AITA for telling my ex’s new boyfriend she cheated on me with two guys while we were together?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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Picture a guy, fresh off a breakup, finally finding peace after his ex’s betrayal—until a random DM from her new boyfriend, Zach, pulls him back into the chaos. At 25, he’s moved on from “K,” who cheated on him during a Tulum “girls trip,” but now Zach’s asking if she was faithful. With a deep breath, he spills the truth, only to get a fiery text from K accusing him of sabotage. Readers, this Reddit tale of honesty and ex-drama is juicy yet relatable.

The sting of K’s cheating—once with a “brother-like” yoga pal, once with a moonlit beach stranger—still lingers, but he kept his response to Zach calm and factual. Now, K’s painting him as the villain. Did he overstep, or was he just answering a question? Let’s dive into this story and the Reddit buzz it ignited.

‘aita for telling my ex’s new boyfriend she cheated on me with two guys while we were together?’

so i (25m) dated “k” (27f) for about 1.5 years. we lived together, had joint savings, the whole domestic starter pack. i really thought we were in it for the long haul. then she went on a “girls trip” to tulum. came back a week later looking like she saw the ghost of morality.

sat me down and said she “needed to be honest.”. turns out she cheated. twice. once with some guy from her yoga class she said was “like a brother,” and once with a guy she met on the beach and “connected with under the moonlight.”. i moved out the next day. blocked her. went full monk mode.

anyway, fast forward a few months. i get a dm from this guy, we’ll call him zach. zach is her new boyfriend. he’s all, “hey man, hope this isn’t weird, but i know you used to date k, and i just wanted to ask if she was faithful to you? she says you were emotionally distant and kind of checked out.”. first off: lol.

second: i sat with it. i didn’t respond for a few hours. but then i figured… if he’s asking, he probably already knows something’s off. so i told him the truth. i said: “she cheated on me twice, once with someone she told me not to worry about, and once with a random on vacation.

you can believe what you want, but that’s what happened. good luck.”. no insults. no bitterness. just the facts.. he read it. no reply. then she texts me: “i can’t believe you’re still trying to ruin my life. that was so inappropriate.

i thought you were better than this.”. so now i’m wondering… did i cross a line? i wasn’t trying to sabotage anything. he literally asked. i gave a calm, honest answer. but apparently, i’m the villain in her healing journey now.. aita?

Talk about a plot twist: a new boyfriend digging into his girlfriend’s past, and our guy delivering the unfiltered truth. K’s cheating shattered their shared life, and now her accusation of “ruining” her life reeks of deflection. Let’s unpack this with a relationship expert’s lens.

The OP’s honesty was a direct response to Zach’s question, not a vendetta. K’s anger suggests she’s dodging accountability, a common cheater’s tactic. As Psychology Today explains, infidelity often stems from self-justification, and K’s blaming the OP fits this pattern. Her claim of him being “emotionally distant” feels like a rewrite to dodge her actions.

This ties to a bigger issue: transparency in relationships. A 2022 study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found 70% of couples value honesty about past infidelity to build trust. Dr. Shirley Glass, a noted infidelity expert, said, “Secrets erode trust; truth, even when painful, fosters growth” (Not Just Friends). The OP’s candidness could help Zach make informed choices.

For advice, the OP should stand firm, maybe replying to K: “He asked, I answered. Focus on your actions, not mine.” Blocking her again keeps his peace. Zach, if suspicious, might benefit from a direct talk with K

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit rolled in like a truth squad, cheering the OP’s honesty with a side of snark. It’s like a bar chat where everyone’s got his back, tossing out quips and bro-code vibes. Here’s the raw scoop:

prumishon − NTA you didn't sign an nda when you broke up. You owe her nothing and an honest and faithful man asked you point blank. You told the truth and were very fair with your response.

JoJoTrash1 − OP, NTA. You did good by warning the poor guy. He asked you, and you were honest. I know in his mind he's thanking you for telling him the truth. Let your ex get mad. I hope her new bf dumps her. If she did that to you, then she'll for sure do it to him. She's an awful human being and deserves to be alone.

Key-Independence9199 − NTA. Her new boyfriend asked you and you told him what’s up. If anything she shouldn’t be a cheater.

YEGredditOilers − NTA. Your ex is learning the definition of FAFO. Literally.

NoahVail2024 − NTA. You did exactly the right thing. Her actions had consequences. Too bad for her.

Constant_Humor181 − NTA You were asked, you stated the truth. I'm sure if the sexes were reversed no one would blink an eye. Unless it's a normal thing these days, the fact the new BF reached out sounds like he had some suspicion that she had cheated on you. Probably a stuttered response to a classic 'have you ever cheated on a previous BD before' type question.

flippysquid − NTA. Cheaters don’t get to control the narrative when people talk about their s**tty behavior.

Fit_History_842 − nta. bro code ftw

rocketmn69_ − Reply to her, 'You obviously did something for him to reach out to me. Maybe you should focus on your fidelity instead of attacking me. You did enough damage to me already. Goodbye. Don't contact me again. '

No_Yogurtcloset_1687 − There's an old saying. 'The truth is an absolute defense.' You didn't publish her exploits in the New York Times or on YouTube. You were asked a question, and you answered truthfully.. She's claiming the mantle of victimhood for cheating on you and ending your relationship.

She ruined her life with you. Then, she apparently did something to make her new paramour reach out to you to get clarification. For most of us, the person ruining our life and happiness stares back at us while we brush our teeth in the mirror.

These Redditors crowned the OP a hero for warning Zach, slamming K’s victim act. Some saw her patterns repeating, others toasted his restraint. But do their cheers capture the whole story, or are they just hyping the drama? One thing’s clear: this truth bomb’s got everyone talking.

This story’s a masterclass in owning your truth without malice. The OP’s calm honesty cut through K’s narrative, but her backlash shows cheaters rarely like mirrors. Would you spill the beans if an ex’s new partner asked about their past? Share your stories and hot takes below—let’s keep this convo sizzling.

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