AITA for telling my daughter that I find her pictures inappropriate?

In a quiet suburban home, a father scrolls through Instagram, hearting his daughters’ latest posts with a smile—until one daughter’s bold new look stops him cold. The vibrant, revealing outfits of his 21-year-old spark a flicker of unease, clashing with his traditional sensibilities. Caught between love and discomfort, he makes a silent choice to unfollow her, hoping to sidestep the issue. But when she notices, a heartfelt confrontation unravels, leaving the family tangled in a modern clash of boundaries, autonomy, and social media. Was his quiet exit a respectful retreat or a misstep that hurt his daughter?

The saga unfolds on Reddit, where raw emotions and digital decisions collide. Readers are drawn into the father’s dilemma, wondering how they’d navigate this tricky terrain. With Instagram likes carrying unexpected weight, the story captures a universal tension: balancing personal values with a loved one’s freedom. Let’s dive into this family’s drama and see what sparked such a heated debate.

‘AITA for telling my daughter that I find her pictures inappropriate?’

My wife and I have 3 daughters: 24, 21, and 18. They are the only 4 people I follow on Instagram. The only reason I even have an Instagram is because that's where my daughters post most of their pictures. I only go on it every few months and that's just to binge like all of my daughters' recent picture posts.

Since last year, however, my daughter 21 has been posting pictures of herself in different attires that I find inappropriate. (Emphasis on I - because I see what the young women are wearing these days, so what I find inappropriate you may find mild.) There was only one conversation we had where I asked why the sudden change in attire and she replied that, that was her new style.

I said oh okay and some time later, I quietly unfollowed her because I didn't want to keep seeing those types of pictures of her on my homepage. I would get on Instagram, binge-like my other two daughter's pictures, and get off. My daughter called me earlier and she was upset because she noticed I had unfollowed her and that I was liking her sister's pictures and not hers.

I was surprised that she even cared because my daughters have quite a number of followers and likes on their pictures from their friends and other family members. I told her that I unfollowed because I found the pictures she posted there quite inappropriate. And I pointed out that I still hearted the pictures that she put on Facebook.

She said that if the way she was dressing bothered me I should have said something. I told her that I didn't want to say anything because she was an adult and that my opinion shouldn't affect the way she dressed. And that just because I found her pictures inappropriate didnt mean that I loved her any less. I just didn't want to see them.

My daughter hung up very upset and my wife angrily said that I shouldn't have said that I found our daughters pictures 'inappropriate' and that I should call back and apologize.. No. Absolutely not. At that point I was just tired and fed up, I told my wife I'm done with this whole thing and walked away. My wife is still upset so I wonder if I did something to make me TA.

Navigating a child’s evolving identity can feel like tiptoeing through a digital minefield. The father’s quiet unfollow was a bid to respect his daughter’s autonomy while shielding himself from discomfort. But her hurt suggests a deeper need for open dialogue.

Family dynamics expert Dr. John Gottman notes, “Honest communication, even when uncomfortable, builds trust in relationships” (The Gottman Institute). Here, the father’s silence, though well-intentioned, left his daughter feeling judged without context. His choice to unfollow reflects a personal boundary, but her reaction shows she values his opinion more than he realized.

This situation mirrors a broader social issue: the generational gap in social media norms. A 2023 Pew Research study found 60% of Gen Z use platforms like Instagram to express identity, often clashing with older generations’ views (Pew Research). The father’s discomfort with “inappropriate” attire highlights differing values around self-expression.

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For solutions, experts suggest calm, non-judgmental talks. The father could invite his daughter for coffee, asking how she feels about her style and sharing his perspective gently. Setting mutual boundaries—like muting posts or discussing comfort zones—can bridge the gap without stifling her freedom.

See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit’s hive mind didn’t hold back, serving up a mix of empathy and wit. Here’s what the community had to say:

lumpthefoff − NTA - I think you handled it very tactfully. You did what you needed to stop seeing her pictures and you also didn’t stifle her freedom and let her do what she wants.

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Fluid_Response_6062 − NAH, but I think you need to sit and really talk to your daughter. I think it's great that you respect your daughter enough to try not to meddle in her choices regarding her body. And the way you handled the instagram situation is more mature than most people on the internet.

That said, judging by how she reacted to the fact that you didn't talk to her first, I think she feels hurt that you didn't try to communicate your feelings to her. Sounds to me that she might value your opinion more than you might realize. Maybe try to meet up for coffee and hash things out. Ask her how she would have felt had you talked to her about this first, and ask how you both can communicate better going forward.

DinaFelice − NTA. If we play out the situation the way that your daughter claims to have wanted:. OP: Why the sudden change in attire?. Daughter: That's my new style. OP: I don't like it, I feel like it's inappropriate. Daughter: That's none of your business. OP: Well, I just don't want to see it.

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Daughter: I'm an adult, I'm not going to change my style for you. OP: Ok, I'll just stop following you. Daughter: So this is an ultimatum? I need to dress the way you want me to or else you don't want to see me?. OP: I still want to see *you*, just not those pictures with you in inappropriate outfits.

Daughter: I'm going on AITA and asking the internet what they think about a father giving an ultimatum to his grown daughter about dressing in perfectly reasonable outfits. Redditors: Your dad is afraid of women's sexuality and is an AH for trying to control your behavior with an ultimatum.

Look, I strongly believe that people should have the right to dress how they want. But part of freedom of expression is the fact that some people will not approve. And what I have always said to people who do not approve of images (admittedly, usually images on TV or in art galleries) is simply: If you don't like it, don't look

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y-be − NTA - Your daughter asked why you unfollowed her, you told her. You weren’t originally going to say anything but she ASKED. You weren’t wrong to give her your opinion. If she didn’t want to hear your opinion, she shouldn’t have asked 🤷

crazewtboy − NTA. You did the right thing by not saying anything. Your daughter is grown and can make the decision to wear what she wants. You are also allowed to unfollow because that is your choice. And if you found the pictures inappropriate it is understandable you don't want to see your daughter like that.

When confronted you were honest. Honestly you didn't do anything wrong here and your wife should be happy with the way you handled it. Only advice is maybe trying explaining more in depth to your daughter why you unfollowed her

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926dr − NTA You respect your daughters choice to dress however she wants. You don’t have to subject yourself to looking at it if it makes you uncomfortable.. You’re allowed to have boundaries. If this is your boundary stick to it. You expressed it to you daughter in a very respectful way.

I think this was the best use of communication I’ve ever seen to be honest. Your daughter will either understand or stop posting things that make you uncomfortable. It’s her choice though and you are allowing her that choice.. You seem like a great dad.

poserinaparka − Just for future reference, there is a mute option on Instagram that allows you to still follow someone, but makes it so you won't see their posts/stories on your feed. You'd still be able to follow your daughter without seeing her posts, but obviously not able to like them since you need to see them to like them.

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Also, I think NTA. I agree with some others who think 'inappropriate' wasn't the best word choice, but I don't think you were wrong in your actions. It's completely valid if seeing your daughter in outfits you find 'inappropriate' makes you feel uncomfortable,

 I think it's super great that, instead of telling her to change how she's dresses, you addressed the problem by making it so you wouldn't see photos of her dressed that way. She asked you about it directly, and telling the truth doesn't make you the AH.

f0rits3lf − I am a 20-something woman, and I have unfollowed friends and classmates cause I didnt want to look at them in bikinis anymore. You're definitely NTA - you made the right choice but it turns out this was a no win situation. Sorry, my dude.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. You reaffirmed with your daughter that you respect that she’s an adult and acknowledged it’s not your place to tell her how to dress. You have an opinion and have a right to set boundaries on your own digital life, and shouldn’t be in a position to click “like” on IG to artificially boost your daughters self esteem when it makes you uncomfortable, especially if you still engage with her on other platforms.

It’s an unhealthy fixation on being noticed and admired on social media, and many people are addicted to it. It seems like your daughter is more concerned with clicks than respecting your opinion.. You drew your boundaries. Stick to them.

CMBM20 − NTA at all! Not even a little. You should win an award!! In fact, I’m giving you one. Because you get it. She’s an adult. She can dress how she wants and that you don’t control that. You also realize that you can’t control her, only you. So you unfollowed her.

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You are not the AH! You are a great dad that loves his daughter and wants to let her live her life the way she sees fit. You did the right thing. She will find a way to understand. Just continue to reach out to her as you usually would. She will come around.

Curious if these Redditors nailed it or missed the mark? Their takes are spicy, but do they capture the full picture of this family’s tangle?

This tale of Instagram unfollows and family friction reminds us how digital choices can ripple through real-world bonds. The father’s intent to respect his daughter’s freedom clashed with her need for his approval, leaving both sides raw. Striking a balance between boundaries and connection is no easy feat. What would you do if you were in his shoes? Share your thoughts below—have you ever faced a similar social media showdown with family?

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