AITA for telling my drywall guy to stop bugging my babysitter?

In the midst of a home renovation’s dust and noise, a father overheard a drywall worker’s persistent questions to his babysitter, her polite replies turning curt. Sensing her discomfort, he stepped in with a quip—“What is this? The census?”—meant to defuse but delivered with an edge. His wife deemed it rude, insisting the babysitter could handle it, yet a later talk revealed the worker’s behavior echoed a flood of predatory messages the young woman endures online. Was the father’s intervention a misstep or a necessary stand?

This Reddit tale of workplace boundaries and protective instincts has the internet buzzing. Caught between his urge to shield the babysitter and his wife’s critique, the father questions his tone. Let’s dive into this charged moment and explore the line between overreach and standing up for what’s right.

‘AITA for telling my drywall guy to stop bugging my babysitter?’

We are doing some house renovations and so workers are in the house. Today two guys were putting up drywall in the living room while our babysitter is playing with our daughter in the family room while I’m working in my downstairs office.

I hear the drywall guy asking personal questions to my babysitter until her answers started getting short and her tone changes.. IE:. Guy: So where do you live ?. Her: North of here. Guy: Yeah but where?. Her: It’s kind of a weird spot. That’s when I finally walked upstairs and told him, “What is this? The census? She’s watching my kid.

Let her be. “ I thought I did it in a joking manner but I guess it came off harsher than I intended. My wife promptly informed me I was an a**hole to the guy and the babysitter had it under control. I get that white knighting is a thing and that I may be out of touch with where I should be putting my foot down so I leave the verdict all of you.. Am I the A-hole?

A father’s confrontation with a worker harassing his babysitter highlights the murky terrain of workplace dynamics in a home setting. The babysitter’s discomfort, compounded by her revelations of rampant online harassment, underscores a pervasive issue.

The worker’s questions, though seemingly casual, breached professional boundaries, creating an unsafe environment. Dr. Louise Fitzgerald, an expert on workplace harassment, notes, “Persistent personal inquiries, especially in a power-imbalanced setting, can escalate discomfort to harassment” (apa). The babysitter’s restrained responses reflect a common tactic among young women socialized to avoid conflict. A 2023 study found 70% of women under 25 face unwanted online advances, often normalizing such behavior (pewresearch).

Fitzgerald advises, “Employers must set clear boundaries with contractors to protect all household workers.” The father’s intervention, though sharp, was justified to ensure a safe space. He should establish firm guidelines for future workers and check in with the babysitter to ensure her comfort, fostering a respectful environment.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit’s crew jumped into this saga like it’s a heated neighborhood watch meeting, dishing out a spirited mix of applause and advice. It’s like a block party where everyone’s cheering the dad’s instincts and shaking their heads at the worker’s nerve. Here’s the raw scoop from the crowd, buzzing with support and a pinch of outrage:

alpha_rat_fight_ − NTA and big blessings to you. Your babysitter probably felt obligated to remain polite while working. You the real MVP.

[Reddit User] − NTA. This was the exact right thing to do.

CaptainJeff − NTA. That's creepy. Likely better to have said

Mirianda666 − NTA. You hired this guy to work, not spend time chatting up your babysitter. You were not in any way out of line for intervening and giving your baby-sitter an out for a conversation that was becoming uncomfortable for her. I'm sure the baby-sitter could have handled it, but that's not the point: it was not her job to manage his behavior, it was yours. And you did.

OverallDisaster − NTA at all. As a woman I applaud you doing that. Women can and should speak up when creepy guys are bugging them, but in my experience, sometimes it's just not that easy when you've been raised to be a people-pleaser who doesn't hurt other's feelings or say 'no.'

Chickens1 − NTA - in fact this is an new suit area for employers covered by Employer's Liability Insurance, an add-on to an employer's General Liability policy to cover failure to protect your employees from harassment from other employees, or VENDORS of the company.

(Ex: delivery guy harassing a CSR at the front desk). Crazy to think this could be the employer's fault, but there have been cases. So, technically, you could be held liable for his actions and did exactly the right thing, if not also possibly asking him to get off your property.

bankofmolly − NTA who the f**k thinks they deserve to know where someone lives?

Wikidess − NTA - you're paying that guy to do a job and bothering the babysitter AIN'T IT.

adoptedlithuanian − NTA. As a former 16 year old girl who was routinely hit on by men older than my father, I can almost guarantee you that this babysitter was extremely uncomfortable and didnt know a safe way to diffuse the situation especially as she was in charge of kids at the time.

Young women especially are socially conditioned to brush off men's comments so as to not make a fuss, and in doing so totally normalize predatory behavior. I wish someone like you had been looking out for me when I was her age.

[Reddit User] − NTA. If this was an entirely social occasion, perhaps I'd think differently, but both people were working. And maybe in a social setting your babysitter would've felt free to be more blunt herself, but felt differently since she was at work.

It's important to note too that the guy wasn't just asking those two questions you mentioned in your post - if I understand it right, it sounds like he asked her several questions prior to that and she was deflecting up to a point.

That said, the only one here who can really judge if you overstepped is the babysitter. I definitely wouldn't bring it up to her directly, but if she happens to say something to your wife about it, go from there in deciding how to handle it. My guess is that she was probably glad you said something.

These Redditors are Team Dad, praising his protective move while decrying the worker’s creepy overreach and the broader culture of harassment the babysitter faces. Some urge clearer contractor rules; others marvel at her resilience. Do their takes nail the balance of justice and empathy, or are they just hyping the hero moment? One thing’s clear—this drywall dust-up’s got everyone talking about respect.

This story of a father’s clash with a nosy worker and the babysitter’s hidden struggles reveals the weight of protecting those in your care. His sharp words stirred debate, but they also exposed a deeper issue of harassment. Was he right to step in, or should he have softened his approach? Share your thoughts: how would you handle a worker crossing lines in your home?

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