AITA for telling my fiancé that I paid for “our” car so I get priority when we both need it?

The hum of a car engine can feel like freedom—unless your fiancé’s holding the keys. For one woman, a leg injury turned a routine doctor’s visit into a grueling hour-long limp, all because her fiancé refused to let her use “their” car. She paid for most of it—$11k of the $12k price tag—yet he treats it like his own, even keeping the keys. His excuse? He didn’t want to take the bus.

Her pain worsened, and so did her frustration, sparking a fiery demand: as the car’s primary owner, she gets priority when they both need it. Now, with the keys back on a nail and her fiancé fuming, she’s left wondering if she’s the bad guy. This Reddit tale peels back the layers of fairness, love, and respect—or lack thereof—in a relationship teetering on a single set of car keys.

‘AITA for telling my fiancé that I paid for “our” car so I get priority when we both need it?’

I have a leg injury and had a doctor's appointment to get it looked at earlier today. I wanted to drive there, but my fiancé refused to let me use the car as it'd force him to commute to work by bus. I work from home and he doesn't, plus the doc's office is a ~30 min walk away, so I relented and let him drive to work this morning.

As it turns out, I greatly misjudged how hard it would be to actually walk on my injured leg. It took me well over 1h to limp to the doc's office, and I was lucky he accepted to see me despite being very late. When he heard I walked there, the doc scolded me. Walking so much made the pain much worse and worsened my condition. I decided to get a Uber home.

The car that me and my fiancé use is mine, I bought it when we were just dating so I paid for it almost entirely myself. My fiancé only pitched in during the last few months of repaying the loan - out of $12k, he paid maybe $1k and I paid the rest. He used to have his own car, but it died about a year back.

We didn't replace it because my workplace is on the way to his, so our routine became that we'd commute together and he'd drop me off at work then drive to his work every day. Then the you-know-what hit and I transitioned to working from home, so my fiancé is the only one using the car since March.

He acts like he owns it, to the point he keeps the car keys on his key ring and I have to *ask him for the keys* when I want to drive somewhere. Today, I asked him to pay me back for the Uber ride. My thinking is that I wouldn't have bought it if I could have driven my own car, but I couldn't since HE refused to let me have it for the day.

He could have commuted by bus (he did that plenty of times in the past, never was a problem) and he doesn't have a leg injury. He refused, saying that taking a Uber was my 'choice.' I don't know if that's the leg pain or what, but I blew up and reminded him that it's MY car, and that I had the worst freaking day because he acts like it's HIS.

I said that in the future, when we both need the car, I get it and he finds an alternative mode of transportation, end of the discussion. I also demanded that he takes MY car's keys off his ring and hangs them on a nail by the door - because I'm sick of having to beg him every time I want to use it.

He drives it more often than I do so he is still allowed to grab the keys whenever he needs them (unless I need them at the same time) without my permission, but I wanted to drive home the point that the car is NOT his. Does that make me an a**hole?

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Relationships thrive on give-and-take, but this car clash shows what happens when one side takes too much. The woman, hobbled by a leg injury, faced a painful trek to the doctor because her fiancé prioritized his commute over her health. Her demand for car priority, as its primary buyer, isn’t just about ownership—it’s about respect.

Dr. John Gottman, a relationship expert, says, “Partners who prioritize each other’s needs build stronger bonds.” The fiancé’s refusal to take the bus, despite her injury, signals a lack of empathy, especially since she paid $11k of the car’s $12k cost. His habit of keeping the keys and acting like the car is his suggests entitlement, ignoring her contribution and current needs.

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This reflects a broader issue: unequal dynamics in shared responsibilities. Studies show 65% of couples argue over household assets when contributions aren’t equal, often eroding trust. The woman’s outburst, while heated, stems from frustration at being dismissed—having to beg for her own car’s keys feels like a power imbalance, not partnership.

Dr. Gottman suggests addressing such conflicts with calm, structured talks. The woman could say, “I feel sidelined when I can’t use my car for medical needs.” Proposing a schedule—her priority for health-related trips, his for work—could balance things. Couples counseling might help them navigate fairness and empathy. She should also acknowledge his bus commute isn’t ideal but stress her injury trumps convenience.

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Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit came through with a mix of outrage and practical tips, serving up some spicy takes on this car drama. Here’s what they said:

[Reddit User] − NTA. Making you walk that far on an injured leg is a d\*ck move and him telling you that was 'your choice' is even worse. It's your car. Him helping make payments is the least he can do as a courtesy for using your car. The fact that he's been the only one driving it for several months is irrelevant.

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Honestly even the fact that you've paid for most of it is irrelevant. You needed it to go to a doctor's appointment for a LEG injury and he made you walk. That's such a f\*cked up thing to do to someone you supposedly 'love' enough to marry...

lightwoodorchestra − NTA, good god. This a**hole insisted you walk quite a distance on your *injured leg* so he wouldn't have to take the bus? Even if you had both contributed equally to the car, that would be an a**hole move. And it is extremely obnoxious that he's starting acting like the car is his because he's driving it more. This guy is extremely selfish. I hope the wedding isn't soon.

raptorgrin − NTA. Does he even care about your injury??

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B4pangea − NTA. That he left you to WALK to a Dr’s appointment on an injured leg so that he would not have to take the bus is inexcusably selfish. At some point you might be able to work out some sort of reasonable and equal arrangement according to need, but at the moment, I agree, he has internalized the idea that the car is HIS and needs a dose of reality.

INFO: what was his response to learning the Dr. had scolded you for walking all that way? That should have been a clue you were in no shape to walk that distance. Frankly, I’d expect him to rightfully feel pretty s**tty about that.

jessay3 − nta you have a leg INJURY. but also why couldnt you just drop him off at work and then picked him up after

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05632054 − NTA. He’s being incredibly selfish; does he even care that you’re injured? I’m genuinely asking because he doesn’t seem to, and it’s very concerning

[Reddit User] − NTA doesnt sound like the most healthiest conversation ever tough. If you have talks like that more often, you need to change something.

PerfectChemical − NTA, but if he's willing to let you walk to a doctor's office that's 30 mins away on a b** leg, i'd start to look a bit deeper at my relationship.

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almightydaredevil − I don’t wanna say that you should necessarily always get priority, but this whole situation just seems so out of whack to me? Like he knew that you had a doctors appointment for a leg injury, and yet he couldn’t give up the car for you, his fiancée, because he didn’t want to take the bus? NTA for this because I think what he did was completely unfair.

slfcarex2 − NTA. It’s concerning that your boyfriend doesn’t seem to care at all about your injury.

These Redditors are fired up, but do their reactions miss the deeper relationship cracks?

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This woman’s fight for her car keys is more than a turf war—it’s a cry for respect in a lopsided partnership. Her fiancé’s refusal to prioritize her injury over his commute reveals a crack in their bond, and her stand as the car’s owner draws a line in the sand. What would you do when fairness feels out of reach in love? Share your thoughts or stories below—how do you navigate shared responsibilities with a partner?

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