AITA for telling my ex’s fiancée where we got married?

Golden sunlight draped the sprawling family estate, its manicured lawns once the stage for a couple’s “I do.” Now, it’s ground zero for a modern-day drama. When a woman stopped by to pick up her son, her ex’s fiancée asked about their wedding venue, sparking a chain reaction. Her honest reply—that she wed on the family’s estate—shattered the fiancée’s trust in her future in-laws, who’d claimed the venue was off-limits. Now, with her ex fuming, she’s left wondering if truth was worth the chaos.

This tale of tangled lies and family secrets pulls us into a whirlwind of loyalty and betrayal. It’s a juicy slice of real-life drama, where one honest answer ripples through relationships, making us question: when does truth outweigh tact in a blended family’s delicate dance?

‘AITA for telling my ex’s fiancée where we got married?’

My ex and his fiancée are planning their wedding and there’s been a lot of drama because she wants to get married on their family estate but his parents are saying no. When I went to pick my son up, she asked me where we had gotten married.

She said she saw pictures from our wedding and the venue was beautiful and since she was struggling to find a venue, she was interested in using the same one. If she had seen pictures, it would’ve been very obvious to her where we got married so I didn’t want to lie.

I told her the truth, that we got married on his family’s estate. She had a huge fight with my ex’s family because they told her nobody had ever been allowed to get married on the estate, which I proved was a lie. Now my ex is angry at me for causing drama.

He thinks I should’ve lied to her because our circumstances were different which is why we got married there. According to his sister, she accused them of favouring me, trying to sabotage her wedding and wanting us to get back together.. AITA?

Telling the truth can sometimes feel like tossing a match into dry grass. In this story, the woman’s honesty about her wedding venue exposed a family’s deception, sparking a fiery dispute. According to Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, “Trust is built in very small moments,” but lies, even small ones, erode it . The ex’s family’s decision to mislead the fiancée about the estate’s availability suggests deeper issues of control or favoritism, leaving her to question their intentions.

The woman faced a dilemma: lie to protect family harmony or reveal a truth that could empower the fiancée. By choosing honesty, she challenged the family’s narrative, though it came at the cost of drama. This reflects a broader issue—53% of people admit to lying to avoid conflict, yet transparency often fosters healthier relationships (Psychology Today). The ex’s anger seems less about her actions and more about his family’s exposed deceit.

Dr. Gottman’s advice to “turn toward” conflict with open communication applies here. The woman could maintain her stance by calmly explaining her intent was honesty, not sabotage. For readers, this story underscores the value of truth in relationships, even when it’s messy. Setting boundaries, like limiting involvement in their drama, can protect her peace while encouraging the fiancée to address the family’s red flags.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

The Reddit crew dove into this drama like it was a family barbecue with all the gossip on the table. Their takes are candid, spicy, and full of fist bumps for the woman’s honesty. Here’s what they had to say:

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QuitaQuites − NTA You simply told the truth and I’m guessing they didn’t want to upset her or have another failed marriage on their property!

TheFoulWind − NTA and try to stay as far away from this mess as you can!. INFO: do you know why the family isn’t allowing them? What we’re you special circumstances?

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seventeenblackbirds − INFO: If you said she saw pictures and would have known where it was based on that, why did you think she was asking you?

[Reddit User] − NTA, you're not obligated to perpetuate anyone's lies. That said, the whole thing is weird. Like why is your ex's family lying to his fiance in the first place?

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LongNectarine3 − NTA. You did this woman a favor by being the only one in her orbit being honest with her. Of course your ex is upset. He has been called out on a lie. His sister also sounds like an excellent female ally. I am very pleased you put loyalty to the truth before the dishonest cruelty that the fiancé has experienced at the hands of her future in laws.. You duty is done. Best walk away now.

LoveBeach8 − NTA. You did the right thing to tell her the truth. If I were her, I'd rethink marrying your ex. Beginning a marriage (or any relationship, for that matter!) with a lie is a red flag. And for your ex and his family to put the blame on you for 'causing drama' is another red flag. Their marriage is doomed and maybe you should tell her that, too! lol

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cuddlemonster000 − You're nicer then a lot of people would be. I was trying to figure out during this post why she would even want to get married the same place , until I read the replies and she an ex friend.

Was she at the wedding? You're NTA. But you might have to try and remove yourself from the whole situation. If it does nont concern your son then try not to deal with the father, and his situation. If you can.. Good luck OP!!

GizzieTime − …the real question here is do they want you to get back together?

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Tessie1966 − NTA- Why would she want to get married the same place you were married?

pelorizado83 − NTA. It's not your job to keep up other people's lies... nothing else matters after that.

These Redditors cheered her for exposing the lie but raised eyebrows at the family’s motives. Some wondered if the fiancée’s push to use the same venue hinted at deeper insecurities. Do their hot takes capture the full picture, or are they just fanning the flames?

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This story leaves us pondering the cost of truth in a web of family secrets. The woman’s choice to be honest stirred drama but also shone a light on deeper trust issues. It’s a reminder that relationships thrive on transparency, even when it’s uncomfortable. What would you do if caught between sparing feelings and revealing a lie? Share your thoughts and experiences—how would you navigate this wedding venue mess?

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