AITA for telling my dad that if his girlfriend’s kid comes camping I’m not going?

A crackling campfire and starry nights in the Rockies were the dream for a 17-year-old gearing up for a post-graduation adventure with his dad and brother. For years, they’ve plotted this epic camping trip across Colorado, South Dakota, and Wyoming, a final hurrah before college. But when Dad suggests bringing his girlfriend’s 10-year-old son, Toby, the vision of rugged trails and brotherly bonding starts to wobble, threatening to topple under the weight of forced family blending.

The teen’s blunt refusal to include Toby sparks a family rift, with his dad pushing for inclusion and his brother backing his stand. A heated exit to his mom’s house leaves everyone on edge, questioning loyalty and plans. This Reddit story dives into the tension of changing family dynamics, where a teen’s dream trip clashes with a parent’s new priorities, pulling readers into a relatable showdown.

‘AITA for telling my dad that if his girlfriend’s kid comes camping I’m not going?’

So I'm 17m, I graduate high school in May. Since I was a freshman my dad and I have planned on going out west camping for 2 and 1/2 weeks in summer after graduation, go to Colorado, South Dakota and Wyoming. Last summer we were discussing it and my brother 'Jed' (15 now) seemed interested.

I guess he asked my dad if he could come and my dad later asked me if that was cool, because otherwise he'd take Jed on a weekend local trip or something. I said it was fine since I want to spend time with Jed too before I leave for college.. So we've been planning away and picking campgrounds to stay, trails to hike, sights to see, we're all excited.

Last July/August my dad started dating Bonnie, she's nice and everything she also has a 10 year old son Toby. Toby's alright for a kid, he behaves and everything but I don't really do much with him because we're obviously not into the same things and it feels like unpaid babysitting more than anything.

Yesterday Jed and I were by our dad's and he said 'how would you guys feel if Toby came along on our camping trip? We could maybe hit some amusement parks so he'd have fun too' Jed looked at me and I said 'um I wouldn't want him to, I mean it's supposed to be just us, he doesn't even like that stuff'.

Dad said 'well Bonnie and I were talking and we're starting to get more serious and think that it's important for you all to bond more'.. I said 'I don't want some random little kid coming with in a trip we've been planning for years.' My dad said 'he's 10 he's not a little kid, and he might be your stepbrother one day so you should get to know him more'.

I said 'fine but if he's going camping then I'm not '. I left and went back by my moms, because my dad will keep bringing something up/discussing it until you just agree and I didn't feel like dealing with it. When my dad brought Jed home apparently he talked to our mom.

ADVERTISEMENT

My mom talked to me and said that Jed doesn't want to go either if I'm not going, my dad already put in for vacation time and made reservations so 'maybe I should just go and it will be fun, I shouldn't back out of something I've been looking forward to just because of Toby'.. AITA for saying I won't go if Toby goes and planning to fallow through

This story captures a teen’s struggle to protect a cherished plan amid shifting family ties. The 17-year-old’s refusal to include Toby, his father’s girlfriend’s son, on a long-planned camping trip reflects his desire to preserve its special meaning celebrating graduation with his dad and brother. His father’s push to include Toby, suggesting amusement parks to keep him entertained, alters the trip’s core, leaving the teen feeling sidelined. A 2020 study by the American Psychological Association shows blended family transitions often strain parent-child bonds when not handled sensitively.

ADVERTISEMENT

Dr. Lisa Damour, a clinical psychologist, notes, “Teens need parents to honor commitments, especially during big life transitions like graduation”. The father’s suggestion, though well-meaning, overlooks the trip’s significance for his sons, prioritizing his new relationship. The teen’s ultimatum, while firm, expresses valid frustration at seeing his milestone moment reshaped without his input, risking feelings of disconnection.

Blended families often face challenges in balancing new and existing relationships. The father’s push for bonding with Toby is understandable but poorly timed, as it overshadows a trip planned for years. The teen’s resistance isn’t about rejecting Toby but protecting a rare moment with his dad and brother. The mother’s urging to “just go” misses the emotional weight of this change, while Jed’s solidarity shows shared feelings of protectiveness over their plan.

ADVERTISEMENT

The teen could calmly explain to his dad why the original trip matters, proposing a separate outing with Toby to build that bond. The father should acknowledge his sons’ feelings and keep the trip as planned, fostering trust. Family counseling could help navigate these dynamics.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

The Reddit community sided with the teen, calling his stance justified. They criticized the father for altering a long-planned graduation trip to accommodate Toby, arguing it hijacked a special moment. Many felt the shift to amusement parks changed the trip’s essence, undermining the teen’s milestone.

Commenters suggested the father organize a separate bonding activity with Toby, emphasizing that forcing inclusion risks resentment. They praised the teen’s clarity and Jed’s support, urging the father to prioritize his sons’ feelings to maintain their trust and connection.

starvinartist − NTA You don't force bonding on someone. This was supposed to be your special time with your brother and dad camping, and now he's expecting you to change the plans by going to amusement parks to accommodate Toby.

ADVERTISEMENT

It would be one thing if Toby likes camping as much as you guys and you were legitimately close to him, but this is forced. I hope you get to have a special camping trip regardless, OP.

RedForTheWin − NTA If your dad would like to plan something separate and include Toby, great. However, if he'd like to guarantee a permanent rift between all of you, he can stick to this plan to alter the bonding/celebration with you and your brother.

It's great to include people, when possible, such as you agreed with Jed. It's not great to guilt people, change plans to suit yourself (and his girlfriend), and then wonder why everyone isn't interested. I'm sorry that your dad is unable or unwilling to see that this isn't the time or place to attempt bonding.

ADVERTISEMENT

CONGRATULATIONS on your upcoming graduation and hopefully you can plan something with Jed alone if your dad doesn't get it together and realize the opportunity he's missing.

Evilbadscary − NTA. I suspect your dad probably already committed to taking him and is now trying to cover his backside, not expecting it to backfire.

Myobright2344 − NTA Especially as if there’s a 10 year old involve it will involve a lot more amusement parks so probably a lot less camping. I don’t think it’s just adding a potential stepbrother, it’s changing the entire nature of the trip.

ADVERTISEMENT

holiestcannoly − NTA. Just because things are getting serious with his girlfriend doesn't mean his kid needs to be included on the trip your dad has been planning for you and your sibling. Not to mention the trip was supposed to be for camping, not amusement parks. If he wants all three of you to bond, that's for a time that isn't this.

Also, I agree on not wanting to be around a 10 year old because there is nothing in common. I have a brother who is 6 years younger than me and it took him to be 14 for him and I to actually have something in common and be able to talk/hang out/etc.

Minute_Box3852 − Nta So I take it his questioning you was just a front considering how he insinuated to your mom he's taking Toby regardless.. That's nice. Ignore the fact that this was supposed to be your graduation trip. I'd point that out to your dad if I were you. That this was supposed to be your trip and he's hijacked it.

ADVERTISEMENT

Ask him if he plans to prioritize his gf's son from now on bc he's showing signs that's exactly where he's headed.. There's plenty of time for yall to get to know each other. Your trip with your dad isn't it.

Decent_Ad6389 − NTA. That's a different trip than the one you spent years planning. If he wants to go to amusement parks with his girlfriend's kid that's his business. Heck, if he wants you to get to know the kid better that's fine.. That activity shouldn't intersect with your graduation trip.

Sit your father down and explain that you need for your graduation trip to be the three of you - dad, brother, and you. You can get to know the kid some other time. The graduation trip should not be used for purposes other than celebrating as planned.

ADVERTISEMENT

Edit to add: the kid didn't even want to hang out at a fire, eat s'mores, and opted for his switch instead? Oh he'd be a ton of fun on a camping trip. Your dad is such an A H for suggesting this. Him and his gf both.

stubborn_mushroom − NTA Your dad asked if you wanted Toby to come, you said no. Your dad should have accepted that and organised a separate activity with Toby for another time.

Takeabreak128 − I hate when parents do this to their kids. This is a family trip y’all have been planning for months. Now to score points with the girlfriend, he pulls this. I don’t blame you or your brother. This is probably your last big adventure with your dad, no tag alongs.He can impress his girlfriend another time. NTA

ADVERTISEMENT

breathemusic14 − NTA. There are plenty of other ways and times you can get to know this kid. It doesn't have to be on a special trip that you have been planning with your dad for years.

This tale of tents and tempers highlights the delicate dance of family loyalty and new relationships. The teen’s refusal to let Toby join his graduation trip isn’t about rejection but preserving a cherished plan with his dad and brother. While his father’s heart may be in the right place, the timing feels like a misstep, threatening a milestone moment.

Have you ever had to protect a special plan from unexpected changes? Share your experiences in the comments and join the conversation about balancing family ties and personal boundaries.

ADVERTISEMENT
Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *