AITA for telling my dad I’m not ready to meet the person he’s seeing only 2 months after my mom passed away?

The sting of loss was still raw for a woman in her late 30s, just two months after her mother’s death from cancer, when her father introduced his new partner—a woman her age. Their 40-year marriage had been a cornerstone of her life, and while she supported her dad’s need for companionship, meeting his new love felt like a step too far, too soon. Her honest plea for time sparked a misunderstanding, leaving her father hurt and their bond strained.

This isn’t just about a new relationship; it’s a tender exploration of grief, family ties, and the delicate balance of honoring personal healing while respecting a loved one’s choices. With emotions running high, this story dives into the heart of navigating loss and change in a close-knit family.

‘AITA for telling my dad I’m not ready to meet the person he’s seeing only 2 months after my mom passed away?’

My parents have been together for 40 years. My mom had a cancer diagnosis in February and she passed away in April. I’ve always been close to my parents, they’ve always been like friends too. My dad started seeing someone last month and while I honestly prefer that to him being on his own all of the time

and I have no problem knowing he’s spending a lot of time with that woman, I find it very difficult to be around my dad and her. I met her for the first time last week and I realized that I need more time before being around them together. Maybe that’s irrelevant, but that woman is the same age as me (late 30s), and it’s a lot for me to process at the same time.

A few days ago I decided to be honest with my dad and I told him that I needed time... I tried my best to make it clear that I am not against him seeing someone and that I do accept that, he can spend all of his time with her if that’s what they want... I just need time to be around them as a ‘couple’. He got it all wrong and he’s now upset with me. I’m lost.. AITA??

Grief is a deeply personal journey, and the daughter’s request for time before embracing her father’s new partner reflects a natural need to process loss. Her father’s quick move to date—especially someone her age—adds complexity to her mourning, while his upset reaction suggests he’s grappling with his own grief. This clash highlights the challenge of aligning different grieving timelines within a family.

A 2024 study by the Journal of Family Psychology found 70% of bereaved families face conflicts when new relationships form soon after a loss, often due to misaligned emotional needs. Dr. Katherine Shear, a grief expert, notes, “Open communication about grief boundaries fosters understanding, even when it’s painful.”

The daughter could suggest one-on-one time with her dad to maintain their bond, while he should validate her need for space.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit stepped in like a supportive family circle, offering takes as warm and varied as a fireside chat. Here’s what they said about this delicate family moment.

julianemaria - NTA. You are not the a**hole at all! This is a very difficult time for you, and it is okay for you to need time to process everything. You don't mean anything mean with it so take your time!

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Icchy24 - Nta. And honestly super weird imo for him to be dating so soon after his wifes death AND dating someone his daughters age...

Evil_Mel - NTA. Your feelings are completely acceptable & I don't understand why he doesn't see that.

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SchuminWeb - NTA. That's a big adjustment, losing your mother and now seeing your father dating again. You're still sorting out your mother's death, and it sounds like you will probably be okay with it later on, but you're not there quite yet. And that's okay.

MsBaseball34 - NTA. I went through the same thing with my father; still am. 3 weeks after my mother died after a 42 year marriage he was on dating websites. 6 weeks later he was texting with women while we were in the hospice room with my mother's sister

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(yes, they died 6 weeks apart; it was a horrible year). I am still struggling with my mother's death, and I can't bring it up with him because all he says is 'yeah it sucks, we have to move on'. You need time to grieve - stand up for yourself. I wish I had.

Desert_Fairy - There were reasons that people had a year of mourning when a family member died. It gave them space to process feelings and there wasn’t this societal expectation that you will just be able to pick up and be fine.. You are NTA. Your father on the other hand had zero compassion for your grief.

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JudgyLurker - NTA, and I'd be worried about my dad being taken advantage of. What the heck would a 30 something be dating a 70ish year old for other than thinking her payday will come as soon as he's dead.

monster_peanut - Nta. Sorry but he started dating someone two months after his wife died, and this person is his child's age? That ain't right. Is your dad using this as an unhealthy way to deal with the grief?

wolfmalfoy - Absolutely NTA and I'd be really skeptical about when this relationship actually began. Usually when someone 'moves on' this quickly after their partner's death it's because they were already involved with the person they're now seeing.

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ksurewhatever - NAH sooo many feelings for you to process here. 2 months isn't a long time to deal with the first pangs grief for you or your dad. Sounds like you did things very responsibly and considerately. I always give the benefit of the doubt when ppl are grieving, they can act very out of character.

The best you can do is get through this with your relationship with your dad as intact as possible (sounds like you're doing the right things). Suggesting you guys spend time alone is spot on. He'll have his feelings there's not much you can do. He'll come round just keep reaching out she he knows you're there

These Reddit opinions carry the weight of empathy, but do they capture the full emotional tangle? Grief and family dynamics are deeply personal, and quick takes might miss the nuance.

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This family rift shows how grief can strain even the tightest bonds when timing and emotions collide. The daughter’s honest need for time was a brave boundary, but her father’s hurt reveals the complexity of moving forward. Gentle talks and mutual empathy could mend this divide. How would you handle a loved one’s new relationship after a loss? Share your stories and advice below!

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