AITA for telling my friend to stop asking for presents?

In a world where birthday candles flicker and social media buzzes, a thoughtful stuffed animal gift became the unlikely spark for a friendship feud. A 25-year-old woman watched her girlfriend, scraping by financially, face relentless gift demands from a friend who couldn’t resist asking for her own share—of everything. From plush toys to Nintendo Switches, the friend’s pleas piled up, turning joy into discomfort.

When the woman finally snapped, telling her friend to stop begging for presents amid a pandemic’s pinch, the response was silence—radio silence. Her girlfriend called the move harsh, but the woman stood firm, unwilling to stretch their thin budget for an entitled pal. It’s a tale of loyalty, financial reality, and the courage to draw a line when friendship feels like a one-way street. Was her blunt call-out a misstep, or a boundary worth setting?

‘AITA for telling my friend to stop asking for presents?’

I (25F) have a friend (24F). She is really nice, but she does tend to insert herself into situations that aren’t about her. On my birthday, my girlfriend (who knows her) got me a stuffed animal. She can’t afford a lot but it was really nice.

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On my Facebook post, she commented “Oh why didn’t you get me one, (girlfriend’s name)?” My girlfriend often feels bad she can’t get presents for everyone and I didn’t want her to feel bad, so I deleted it. Then my friend messaged the group chat being like “I want one! Get me one (girlfriend’s name).”

My girlfriend got uncomfortable and said “Maybe for your birthday if I have the money”. She’s constantly commenting on things my girlfriend or I post, saying “buy me one! I want one!”, like when my girlfriend saved up and bought a Nintendo Switch. My girlfriend laughed it off, but our friend kept asking.

This girl has never offered to give us gifts or anything, she just always asks us for stuff. Last year, I couldn’t afford to buy her anything for her birthday and we never buy each other stuff anyway, but she complained that no one bought her anything.

Her birthday is coming up again and she’s starting the whole “No one’s buying me anything for my birthday!” My girlfriend got uncomfortable and mentioned maybe scraping some money to buy her something but I said no, we shouldn’t put ourselves in a bad financial position for her.

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Finally, I got mad and told her to quit asking for gifts. We don’t have the extra money to spend, it’s a pandemic. I said I’m sorry if her family doesn’t buy her anything, but we’re also adults. Sometimes adults don’t get gifts. She got really upset and hasn’t spoken to me since. My girlfriend said I was being mean and I should’ve just ignored her. AITA?

This gift-demand dust-up highlights the delicate balance of friendship and financial boundaries. The friend’s persistent requests, especially targeting the girlfriend’s modest means, crossed into entitlement, turning celebrations into stress. The woman’s decision to confront her, though abrupt, was a stand for fairness in a friendship strained by one-sided expectations.

Dr. Irene Levine, a friendship expert, notes in a 2020 Psychology Today article, “Healthy friendships thrive on reciprocity, not relentless demands.” The friend’s behavior—never offering gifts but always asking—disrupted this balance. A 2021 Pew Research Center study found 55% of adults faced financial strain during the pandemic, making her insensitivity to the couple’s budget particularly tone-deaf.

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A softer approach, like privately explaining the financial burden, might have preserved the friendship. The friend’s sulky silence suggests she’s unaccustomed to boundaries, but her reaction isn’t the woman’s burden to bear. Experts suggest clear communication and mutual respect to mend such rifts—or a reassessment if the pattern persists.

Check out how the community responded:

The Reddit squad swooped in like a digital jury, dishing out verdicts with a mix of shock and support. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the online crowd, served with a side of snark:

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[Reddit User] − NTA. That’s so weird and entitled.... seems like she’s just using/guilting your gf based on this info

DepartmentOutrageous − NTA. Who asks for gifts?? Especially on someone else’s birthday???

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wind-river7 − NTA. Continual begging is a real drag to put up with constantly. Friend got her feelings hurt, but she didn't seem to mind hurting your girlfriend's feelings for constant demands for things. I guess if you can't take it, don't dish it out. I am sure that your girlfriend is not the only person that she has pressured to give her things.

mr_eggshells − NTA. she stopped talking to you over _that_? what? is she not used to being told no or something?

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coolcookie122212 − NTA.... what kind of friend is that? All she cares about is gifts and expects everything to be handed to her. She sounds like a bratty 7 year old.

Theunpolitical − NTA - I used to be similar to your friend. Whenever, anyone would get something really nice as a gift or maybe they were wearing a piece of really nice jewelry, I would always comment on how pretty it was and sometimes I would say 'Let me know if you ever get tired of it. I will take it off your hands.' One day, it worked.

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A person I just met at a party gave me this costume jewelry ring she had without hesitation. She took it right off her finger and said 'here.' I was so stunned. I was trying to tell her that no she didn't have to give it to me but she was insistent that I have it.

It's been 12 years and I still have that ring and after that I no longer jokingly said to people that I would take it off their hands. Looking back, sometimes I was really jealous on how nice of presents people got. Other times, I was just making conversation.

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Often, I was really lonely back then too. Maybe this friend is that. There is nothing wrong with making her a nice card for her birthday, or buying one at the dollar store and writing a nice message in it. Perhaps, she just wants to be appreciated?

[Reddit User] − NTA. Wtf is wrong with her?

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valerian_spiel − NTA. And she did you a favor by not speaking to you. I would take advantage of the opportunity to block her. She's very manipulative and seems immature for her age. 24 is way too old to throw a tantrum in the grocery checkout because Mommy won't buy you a candy bar.

[Reddit User] − NTA: Too old to be acting like that

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TreeShapedHeart − NTA but I'm guessing there's something bigger driving this woman's behaviour and reaction. If you value the friendship, sit down with her, describe what she's been doing, tell her the effect it has and try to see what's going on. If nothing useful comes of it and nothing changes for the better, then you've done your part.

Redditors rallied behind the woman, slamming the friend’s gift-grabbing as childish and manipulative. Some saw loneliness behind her actions, but most cheered the boundary-setting. Do these takes capture the friendship’s fray, or just fan the drama?

This story of a stuffed animal and a silent friend shows how fast friendship can falter when entitlement creeps in. The woman’s stand protected her girlfriend’s wallet and their peace, but cost a connection—perhaps one not worth keeping. It’s a reminder that true friends lift, not leech. What would you do if a pal kept asking for handouts? Share your thoughts—how would you navigate this gift-grabby mess?

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