AITA for telling my friend that we’re not throwing her a second bachelorette?

Lucy’s wedding was a dazzling affair, a whirlwind of love and celebration that left her bridesmaids breathless—and their wallets lighter. Picture a vibrant weekend filled with laughter, clinking glasses, and a bride glowing in her moment. But two years later, Lucy’s craving a sequel: a second bachelorette party to make up for the first one’s smaller turnout. Her friends, still dusting off financial setbacks, aren’t so keen.

The tension simmers in this cozy circle of friends, as Lucy’s dream of a lavish redo clashes with reality. With budgets tight and patience thinner, her bridesmaids face a dilemma: indulge her wishes or stand their ground? This tale of loyalty, entitlement, and tough love sets the stage for a juicy debate that’s got Reddit buzzing.

‘AITA for telling my friend that we’re not throwing her a second bachelorette?’

My friend 'Lucy' got married in late 2019. I was one of the bridesmaids, with another good friend of ours serving as MOH. There were 4 other bridesmaids as well. Early on, Lucy told us she wanted to do a girls weekend getaway for her bachelorette. At first she picked an affordable getaway but then changed her mind and picked another spot, for a longer period of time.

It was going to cost a lot of money to attend, not to mention fell during a time some had to work. The MOH and I managed to get the money and take time off work, the rest of the bridal party said that it was either take off time and spend money on the trip or the wedding.

Lucy agreed obviously the wedding was more important and just the three of us went on her bachelorette. We had a really fun time but my friend did keep saying she wished everyone else was there. Understandable. Other important factors: we all spent a decent amount of money to attend this wedding.

Lucy lives in a different state than most of her bridal party, only one bridesmaid was local to her. We were spending money on flights, Air B&Bs, the dresses, hair, nails, makeup, gifts for her, etc. Not to mention, all of us took time off work. And I don't regret it, it was a super fun wedding and I'm glad I was there to support my friend.

Shortly after she returned from her honeymoon, Lucy started hinting at a 'redo' for her bachelorette stating that it sucked not everyone came. We all said we didn't have the money or the PTO at the moment. Myself and the other bridesmaids-in private-at various points agreed we really had no desire to throw her a second bachelorette.

The topic was dropped for a bit when everything happened around the world, but occasionally, Lucy would bring up that we needed to have that bachelorette once everything cooled down. We all just ignored it. Things are doing better now, all of us are completely vac'd. This time, the MOH ended up contacting us, wanting to set up a second bachelorette.

All of us were honest, most of us are recovering financially from the past couple of years (two girls lost their jobs, my husband lost his so I was the sole breadwinner for awhile, we're just now recovering from all of that) and given how much we already spent on the wedding, it's just not practical for us to throw her a second.

We said maybe we could all have a smaller reunion in 2022 but nothing like she desires (she wanted us to go back to the same expensive spot). I guess MOH reported this to Lucy, who shared she was really disappointed that she didn't get a 'proper bachelorette' even though she's been married now for 2 years.

ADVERTISEMENT

I told her that she was being a little greedy. She had a fabulous wedding, bachelorette party, bridal shower and engagement celebration (not all of us attended all events, but they were still thrown). At this point, we don't owe her another lavish trip.. She and the MOH are upset with us, saying we're making Lucy out to be a burden. AITA?

Lucy’s push for a second bachelorette party feels like a bride’s dream stuck on repeat, but it’s stirring up real tension among friends. The core issue? Her expectation that others fund her fantasy redo, despite their financial struggles, screams entitlement. Lucy’s likely chasing the “perfect” memory, but her friends, drained from the first round, see it as a step too far. Meanwhile, the maid of honor’s support risks enabling this overreach, creating a rift in the group.

ADVERTISEMENT

This situation reflects a broader issue: the pressure of wedding culture. According to a 2023 study by The Knot, bridesmaids spend an average of $1,900 on wedding-related expenses, from dresses to travel. When brides demand more—like Lucy’s redo—it can strain friendships, especially post-pandemic when many are financially recovering. The expectation of lavish celebrations often overshadows mutual respect.

Dr. Irene S. Levine, a psychologist and friendship expert, notes, “Friendships thrive on reciprocity, not one-sided demands” (source: Psychology Today, 2019). Lucy’s insistence ignores her friends’ sacrifices, framing their efforts as inadequate. Her focus on a “proper” bachelorette dismisses the love shown at her wedding, risking alienation.

ADVERTISEMENT

For solutions, open communication is key. Lucy’s friends could propose a budget-friendly gathering, like a local girls’ night, to honor the bond without breaking the bank. Lucy should also reflect on her priorities—friendship over Instagram-worthy moments. Setting boundaries, as the OP did, is healthy, but delivering it with empathy could soften the blow and preserve the connection.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit didn’t hold back on this one, serving up a spicy mix of shade and wisdom. Here’s what the community had to say about Lucy’s bachelorette redo drama:

ADVERTISEMENT

MotherOfCrotchFruit − NTA Lucy is ridiculously entitled. She already had a free vacation weekend (bachelorette #1) and a wedding and a honeymoon. If she wants a girls weekend with friends she can pay her fair share

lassmanac − NTA. I thought the bridezilla things stopped after the wedding.. 'My first bachelorette party wasn't fun enough so you have to give me another one?' Translation: 'I want a girls weekend, get trashed, do stupid s**t, and I don't want to pay for anything myself. Spoil me again because my marriage is emptier than I thought it would be.'

hibbletyjibblety − NTA. Lucy IS being a burden, by repeatedly making requests that are burdensome. None of you are in a position to do this, and it is unreasonable to have that expectation put upon you. A bachelorette party is not something anyone is entitled to,

ADVERTISEMENT

and a “do-over” is a really unkind message to be sending to those few who made a lot of sacrifices to be with her the first time around. You and your other friends have real obligations that take priority over Lucy’s imagined party.

[Reddit User] − NTA Sorry, she's been married for 2 years, her bachelorette party was two years ago. She doesn't get a do over and ask people to spend time and money for her vanity weekend .

cynwil710 − NTA. What kind of bride wants a bachelorette AFTER the wedding, and a second one at that?? Why wouldn’t she call it a “girls weekend” with friends? She’s the AH here.

ADVERTISEMENT

GrymDraig − NTA. Lucy is acting super entitled and greedy, and the maid of honor is enabling her behavior. You don't owe her anything else -- including your continued friendship if she keeps acting like this.

Andle_Randle − NTA. It was her own choice to have a bachelorette party that was financially inaccessible to several people she wanted there. Trying again isn't going to fix anything, especially considering several more of you can't afford it.

the_orig_princess − NTA if it mattered so much to have everyone there, she should have picked a place/time/budget that worked for everyone. She chose location over people, it is what it is.. And no one gets do-over bach. She can plan (and host!) a landmark birthday. She’s being ridiculous and out of touch. Especially considering she got lucky and had a bach & wedding right before everyone else’s were shut down.

ADVERTISEMENT

frankthedoor − NTA. You all pitched in a lot and she just wants another Bachelorette party without paying for it all? If she wants a second one, then she can pay for everyone.

erstwhile02 − NTA. Lucy and her MOH seem a little out of touch with reality. If you can't make the numbers work, you can't make the numbers work. And even if you did have the extra time and money, it would be more appropriate to call it a girl's trip. Not Bachelorette 2.0.

These hot takes are classic Reddit—blunt, witty, and maybe a touch dramatic. But do they nail the heart of the issue, or are they just fanning the flames?

ADVERTISEMENT

Lucy’s story is a reminder that friendships, like weddings, need balance to sparkle. Her bridesmaids showed up big for her big day, but her push for a bachelorette encore feels like a party no one RSVP’d for. It’s a tale of loyalty tested by entitlement, leaving us wondering where to draw the line. What would you do if a friend asked for a lavish redo you couldn’t afford? Share your thoughts—let’s keep this convo as lively as a wedding dance floor!

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *