AITA for telling my father I was angry with him after he gave my little sister a daddy-daughter day on a day he was supposed to be there for me?

The stage lights glowed, and a 15-year-old violinist stood ready, heart racing with pride for her orchestra concert—a moment she’d hyped up for months. She scanned the crowd for her dad, clinging to his promise to be there, only to get a last-second text that crushed her hopes. Worse? He wasn’t stuck in traffic—he was off playing super-dad to her younger sister. That sting of betrayal? It’s what turned a night of music into a symphony of hurt.

Family ties can tug hard, especially when parents split time between kids. This teen’s anger wasn’t just about a missed concert; it was about feeling like second fiddle in her dad’s world. Readers might feel her disappointment echo in their own lives—when someone you count on lets you down, how do you strike the right chord in response?

‘AITA for telling my father I was angry with him after he gave my little sister a daddy-daughter day on a day he was supposed to be there for me?’

For context, my (15f) parents are no longer together and my dad lives a good 40 minutes away, my little sister and I have different moms and my dad is no longer with her mom my dad had her for her spring break last week. I'm in an orchestra and last week we had a concert, I had been talking about this concert for months and my dad (44) said he would make it.

Five minutes before I was supposed to go on stage he texted me saying that he couldn't make it to my concert i was disappointed but just thought that it was due to traffic. He got to take me for the weekend and on the car ride over there ( I was with my stepmother) my little sister said she and my dad had a daddy-daughter day the same day I had my performance.

I was so angry to hear he canceled on me for my younger sister. I talked with him later when I saw him and he asked why I was getting so worked up over nothing, I told him of course I was angry he looked dumbfounded and told me I was being bratty that he missed one day of my life( he missed many days just saying) and said I was angry over nothing.The more I think about it the more I feel like I am a brat but I don't know AITA

UPDATE!! After talking with my friend about it she said I should confront him because that's no way to treat your oldest daughter. I still haven't told my mom about this whole thing because I feel like she would over react but I don't know can I get some help here?

Missing a kid’s big moment stings, and this teen’s story shows how deep that cut goes. She spent months prepping for her concert, banking on her dad’s promise to show up. Learning he chose a “daddy-daughter day” with her half-sister instead? That’s not just a scheduling slip—it’s a gut punch. His dismissal, calling her “bratty,” only poured salt in the wound, making her question her own feelings.

Her anger makes sense: she feels sidelined. Dad might argue he’s juggling two kids with different needs, and a special day with his younger daughter felt urgent. But prioritizing one child’s casual outing over another’s milestone risks resentment. A 2023 study in Child Development found consistent parental support boosts teens’ self-esteem ( src: wiley.com). Skipping her concert sent the opposite message.

Dr. Lisa Damour, a teen psychology expert, says, “When parents validate teens’ emotions, they build trust”. Here, dad’s brush-off missed that mark. Acknowledging her hurt could’ve bridged the gap. Instead, he deflected, leaving her isolated. His pattern of absence—hinted at by her “many days” comment—suggests a bigger issue.

For solutions, she could share her feelings calmly, maybe in a letter, to avoid defensiveness. Dad needs to balance time better—scheduling sister’s day around her concert was doable. Open talks could rebuild trust. Readers, how do you handle a parent who drops the ball—call it out or let it slide?

See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit jumped into this one like it was their own family drama, serving up takes that range from fiery to heartfelt. Here’s what they tossed into the mix:

DMCanuck − NTA. This was an event he knew about way in advance and it’s not something that you can reschedule around his availability. He could do a daddy daughter day any of his days. I would be upset too if I was you. He’s trying to act like he didn’t over commit his time and fail to deliver on a commitment to you.

Efficient_Wheel_6333 − NTA. Unless he was in the hospital or some other emergency situation happened where he couldn't make it, there is no excuse for him to promise to come to your concert and then not show up because he decided to give your little sister a last-minute daddy-daughter day.

Old_Beach2325 − NTA or the brat. Your dad lied to you by saying he would be there. Then he didn’t tell you he wasn’t coming until five minutes before show time cause he’s a c**ard (didn’t want you to call to find out why I’m sure). He belittled your accomplishment (your concert).

And then had the nerve to call you names when you weren’t totally fine about him missing your concert?! Nope. I’d ask him “if you’re not there for my smaller accomplishments what makes you think I’d want you there for the bigger ones when I’m older?”

Richbeyondmeasure − NTA. My child is 35. Do you know where I'm going this weekend? To watch them perform. You show up for your kids accomplishments. Period.

mifflewhat − NTA. It's normal to be angry and disappointed when someone does something like that to you. It's easy to see why your father can't seem to stay in a relationship, he doesn't know how to treat people and doesn't seem to care.

Ace_boy08 − NTA. why I was getting so worked up over nothing, It's not nothing, it was a really important event for you. Your father calling it nothing is so heartbreaking. Something you are passionate about, talented, and proud of is nothing to him.. He missed an important event that meant a lot to you and doesn't care.

Told me I was being bratty that he missed one day of my life( he missed many days just saying). Call him out. He didn't miss one day. He missed many days that were important for you. He is not there for you. He is a pretty bad father. Keep receipts of all the events that he has missed. Tell him all the events he has missed when he denies it.

He will have nothing to say. You are not a brat, and missing an important event is not nothing. He has shown you countless of times that you are not his priority, he doesn't care that he missed it, doesn't care if he hurts you and he causally dismisses and attacks you by being rightfully upset and calling him out.

PolloAzteca_nobeans − NTA. My dad started this way and eventually chose his “second family” over me and my sister. Stop inviting him. Stop expecting him to show up. He will get the hint and take initiative or he wont. Either way, its his loss. Not yours. I’m very sorry hun ❤️

Vivid_Wings − NTA, he could have scheduled his time with his younger daughter around your performance, which he knew about beforehand.

Constant_Gold9152 − So he. 1. Didn’t honor his commitment. 2. Gaslights you to believe your emotions are out of line. 3. Didn’t even tell you he was bailing until you are about to go on?. NTA. But he is!. And you are always entitled to your emotions!

Waste-Dragonfly-3245 − NTA. Your father sucks. He’s prioritising your sister and treating you terribly

These Redditors are all in, but do their cheers and jeers catch the full tune of this story? There might be a few notes they missed.

This teen’s clash with her dad wasn’t about one missed concert—it was about feeling seen in a family stretched thin. His choice to prioritize her sister and dismiss her hurt struck a sour chord, but her courage to speak up? That’s a bold melody. Parents aren’t perfect, and kids deserve space to call out the off-key moments. If you were her, how’d you play this one out? Share your thoughts—let’s keep the conversation humming.

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