AITA for telling my father he will die without my forgiveness and the world would be a better place without him?

Imagine a young heart, barely a teen, trembling with hope as they dial a stranger’s number—their father—only to be met with a storm of shouts, blaming them for a life upended. This Reddit user’s tale begins in a whirlwind of betrayal: a father who lied to their 21-year-old mother, claiming widower status, only to vanish when pregnancy news hit, hiding behind an existing marriage. A childhood of meager support and silence from a wealthy dad left scars, deepened by hostile half-sisters and a crushing phone call.

Fast forward to age 18: a sudden birthday text from a hospital bed sparks cautious hope, only for silence to return once he’s well. Fury ignites—a fiery text declares he’ll die unforgiven, the world better off without him. Now, a mystery relative begs mercy. Readers, can you feel the sting of rejection, the weight of this choice? Let’s unravel this raw, tangled drama.

‘AITA for telling my father he will die without my forgiveness and the world would be a better place without him?’

I'm a long time reader and first-time poster, I creat this account because I don't want my main account connected to this. English isn't my first language. I've never met my father, he registered me but never wanted to meet me. When he met my mother he told her he was a widower, and they dated for a while.

My mother was 21, and when she told him she was pregnant he told her that he couldn't be a father because he was already married. When I was born my mother looked for him, and a battle started for my registration and child support. After the DNA results, he registered me and started to pay the child support, but told my mother he didn't want to meet me.

He's wealthy but paid miserable support, and I had a tough life. My mother isn't the most open person in this world, she never talked to me about him. I only knew I had 2 much older sisters (almost 20 years older than me). When I was 13 I found my sisters in social media and sent an invitation. I always thought that they didn't know how to find me, and I was really happy that I would finally meet my family.

I was wrong! They sent me horrible emails saying that I destroyed their lives. A few months after that, I received an anonymous email whit my father's address and phone number. One day I took courage and called him. When he answered the phone and I told was me he started yelling at me that I've destroyed his life, because of me he had to move to another city, and he had nothing to talk to me.

It was one of the worst days of my life. I decided I wouldn't try to contact him again. The day I turned 18 I received a text from him wishing me a happy birthday. It took me almost 24 hours to answer. Then he sent me another text telling me he was in the hospital, and when he got out he would like to meet me. He texted me a few more times, but one day he stopped to text me again.

I was a friend of his cousin, and he told me that my father was better, and he had come home. Then I understood, he thought he was going to die, so he needed my forgiveness, but when the doctors told him he was out of danger he didn't care anymore.

I sent him a text saying that he should never try to contact me again, and he will die without my forgiveness because he doesn't deserve it and that the world would be a better place without him. Then I blocked him in every social media he could find me.

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A few days ago (6 years after all this drama) I received an email from a relative (I don't know who that person is) saying that I shouldn't be so hard on him and that I don't know how much he is depressed by what happened to him, and I should just forgive him because he just wants forgiveness and not be part of my life..

So Reddit, AITA for not forgive him and say that the world would be a better place without him? TL;DR: AITA for telling the man who abandoned me and make me suffer that ill never forgive him and that the world would be a better place without him?

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Family ties can twist into knots when abandonment and guilt collide, and this Reddit user’s saga is a gut-punch. Caught between a father’s cold rejection—lying to their mother, dodging duty, and yelling at a 13-year-old—and a fleeting, self-serving reach-out during illness, the user’s anger feels raw but real. The father’s silence post-recovery screams opportunism, while half-sisters’ hostility and a relative’s plea for forgiveness muddle the mess.

This echoes a wider issue: estrangement affects over 25% of adults, per a 2021 YouGov poll (source: yougov.com), often fueled by unmet expectations and poor communication. Dr. Joshua Coleman, a psychologist specializing in family estrangement, notes in a 2023 article, “Reconciliation requires genuine accountability—acknowledging harm, making amends—not just a plea for absolution to ease guilt” (source: psychologytoday.com). Here, the father’s hospital texts hint at panic, not penance, leaving the user’s hurt unaddressed.

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What’s the path? Experts suggest boundaries: the user’s block was self-protection, not spite. Dr. Coleman’s wisdom implies forgiveness is optional—focus on healing, perhaps via therapy or support groups (see: familyestrangementsupport.com).

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Here are some hot takes from the Reddit crew—candid, fiery, and ready to rumble! The community rallied behind our wounded user, dishing out unfiltered takes on this father’s fiasco:

rekette - NTA - he sounds like he made a decision he regretted, and never took any steps to make amends but wants things to come easy to him when he doesn't deserve it. Anyway, the forgiveness should only be for you, and you alone - not because he's looking for it.

[Reddit User] - NTA. His apology isnt genuine for a start. Even if it was, you wouldn’t automatically owe him forgiveness. You can’t just abandon a child then expect them to forgive you because it will clear your conscience

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LittleNerdGirl1313 - I received an email from a relative (I don't know who that person is) saying that I shouldn't be so hard on him and that I don't know how much he is depressed by what happened to him, and I should just forgive him because he just wants forgiveness and not be part of my life.

SO based on your comments and post he received no repercussion for his infidelity, fighting on paying child support and probably encouraging his other children to bully you. And he should be forgiven because he got sick and felt guilty for a hot second, and is feeling bad for being called out for his s**t, but isn't going to do anything except have relatives guilt you into easing his guilt.... NTA, clearly. Your sperm donor can suck it

Squinky75 - NTA. <

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kimichib - Hell no you’re not the a**hole, I stopped talking to my dad for toxic reasons not half as bad. I’m so stunned he was so hurtful when you reached out, he deserves no peace or forgiveness from the pain he’s caused you and I’m sorry.

77Megg77 - NTA. I’m of the opinion that a person must earn both forgiveness and respect. This man has not earned either and you don’t need to forgive him just because he wants it.

JenAYE2 - NTA - He sounds like Manipulative, Pathetic Jerk and doesn't deserve to know the wonderful person you are.

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bugg2011 - He made his bed now he must die in it. NTA.

Pain-n-stryife - NTA No one under any circumstances is entitled to your forgiveness and the fact that he only reached out to you cause he thought he was dying shows his real colors

CandyCaboose - NTA. Tell this family member that he sucks.

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These are popular opinions on Reddit, but do they hold water? Is this dad a lost cause, or does a flicker of redemption linger?

And there we have it—a heart-wrenching clash of abandonment, anger, and a plea for peace that fell flat. Our Reddit user stood firm, denying a father forgiveness after years of silence, lies, and a half-hearted hospital reach-out. Experts nod to self-care over forced absolution, while Reddit cheers the stand. Family drama’s a messy beast—rejection stings, and guilt trips from relatives don’t help. What would you do if you faced this absent father’s plea? Share your thoughts, feelings, or own tales below—let’s untangle this emotional knot together!

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