AITA for telling my friend that it’s a horrible idea for them to go into vet tech?

During a casual Thanksgiving dinner with friends, one college student shared exciting news about switching majors to Veterinary Technology. Another friend, inspired by loving animals, immediately asked if she should pursue the same path. Drawing from years of knowing her friend’s extreme sensitivity to anything messy—like blood, feces, or urine—the student gently cautioned that the job involves plenty of gross situations.

The response? Accusations of being mean and “crushing a lifelong dream.” The rest of the group piled on, leaving the honest friend confused and hurt. This lighthearted career chat quickly exposed how differently people handle blunt truths about challenging professions.

‘AITA for telling my friend that it’s a horrible idea for them to go into vet tech?’

A simple dinner conversation about college majors took an unexpected turn.

So I was out for dinner with some friends over Thanksgiving break, and we were all talking about how the semester has been for us so far. I mentioned that...

and that I'd be starting classes the next semester. My friend perked up and said "I love animals and I really think I'd be good at vet tech! Should I...

Knowing her friend’s strong aversion to mess, the poster offered a realistic warning.

And having known this friend for years, there are an assortment of reasons as to why I think they shouldn't. The main one being: they cannot stand the idea of...

And when I say can't stand I mean they start screaming and crying, have to put what they're doing down IMMEDIATELY to wash up. That's not inherently a bad thing!

But that doesn't really synergize too well with a career where you have to shove your whole arm up a cows a__s. Even if you're doing companion animals, they still...

The gentle reality check was met with backlash instead of gratitude.

When I pointed this out (in a much less graphic fashion because we were eating and I'm not absolutely insane) all of my friends started saying that I was so...

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And the friend who asked is also upset at me for saying that. I'm confused that they're mad at me, not for pointing out that it can get g__esome while...

What I said when they asked was "well its certainly not a career choice for those with a weak stomach, you will come in contact with gross situations.". So AITA...

Veterinary technology attracts many animal lovers, but the reality involves intense physical, emotional, and often unpleasant tasks that quickly weed out those unprepared. Handling bodily fluids, restraining aggressive animals, assisting in euthanasia, and dealing with grieving owners are daily realities—not occasional exceptions.

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Some argue that discouraging anyone from a career they’re excited about is unnecessarily negative, especially if the interest is new. What makes this tricky is the timing: the “dream” emerged spontaneously during conversation, yet was instantly labeled “lifelong” when challenged.

From a broader perspective, honest feedback from friends serves as a valuable filter before investing time and money in education. Veterinary fields already suffer high burnout and dropout rates; gentle truth-telling early on prevents greater disappointment later. Encouraging someone into a poor fit out of politeness does no favors—it’s kinder to highlight mismatches upfront.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Many users laughed at the exaggeration of a “lifelong dream” that lasted mere minutes.

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Appropriate_Map2685 − NTA . She seized on it as a possible career when you mentioned it at dinner? Doesn't sound like a "lifelong dream", more like a "passing fancy. "

Significant-Arm-4199 − A friend of mine from high school wanted to be a vet tech. She applied for an OJT program and was sent to observe at a local clinic...

First day, they had to euthanize a kitten.   She did not end up becoming a vet tech. NTA. Better for them to know early!

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Dittoheadforever − You're NTA My friend perked up and said "I love animals and I really think I'd be good at vet tech! Should I do it? " but they're...

You made a comment about your major, she wondered if she would be a fit for it, asked your opinion... and you "crushed a lifelong dream" when you said you...

What a short lifelong dream that sounds like it occurred over about 2 minutes.   Are your friends always this ridiculously theatrical?

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Oona22 − how does a random query at dinner about something she had obviously not considered hard enough to apply for become "a lifelong dream"? ?

Not sure how you worded it o maybe it came across more harshly than intended, but "I don't think it's for you, actually" is far from an AH stance. NTA....

k-squid − NTA. How dramatic of your friends. "Crushing her lifelong dreams" over a career she JUST thought of because it came up in conversation?

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Absurd. If she can't so much as handle getting a little bit of poop or blood on her hand without freaking out, she isn't suited for a number of professions....

But there's also nothing wrong with pointing out a very realistic obstacle for her in this field she is briefly considering entering.

Better she find out now than pay to go to school only to drop out the second she realizes she's going to need to put her arm up a cow's...

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No one cried abuse when my mom told me I'd have to put a thermometer it a cat or dog's a__s and it grossed me out to the point where...

CatLordCayenne − Crushed her dreams that she dreamt up 10 seconds ago

Several shared real experiences from the veterinary world to back the warning.

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Sneaky_Clepshydra − NTA. Your friends should be able to take the truth when asking for it. If I met a 5 yr old who wanted to be the king of...

I’d agree and wish them luck. But if my adult friend with claustrophobia wants to be an underwater welder, I’m going to shoot it down.

We need to be able to hear that we’ve made a poor choice in our thinking and the friends we have chosen are the right people to do that.

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MamaFen − NTA. Vet tech here, and yes, arm up the cow's southern end is just the beginning. Everyone wants "to be a vet and help all the cute puppies...

how long the school/training is, and how insane the emotional rollercoaster is. Wait til she has to saw the head off a dog or cat and ship it out for...

Or pluck the maggots out of a Chow-Chow's infected and bleeding flanks while the dog is doing its best to rip her face off,

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(and the owner is too busy posting selfies online to even pay attention to the matted fur and clumping fecal matter that caused the injury in the first place). Or...

It's not for the faint of heart and if she's SO offended by you "crushing her dreams" then she's gonna need a much thicker skin for when a grieving client...

Others emphasized the value of honest feedback when asked.

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OhGirlyOh − NTA My best friend was a vet tech and burned out after five years. She went to school to become a lab tech, processing laboratory tests for veterinary...

She said that it significantly changed her life for the better. Dealing with pet parents and their emotions and money issues was too much for her in the long run.

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eileen404 − If someone who hates math and details asks my opinion on being a chemist I'll tell them there are better ideas.

If you can't handle poop and pee and blood, vet tech, nurse etc are poor choices. It's like someone who hates public speaking wanting to be a trial lawyer. They...

The community firmly agreed the poster is not the asshole—delivering a mild, factual warning when directly asked is far from dream-crushing. Most found the “lifelong dream” label comical given its sudden appearance, and many stressed that sparing feelings now could lead to wasted time and money later.

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Have you ever given a friend honest advice about a career choice they weren’t suited for—how did they take it? When someone asks “Should I do this?” do you think they truly want the unfiltered truth, or just encouragement?

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