AITA for telling my gf’s mom to FO when she woke me up?

The hum of a long night shift still lingered in the air as a weary worker collapsed into bed, craving precious sleep. But peace was short-lived when his girlfriend’s mother, on her first visit to their shared home, stormed into his room, demanding he haul her bags and calling him lazy. Barely 90 minutes into his rest, his patience snapped, unleashing a sharp “f**k off” that echoed through the weekend, turning her visit into a sour standoff.

This tale of sleep deprivation and crossed boundaries unfolds with raw tension, as a man defends his rest against an intrusive guest. Reddit’s buzzing with takes on his fiery retort, but was it justified outrage or a step too far? Dive into this drama where exhaustion, disrespect, and a mother-in-law’s audacity collide in a sleepy showdown.

‘AITA for telling my gf’s mom to f**k off when she woke me up?’

So my gf and I have been live together for about 6 months, she moved a few hours away from her home to live with me. This was her moms first visit here this weekend. I’m currently on night shift for a few weeks, I work 7pm to 7am with 2 hours drive time to and from.

I went to bed around 11 and the gf’s mom was coming that day, she got here around 12. My gf told her to be quiet since I’m working nights so sleeping during the day. At around 12:30 she comes in my room, wakes me up and tells me “stop being so lazy,

you don’t need to sleep all day, now help carry my bags from my car”. I flipped out, told her to f**k off and grab her own bags and stay out of my room. I had about 1.5h of sleep so far so not in a good mood. Well let’s just say she turned into a miserable cunt all weekend.. So aita here? Did I go too far

Waking a night shift worker to demand they carry bags? That’s not just rude—it’s a blatant disregard for boundaries. The girlfriend’s mother crossed a line by barging into the OP’s room and insulting him, prompting his heated outburst. While his language was sharp, her provocation set the stage. Let’s unpack this with some expert insight.

Dr. Susan Heitler, a clinical psychologist, notes in Psychology Today that “disrespect in shared spaces often escalates when personal boundaries, like sleep, are violated” (Psychology Today). The mother’s actions, ignoring the girlfriend’s request to keep quiet, show a lack of respect for the OP’s demanding schedule. Heitler suggests such intrusions can trigger defensive reactions, as seen in the OP’s response.

This scenario highlights broader issues of sleep disruption. A 2022 study by the National Sleep Foundation found that 43% of shift workers report sleep disturbances from external interruptions, impacting health and mood. The mother’s “lazy” jab, paired with her demand, was a double blow, especially after only 90 minutes of rest.

For the OP, a calmer response—like firmly asking her to leave the room—might have de-escalated the situation, but his frustration was understandable. Moving forward, setting clear house rules with his girlfriend, like no unannounced entries, can prevent repeat offenses. The mother owes an apology, and a discussion with all parties could reset expectations. The OP’s reaction was human, but clear communication will protect his peace going forward.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

The Reddit crew rolled in like a night shift caffeine run, dishing out support with a side of spice. Here’s the raw scoop from the crowd:

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[Reddit User] − NTA. Nope. This woman crossed some serious boundaries. Third shift workers sleep during the day and deserve to be left alone. Sounds like this woman needs to stay in a hotel with a bellman if she can’t heft her own luggage.

Reddoraptor − NTA, telling you you’re being lazy after you’ve only been at home a few hours and had less than 2 hours of sleep is totally disrespectful to you in your own home. I am not at all following anyone who says you’re the ass hole after she verbally attacked you without provocation in this way,

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that’s utterly f**ked - the only more appropriate response that jumps to mind would have been something like “How dare you speak to me in that way, who do you think you are, this is my home, I worked all night, leave here this instant and do not come back, you are not welcome.”

[Reddit User] − NTA, can you imagine the audacity this lady must have to go into someone else’s home, wake them up, and demand they do something for them immediately? Wow.

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candy-grrl − Nta, shouldn’t have said f**k off but I work third shift too and just being able to sleep during the day is a challenge alone. Your gf told her to leave you alone to start, she should’ve left you to sleep unless she wants y’all to be homeless or jobless

chickeni3oo − Reddit, once a captivating hub for vibrant communities, has unfortunately lost sight of its original essence. The platform's blatant disregard for the very communities that flourished organically is disheartening. Instead, Reddit seems solely focused on maximizing ad revenue by bombarding users with advertisements.

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If their goal were solely profitability, they would have explored alternative options, such as allowing users to contribute to the cost of their own API access. However, their true interest lies in directly targeting users for advertising, bypassing the developers who played a crucial role in fostering organic growth with their exceptional third-party applications that surpassed any first-party Reddit apps.

The recent removal of moderators who simply prioritized the desires of their communities further highlights Reddit's misguided perception of itself as the owners of these communities, despite contributing nothing more than server space. It is these reasons that compel me to revise all my comments with this message. It has been a rewarding decade-plus journey, but alas, it is time to bid farewell

[Reddit User] − NTA. You were really harsh and you could've asked her to f**k off politely; Not a good demeanour when your girlfriends mom visits for the first time. But considering she asked you to 'stop being lazy' when she knew you'd worked a night shift and wasn't really nice about it either, she's the TA.

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lucia-pacciola − NTA. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. The way I see it, if you'd been any less forceful in your response, she would have taken it as an opening to keep pestering you.. I think you went just about far enough. Your girlfriend's mom owes you an explanation and an apology.

Timmetie − NTA, Everyone here is aghast at you calling her a cunt but she called you lazy so in my eyes she started with the bad behaviour. I'm a bit baffled about the rest of the weekend though. You didn't talk things out? Your girlfriend didn't bring it up?. Because while you're completely justified I'm unsure how you're planning on continuing this relationship this way.

Chasmosaur − NTA. My older brother got married when I was 25. My parents insisted I room with my paternal grandmother at the hotel (about an hour from the house, so no one was driving back after the evening reception), totally forgetting that she snored at decibel levels that could shatter glass.

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I went to bed at a reasonable 11:45 pm, and gave up trying to sleep at around 3 am. At that point I went to the lobby and power napped sitting upright in a padded chair, where my Mom found me at 6 am. She was confused to find me there, I explained why, and she got the biggest 'Oh s**t' look on her face.

She apologized and told me I just had to make a quick appearance at the breakfast, but then I could head home early to take a long nap. Apparently Dad hadn't really noticed I'd left the hotel early until he and Mom pulled in in their respective cars and he saw mine there.

So he asked my Mom, 'How did Chas get home before us?' She said, 'Oh, I sent her home because she didn't sleep last night...' and before she could finish the sentence he literally stomped into the house and then burst into my bedroom, yelling at me because I was being rude to all the family guests by not hanging out with them, so I was just going to have to be hungover and come outside.

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Angry and startled, I yelled back at him - and just as my Mom was coming up behind him - 'You put me in the same room with Grandma, who snores loud enough to wake the dead. I was in bed before midnight and could have been awake and social this morning if you hadn't insisted I share a room with her.

But you cancelled my room reservation and pushed me in with her, meaning I couldn't sleep last night, even if I wanted to.' At that point his face changed - and my Mom was now hissing at him in the tone of voice that let him know she was REALLY pissed off - and he backed out of the room.

He was a little pissy at me for a few days because I'd dared to yell at him, but my Mom kept shutting him down. Because him jumping to me being hungover was pure projection - he'd had so...many...bourbons and was hungover himself. While I have a notoriously low alcohol tolerance, so I'd only had 1 glass of champagne as far as booze went, and drank iced tea the rest of the night.. Someone wakes you up out of a sound sleep only a few hours in, they deserve what they get.

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JustAnotherReply − Maybe abit harsh idk but this was hilarious

Reddit’s rallying behind the OP, cheering his stand against an intrusive guest while noting his language was a bit raw. Some suggest a hotel for future visits, while others see the mother’s behavior as a dealbreaker. But do these fiery takes capture the full story, or are they just fueling the drama? One thing’s clear: this sleep-disrupting saga has the internet wide awake.

This story of a night shift worker’s clash with his girlfriend’s mom shows how fast disrespect can turn rest into rage. The OP’s sharp words defended his need for sleep, but they also soured a family visit. Boundaries matter, especially when exhaustion’s in play—where’s the line between standing up and snapping? Have you ever lashed out when someone crossed your boundaries? Share your thoughts—would you have told her off or kept the peace?

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