AITA for telling my dad to p**s off when he invited me to his wedding without a +2?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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In a family already stitched together by fragile threads, a 25-year-old woman’s invitation to her father’s wedding arrived like a slap. The email, crisp and formal, offered no plus-one for her girlfriend of two years or her 10-year-old daughter—her father’s only grandchild—while her siblings got plus-one options and younger cousins were welcomed. When she called out the slight, her father’s dismissive “it’s my wedding” pushed her to a boiling point, ending with a fiery “p**s off” and a blocked number.

This Reddit saga, pulsing with hurt and defiance, dives into the raw pain of family rejection. Is she wrong for standing up for her daughter and partner, or is her father’s selective guest list a fair choice? With Reddit buzzing and family ties fraying, let’s unpack this drama with the crowd’s takes and expert insights.

‘AITA for telling my dad to p**s off when he invited me to his wedding without a +2?’

I'm 25f. Dad and I have a whole host of issues, but the parts relevant here are that when I was very young, I had a kid. When I told dad I was pregnant, we had a huge fight, and didn't speak again until my 18th birthday. A couple years later, I came out to him as bisexual and told him I had a girlfriend. We then had another fight and went back to no contact for another couple years.

We haven't seen a lot of each other since then but things have been better, or at least I thought they were. He's met my daughter, and my girlfriend of 2 years, and while he still doesn't seem totally okay with either of them, he appeared to at least be making an effort.

Now dad is getting married. He and his fiancé have sent out an email with a date, asking who can attend, apparently to get an idea of numbers for their vendors. There was no mention of a plus one on mine. I figured it was because of everything going on right now,

so I wasn't massively upset, and I know that childfree weddings are a thing so while I was a little annoyed at my daughter being excluded, I understood it to an extent as while she's a kid she is still his only grandchild. But then I found out that my brothers got identical emails, except theirs also asked if they need a plus one. To be clear, my email did not have this.

Of my 6 siblings, all but 2 are single, and the 2 in relationships have both been with their partners for less than a year. It's just me who didn't get the option of a plus one. He's also invited my cousins, who are younger than my daughter, so it's not a childfree wedding, either.

Dad called me to ask if I was coming, and I directly said that I know I was the only one to not be offered a plus one, and that I felt it was kind of s**tty of him to exclude not only his only grandchild, but also my girlfriend, who I've been with longer than my both siblings have been with their partners combined.

Dad responded that it was his wedding and his choice who he invites, and he doesn't know my daughter or girlfriend well enough to include them. I said in that case, it's probably best I don't come, either. Dad said that I was acting immature and unreasonable, and kept nagging me to change my mind,

until a couple days ago when I told him (among other things) to p**s off and blocked him. A couple of my brothers heard what happened from dad and followed up with me, saying it was dad's choice, that the future wife's family are conservative so that's probably why he left them out,

that explaining my situation was asking for drama, and that it was entitled of me to expect a +2 when everyone else only got a +1, before telling me I should apologise and attend.. AITA?. Info: the cousins who were invited are 4 and 6. My daughter is nearly 10.

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Family gatherings like weddings can be emotional landmines, especially when past wounds linger. The woman’s father, by excluding her girlfriend and daughter while including others’ partners and younger cousins, sent a clear message of rejection. His excuse—“not knowing them well”—rings hollow given his sparse effort to connect, especially with his granddaughter. Her sharp retort, while heated, reflects years of pent-up frustration from his disapproval of her bisexuality and motherhood.

This scenario echoes broader issues of family acceptance for LGBTQ+ individuals. A 2023 study by The Trevor Project found that 50% of queer youth face family rejection, often tied to conservative values, impacting mental health (The Trevor Project). The father’s deference to his fiancée’s conservative family suggests he’s prioritizing optics over his daughter’s dignity.

Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes, “Acceptance in families requires acknowledging loved ones’ core identities, even when it’s uncomfortable” (Gottman Institute). Here, the father’s selective invitations dismiss the woman’s family unit, undermining her identity. Her decision to skip the wedding protects her self-worth, though her harsh words may escalate tension.

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For solutions, experts suggest setting boundaries while leaving room for future dialogue. The woman could send a calm note explaining her absence, emphasizing her need for respect. Offering to meet her father separately, away from the wedding’s pressures, might foster understanding. For now, focusing on her daughter and girlfriend builds a supportive family unit, free from judgment.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit swooped in like a protective squad, dishing out support with a side of righteous anger. From slamming the father’s bigotry to cheering the woman’s stand, the comments are a lively rally. Here’s the raw scoop:

Adept-One-819 − NTA, he didn't even offer you a plus one! The kid thing is whatever, but the fact that he excluded your partner because you're LGBTQ makes him a huge bigot and you don't need that in your life. Him claiming he doesn't know your daughter (his granddaughter) is just icing on the crap cake that is your dad.

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Asura_Law − NTA. Your response to your brothers should have been it is pretty entitled of them to have a +1 when you were not even afforded a similar opportunity. Honestly, it sounds like your entire family is toxic if they feel it is appropriate to exclude your daughter as well.

Jade_Echo − You know, I agree with your dad that it’s his wedding, and he can decide who to invite.. But that doesn’t obligate anyone he invites to attend. He’s making a point here, and sure, he absolutely can use his wedding to make that point. The point that you are only accepted for the piece of you that isn’t a bisexual, single mom.

I imagine, as a bisexual mom myself, that this is actually a very large part of who you are at this point in your life. Your partner and your child probably are a part of the majority of your identity. So what your dad is telling you is that he doesn’t actually accept you.. But he still expects you to shut up and attend.

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You don’t need to demand your family is invited, because that’s not going to win this fight. Just don’t go. You’re absolutely never going to be the a**hole to turn down a wedding invitation that doesn’t include your partner or child when it’s obvious they are being excluded to make a point.

Please do not attend the wedding. But also, just be polite but firm when confronted by everyone. “I will not attend the wedding of someone who refuses to accept my family.” Is enough of an answer. In fact, “No.” all by itself is a complete sentence. NTA. Just don’t go and don’t engage with anyone about it. And maybe think about how much you need these people in your life who don’t actually accept or love you for who you are.

Jessreiella − NTA. He's made it clear he has no interest nor love for your life, so why should you be involved with his? I'm glad you stood up for yourself and your family.

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SavageInkStudios − NTA: excluding your family unit specifically was messed up. You're under no obligation to show up to an event where your loved ones arent welcome.

girlsmom713 − Mom of 3 girls here! NTA, cut him out of your life. Yes, it's your father's wedding and he can do whatever he wants. Just like you can do what you want. You need to decide if you want to continue a relationship with someone who is embarrassed by you. He only wants you there to look good infront of the brides family.

Not having all his kids there would be a red flag. Questions would be asked. Always ask yourself how you would handle the situation if someone treated your child the same way your father is treating you and make your decision based of that.

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You child may be young but they do remember the craziest things and are very intuitive when their parents are hurting. Also, one thing I've learned about family input is to not listen to it. Usually the objective is to shut you up and get in line regardless of who is in the wrong. The older member is ALWAYS right.

lochnessrunner − NTA - I would consider cutting your dad out for a while. It sounds like he is ashamed of you (which there is no reason to be). You are a mom not with the child’s parent (super common) and you are in a healthy relationship (be greatful for that). Just tell your day why you won’t be coming and say you won’t talk about it anymore. If he brings it up again drop him. Say the same thing to your family.

ManateeFlamingo − NTA Dad responded that it was his wedding and his choice who he invites, and he doesn't know my daughter or girlfriend well enough to include them. Just...wow. Very rude. I think you made the right choice to decline. There *is* some immaturity going on here, and you are not the source of it. Sorry you have to deal with that behavior from your dad.

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re_nonsequiturs − NTA. You don't need a +2 or +1, that's when it's uncertain who you'll be with.. You have a child and a partner of 2 years, the invitation should have been addressed to:. Miss ThrowRA 570127, Miss Loving Girlfriend, and Miss Kiddo 570127. Send regrets and a book of etiquette with a nice bookmark in the wedding invitation section.

Send regrets on behalf of your daughter as well addressed to the wife 'Dear Grandfather and Mrs. , I'm so sorry I didn't receive an invitation to your wedding in time to attend. I assume it was lost in the mail as your other grandchildren were invited. Congratulations! Sincerely, your granddaughter, Kiddo'

Knittingfairy09113 − NTA The fact that your brothers are ok w their niece being excluded when younger children are invited particularly has me ragey (pretty worked up about the gf too make no mistake).

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These Redditors backed her choice to skip the wedding, urging her to prioritize her family. But do their fiery takes capture the full weight of cutting ties, or are they just fueling the fight?

This story stings, revealing the deep cuts of family rejection. The woman’s refusal to attend her father’s wedding isn’t just about a missing plus-two—it’s about defending her daughter and partner’s place in her life. By standing firm, she’s choosing self-respect over appeasement, but the rift may linger. Have you faced family exclusion over who you love? What would you do in her shoes? Share your thoughts below and let’s keep the convo going!

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