AITA for telling my girlfriend not to join me on vacation because of her financial situation?

Jonathan Hours
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Picture a sunny escape to Florida, planned as a well-earned break after a work trip to Las Vegas—until a relationship hiccup clouds the horizon. A young man, flush with a bonus to fund his solo getaway, faces a dilemma when his girlfriend, strapped for cash, wants to tag along by borrowing from her struggling dad. Knowing her family skimps on groceries and home basics, he’s torn: invite her and risk enabling a bad choice, or ask her to sit it out for their sake? Reddit’s buzzing with this travel tangle.

As he wrestles with concern for her family’s needs versus her vacation dreams, the couple’s one-year bond hits a test. Is he fair to nudge her toward responsibility, or is he gatekeeping their fun? Let’s unpack this suitcase of priorities, money, and love to see where the journey leads

‘AITA for telling my girlfriend not to join me on vacation because of her financial situation?’

I (26M) have been dating my girlfriend (25F) for almost a year. Soon, I’ll be traveling to Las Vegas for a work event. My company is covering my round-trip international flight and expenses during the event. After that, I’m planning to use my vacation days to spend some time in Florida — that part will be paid out of my own pocket (domestic flight, accommodation, food, etc.).

My girlfriend wants to join me in Florida, but she’s not in a good financial situation. I just received my annual bonus, which is just enough to cover my own travel plans. She doesn’t have the money and suggested asking her dad to help cover the trip. Here’s the thing: I know her family is struggling.

They don’t have a car, there’s often a lack of basic groceries at home, no proper shower stall, no curtains — things like that. So it really doesn’t sit right with me that she’d ask her dad for money to go on vacation while those basic needs are unmet.

I’d love to travel with her someday, but I feel like this just isn’t the right moment. I’m worried she’ll take it personally or think I don’t want her there. But to me, encouraging her to spend (or borrow) money for this trip feels irresponsible.. **AITA for thinking she shouldn’t come and should use the money for more important things?**

This vacation vibe-check is less about plane tickets and more about clashing values in a budding relationship. The man’s hesitation to greenlight his girlfriend’s trip stems from a protective instinct—her family’s bare-bones living situation screams louder than a beach getaway. Her push to borrow money, though, hints at mismatched priorities or perhaps a hope he’ll step in, as some Redditors speculated.

Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a relationship psychologist, notes in Should I Stay or Should I Go?, “Money decisions in couples reveal deeper truths about respect and alignment.” His concern shows care, but judging her choice risks overstepping—her finances aren’t his to control. Her willingness to burden her dad, knowing their struggles, raises flags about responsibility, especially after just a year together.

Money strains many relationships. A 2023 Pew Research study found 41% of couples cite financial disagreements as a top tension, particularly when incomes differ. His bonus-funded plans highlight their gap, making her inclusion tricky without clear communication.

For a smoother ride, Durvasula suggests a heart-to-heart. He could share his worry about her family’s needs, framing it as care, not control, and propose a cheaper local getaway later to bond affordably. If she insists, respecting her choice—while staying firm on not funding it—keeps boundaries clear. Couples’ workshops on money could align their goals

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit’s comment crew is tossing out a mix of cheers for his logic and shade for her choices, with a few curveballs on compromise. Here’s a taste of their lively takes—pack light!

Old_Sheepherder_630 − I personally wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who knows their dad doesn't have money for groceries and wants to ask him to finance a non-essential trip for them anyway.. That level of selfishness is a deal breaker for me. NTA

gcot802 − I mean you are NTA, but this really isn’t up to you. It’s her business to manage her finances and her relationship with her dad. I agree with you that what she is doing is dumb and selfish, but that’s her choice. Personally though, I do think this says something about her judgement and character. She knows her family situation. What does it say that she’s willing to put them out like this for a vacation?

laughinglovinglivid − INFO: has she asked for your opinion on this, or did she just let you know she might ask her dad?

Alternative_Print279 − Frankly, reading that makes me think she is hoping you will bring her to the trip. You just got your bonus and she is broke. The

NoiseMammoth3029 − What kind of person would ask her Dad for a trip when she knows how they live? Pretty selfish to me.

Horror_Importance886 − If you want to travel with her but you're worried about her financial situation, have you considered adjusting your plans so your bonus could cover a shorter or closer vacation for both of you? Or so that sharing the cost would be achievable for her? Inb4

Do you expect her financial situation to improve so she can eventually travel with you? Or are you expecting to eventually make enough that you CAN cover both of your costs? And the two of you will just never travel together until one of those things happen?

Idk like solo vacations/trips/activities are fine but if you want to travel with your girlfriend it seems odd to just act like it's 100% her problem to figure out how to travel with you, and ALSO then be judgemental of how she tries to solve that problem. The way you write it, it kind of sounds like you don't actually want her to join you.

Which is fine, just, confusing. And I'm wondering what you actually expect for the future of this relationship. The reality of being in a serious relationship with someone who makes a lot less money than you is that you're going to end up paying for more stuff if you want to have a relatively normal partnership, unless you are both living within the lower earners means and just saving the rest.

Lilac-Roses-Sunsets − NTA. I would tell her. The thing is what you really should be thinking about is What kind of person would put their vacation needs over their families basic needs? She sounds selfish and self centered. Are you absolutely sure she isn’t trying to guilt YOU into paying for her vacation?

Old-Dog-6674 − Is she really that irresponsible.. seriously bro. She’s broke. Her family is broke . And her priority is going on a vacation. She ain’t earned no damned vacation!! She needs to reevaluate what’s truly important . Personally I think you are the AH for not confronting her about this. Sorry for being so hard on you bro 😭

fungibleprofessional − NTA for offering the advice, as long as it doesn’t sound like you’re telling her you don’t want her there. Everything you’re saying sounds rational, but if I was dating someone for a year and they couldn’t afford to join me on a certain vacation, I’d probably figure out a way to fix that.  Specifically, I’d probably skip Florida and come straight home from work trip and find a more local/affordable way for you to spend your vacation days together.

Side note I’d be super pissed if my significant other ditched me for Florida. It would be more palatable to me if you stayed around Vegas and did stuff. First, it’s more like you’re extending your paid-for trip, not taking a completely separate trip without her. Second, Florida is 100% NOT worth tanking a relationship over.

ConditionYellow − If it was a gf I loved, I’d find a way to spend that bonus so that we could both enjoy it.. ESH.

This vacation saga shows how fast money can reroute a relationship’s path, turning a sunny plan into a stormy debate. The man’s nudge for his girlfriend to skip the trip aims to protect her family’s needs, but risks sounding like a veto on her fun. Is he right to speak up, or should he let her chart her own course? How would you handle a partner’s risky money move for a shared adventure? Drop your thoughts, stories, or advice in the comments—let’s map out this rocky road trip together!

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