AITA for telling my friend I can’t take “newborn” photos of her baby because it’s too old now?

A photographer specializing in newborn photography sparks tension with a friend after declining to perform a newborn photo shoot for her 3-week-old baby, citing safety risks with posing older infants. Despite offering a free family and 1-month mini-session as an alternative, the friend insists on the promised newborn poses, escalating their disagreement.

This Reddit story captures the friction between professional standards and personal expectations in a close friendship. It highlights the challenge of balancing infant safety with a new mother’s emotional attachment to milestone photos, resonating with those navigating professional and personal boundaries.

‘AITA for telling my friend I can’t take “newborn” photos of her baby because it’s too old now?’

I do photography as a side business, because I have a 9-5 I do it mostly on the weekends, and usually my clients are friends and family or were recommended to me by friends or family. My specialty is newborn babies, but I happily photograph kids and babies of any age.

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However; newborn photo shoots have to be done in the first 7-10 days, babies older than that fight the poses too much for it to be done safely, and I refuse to do anything that could hurt the baby. One of my good friends had a baby 3 weeks ago. At her baby shower in January, I gave her a cute little coupon for a free newborn shoot.

This wasn’t part of her gift but rather a friendly gesture since it’s her first baby, and I had done the same thing for her sister a few years ago. When the baby was born, congratulated her, and asked her when she wanted me to take the pictures. She never answered me until a couple days ago and asked if next weekend was okay.

I took a little while to think of a response and ended up calling her to explain that the baby is too old now to safely do a newborn shoot, but that I would be happy to come and take some family photos, and maybe do a 1 month mini session with a couple cute outfits.

She complained that I should still do the newborn poses since that’s what I told her I would do before the baby was born, and that she wanted pictures of her baby like I took of her sisters baby. I said again that I wasn’t comfortable doing something that wouldn’t be safe for the baby;

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and that I took the pictures of her sisters baby when it was 4 days old, not 4 weeks old, that the situation would be different if the baby was still actually a newborn.. So AITA for not doing a newborn photo shoot with a baby that’s too old?

The photographer’s refusal to perform a newborn shoot for a 3-week-old baby prioritizes infant safety, as poses are only safe within 7-10 days. Her offer of alternative sessions shows a fair compromise, but the friend’s insistence on unsafe poses reflects a misunderstanding of professional limits.

The friend’s delayed response, likely due to new-mom challenges, fueled her emotional reaction. However, the photographer’s outreach at birth and clear explanation demonstrate due diligence.

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Photography safety standards demand avoiding risky poses, and the photographer’s stance protects the baby and her integrity. The friend’s frustration doesn’t outweigh safety concerns. The photographer should restate safety issues calmly, emphasizing the alternative shoot’s value. The friend should accept the offer, and future coupons should specify the 7-10 day window.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit users support the photographer, commending her focus on baby safety and viewing her offer of a free family and 1-month session as generous. They argue the friend’s delay missed the newborn window, making her demand for unsafe poses unreasonable.

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Commenters recognize the friend’s new-mom struggles but stress that safety comes first. They suggest clarifying time limits in future offers and encourage the friend to accept the alternative shoot to resolve the conflict.

hashtagidontknow − NTA. There is a certain window to take newborn pictures and she missed that window. A one month shoot or lifestyle shoot would be a great compromise, but it sounds like she doesn’t want to accept that she waited too long. Did you put anything on the coupon that explained the ideal day range? Some people don’t realize it is so short.

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offgomi − NAH, she’s a new mom who didn’t prioritize getting these done right away (could be for a million reasons, lots of them valid) and you’re a professional who knows the limits of what you can and can’t do. I can understand her being disappointed, but at the end of the day, she didn’t do it in time.

PlatinumHumingbird − INFO did at any point you specify she had to book and take the photos within a certain time frame? The first few weeks can be especially rough and a whirlwind when you have a baby and she might only just be feeling like she's getting back on her feet and not even realised how time has gone.

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RidingTheShortBus74 − INFO: Why are 'newborn' shots after 10 days dangerous?

suedesparklenope − NTA Baby safety Mommy’s feelings. And you’re still offering a free service! In the future I might clarify ahead of time what the timeline for newborn shoots is… but that’s a courtesy, not a necessity.. She sounds entitled and more concerned with images than behbe’s safety.

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Jemma_2 − INFO: Why is it unsafe? Genuinely asking as I don’t know!

Familiar_Season8438 − Info: was she actually specifically demanding these particular dangerous poses? Or did you get stuck on the verbiage of it not being what you'd call a 'newborn' shoot? I can absolutely see a new mom getting distraught when you rejected her request by framing it as her new baby isn't a 'newborn' anymore and then her getting stubborn about it

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and focusing on what you're telling her she can't have. I doubt there would have been any drama at all if you'd simply said sounds good let's do the newborn shoot and then either listed the poses you would be doing or just having done the poses you were comfortable with. To me all of this just sounds like everyone getting caught up in verbiage instead of the

spirit of what was being done Maybe I'm wrong and she specifically was outwardly saying she wants you to do x and y poses at the shoot which you can't do but if not I think you fell into the trap of putting your professional verbiage on a lay person and she is upset because she thinks you're telling her something completely different.

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iolaus79 − NTA - you still offered a photo sessions However in the future if you do the same, then I think you should mention that a newborn shoot should be within X days, otherwise it's a standard baby photo session, they will still get gorgeous photos of their baby but they won't be the curled up posed ones

SpicyMargarita143 − NAH. She wants pictures of her newborn. To her - that’s a newborn shoot. Just go and take the pics that you can.

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[Reddit User] − INFO: Did you tell her that there was a time constraint? Because I think most people would still consider a 3 week old a newborn. I can't really blame her for not prioritizing a photoshoot for the first three weeks of this baby's life if she didn't know.

This compelling story of a photographer refusing a newborn shoot for an older baby underscores the tension between professional standards and personal expectations. Her safety-driven decision highlights the importance of clear communication in friendships. Share your thoughts below and let’s unpack this photo shoot drama.

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