal. What other skeletons are in the closet?

The fact that your mom refuses to let you attend family therapy is doing the entire family unit a huge disservice and if it isn’t improved by the time you graduate highschool, I’d remain realistic about how much your half-siblings will consider you family. Blood is not the be-all end-all for everyone.

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(Side note: my fiancé and his brother are full brothers, but their parents never took them to therapy or got them help becuase “boys will be boys” and “they’ll grow out of it”. It doesn’t work like that, they’re in their 30s, they pretty much refuse to be in the same room together, and don’t talk when as a**hole family member sits them side by side at their wedding or something.

Late_Engineering9973 − I can't wrap mt head around your mum f**king her best friends husband, getting knocked up and the wife somehow being okay with everything...

Spinnnerette − NTA: Not everyone handles changes in family dynamics or just changes in general, so their reaction is understandable. It’s more the parents’ job to talk to your half siblings than your job.

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TheMobyDicks − NAH but your friends are right that you should help your step-siblings understand. Gently explain your side of things. Your dad should broker this interaction. Good luck.

xj2608 − You are all children dealing with an unexpected exposure into adult relationships. Your parents should be the ones dealing with the insecurity issues that this brings up - it shouldn't be on you to do it. Your dad is TA for making you responsible for their feelings. You are NTA, but neither are the other kids.

marshmallow4955 − YTA but not because of how you feel, just you could have responded way better. If you want your younger half-siblings to act more mature about this situation and 'get over it', YOU should be demonstrating maturity yourself. You said it yourself. they're younger than you. They've always looked up to you, and this is an opportunity for them to look at you for how to maturely handle an undeniably difficult situation.

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These Reddit opinions are as fiery as a sibling spat, but do they miss the parents’ role in fueling this mess?

This story is a tender mix of truth, pain, and youth. The girl’s stand for her dad clashed with her half-siblings’ fears, but the adults’ silence lit the fuse. Could therapy or a gentler talk mend their bonds, or is distance inevitable? What would you do if your siblings rejected your place in the family? Share your thoughts—have you ever faced a family secret that tore you apart?

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