AITA for telling my (f26) friend (f26) that her degree is useless if she has to leave the country to find work?

The clatter of lunch plates and hum of a cozy café couldn’t mask the sting of a friendship fraying at the edges. A 26-year-old mom, settled with a family, met her old high school pal, Diana, fresh from earning a Master’s in translation. Eager to catch up, she probed about Diana’s new job—only to balk when Brussels entered the chat. Her blunt verdict? That degree was a “waste” if it meant leaving home, unlike her husband’s local, no-degree paycheck.

Diana’s excitement about her EU Parliament gig clashed with the mom’s skepticism, and the conversation spiraled into a sharp exchange of barbs. Diana’s retort—hinting at her friend’s marital gripes—left the table cold and the bill split. Was the mom’s truth-telling a fair critique or a jealous jab? Let’s dig into this spicy saga of ambition and envy.

‘AITA for telling my (f26) friend (f26) that her degree is useless if she has to leave the country to find work?’

A lunch reunion turned sour when career paths collided with personal jabs. Here’s the woman’s story, straight from Reddit:

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I have a high school friend, Diana, whom recently got her Masters degree. She lived in another city and we barely ever saw each other and she was always “too busy” for long phone calls so we only talked briefly every now and then.. During the time she spent on her degrees, I managed to get married and start my own family.

Diana was visiting her family and we met up for lunch. I asked her about her degree, work prospects, etc. (She did her masters in translation or interpreting or something like that) and she said she got the job but will have to move to Brussels. I told her that’s crazy. If she can’t find a job locally, then her degree was a waste of time if she has to move to another country.

She said it’s an amazing job opportunity that she couldn’t get anywhere around here (apparently the job is related to EU parliament or whatever, I admit it, I lost her with all the abbreviations she was using).. She again said that it’s an amazing opportunity and she’s excited. I asked her about the pay and she told me.

I said that my husband earns that without a degree so I was right about the Easter of time and money, and she said it’s starting salary and it’ll grow because the first year I saw pretty much training and being in a junior position. I again said that she could’ve gotten a similar job here and wouldn’t have wasted 6 years Andy instead could’ve already work Andy start a family.

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And here’s where she was rude, she said that if she was to be as unhappy as I was, she didn’t want a family’s. She threw in my face that apparently I’m always complaining about my husband but I’m criticising her, he’s the best husband in the world..

I told her she’s ridiculous and mean and she called me an a**hole, paid and left the restaurant. I to,d my friends about this and they’re split in who’s the a**hole here so tell me, Aita for telling her the truth?

A café catch-up brewed a bitter feud when one friend’s global dreams met another’s local lens. The mom’s dismissal of Diana’s degree as “useless” for requiring a move to Brussels reeks of envy, masking her own discontent. Diana, thrilled for a prestigious EU job, faced judgment for chasing opportunity over proximity, revealing a rift in values. The mom’s comparison to her husband’s pay ignores Diana’s long-term potential.

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Career choices reflect personal priorities. A 2023 study from the Journal of Vocational Behavior found 68% of graduates relocate for specialized roles (Source). Diana’s field thrives internationally, not locally.

Psychologist Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne says, “Supporting friends’ ambitions fosters mutual growth” (Source). The mom’s criticism, fueled by her own struggles, alienated Diana. She could apologize and celebrate Diana’s path, while Diana might soften her clapback. Both need honest dialogue to salvage their bond.

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Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit’s serving a sizzling roast of this lunchroom drama, with users torching the mom’s jealousy and cheering Diana’s hustle. Here’s the community’s vibe:

EATMYNEIGHBOR − Thank f**k she's leaving the country to get away from your jealous ass. YTA.

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sparklingsour − YTA! You’re so clearly bitter and jealous of your friend’s success and it’s gross. She’s proud of her accomplishments and excited about this great opportunity (as she should be!) and you took every opportunity to tear her down.

Getting married and starting a family isn’t everyone’s end game and if it is hers, she has plenty of time to do that AND flourish in her career - she’s 26.. You’re a mean person and a bad friend. Do better.

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GlitterSparkleDevine − During the time she spent on her degrees, I managed to get married and start my own family.. Ah, another 'I became a parent and judge my non parent friends to make myself feel better' post. YTA.

[Reddit User] − YTA. Moving to another country is an exciting opportunity. Why are you raining on her parade? Neither of your life choices are bad ones. She clapped back at you because you were such an ass to her. You are not a very good friend. You don’t need to understand or even like her life choices in order for them to be valid.

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Daskesmoelf_8 − YTA calling it 'useless' is the most ridiculous thing ive ever heard. To work in Brussels as a translator is quite an adventure, and if you choose to get a masters degree in translation, you damn well do it to travel the world. Also, you cant even compare anything youve done to her, youre using your husband as a point to why her job sucks????

SamScoopCooper − She is moving to Brussels. That’s in Belgium. Moving to Belgium for many people is NOT a negative thing or a waste of a degree. It is seen as a very good thing.

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Especially since she’s working for the EU directly. Sure you can make the same amount as a bricklayer - but she’s going to be fulfilled while you remain jealous and without the best French fries in the world at your finger tips. So yeah, YTA.

OrangeBeef1984 − YTA - you sound insufferable and judgy af.

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Robsmom45 − YTA and you are really naive to the world. She studied languages and translation. She knew when studying this that many of the good jobs would be international. She wanted this and she worked hard for it. She doesn’t want to stay at home and work a non-college degree job. You “managed to get married and have a family”.

Being a Mom is hard work, but getting married and deciding to having kids is not difficult. She put in her time. Where you are naive is that you think comparing the pay of a non-college graduate with six years of work vs day one for a Masters degree. She will get raises and she will make more money.

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It is not a guarantee, but statistically she is likely in her lifetime to make 5 to 10 times what your husband makes in his life. I am not saying everyone has to go to College. There are great trade jobs and some people are great entrepreneurs. I am saying that she has put much more work and effort into her career choices. It is terrible of you to degrade all of her hard effort.

The_Iron_Mountie − Girl, you can barely write in your only language while her language degree is giving her the opportunity to go abroad and get paid for it.. This is one of the most 'buh buh 'Murica!' posts I have ever heard.. YTA. ETA: I assumed the spelling of 'criticize' was due to autocorrect because it featured in the same paragraph as a ton of autocorrect errors.

I acknowledge OP is probably from a country where the British spelling is used. My comment still stands - OP sounds like they've never ventured 100km out of their backyard and believes their English-speaking country is better than any other country where you have to 'degrade' yourself by speaking their language.

Yes, most people I have met with this attitude are American. And while I have met some other monolingual anglophones with the same or similar mindset, my brain, due to my own biases and generalizations, went 'Murica'. It was meant to reflect the nationalistic, podunk mentality of the post, not be a reflection of every person, American or otherwise. I'm sorry if that offended some people. It wasn't my intention.

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[Reddit User] − YTA, and I have a hard time believing you don't know it. Where did you get the idea that 'must be able to find job without moving' should be the number one factor people consider when deciding on a career? You realize there are entire degrees with highly lucrative earning potential predicated on the idea that people might *like* to travel or even relocate permanently, yes?

These Reddit zingers are sharp, but do they cut to the core of this friendship fallout? Was the mom’s shade a wake-up call or pure spite?

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This tale of a degree dissed and a friendship tested spins a web of ambition clashing with insecurity. The mom’s harsh words aimed to ground her friend but instead grounded their bond. Should she mend fences or double down? If your pal’s dreams outshone yours, how’d you keep the love alive? Drop your thoughts and let’s untangle this knot of envy and aspiration!

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