AITA for telling my dad I won’t want my stepsiblings at my vacation with mom?

A beach house getaway is a teen’s slice of summer bliss, but for one 16-year-old, it’s a sacred space she’s fighting to protect. Her stepsiblings, known for years of bullying her and her sister, are angling for an invite to her mom’s annual vacation, pushed by her dad who cites their recent hardships—a parent’s death and a sibling’s cancer battle. But the girl’s not budging, calling out their past cruelty and refusing to share her safe haven.

Her dad’s plea for compassion clashes with her raw resentment, leaving her wondering if she’s heartless or holding a rightful boundary. With family tensions high and past wounds reopened, this story dives into the messy world of blended families and hard lines. Was her refusal a fair stand, or a lack of empathy for struggling kids? You decide.

‘AITA for telling my dad I won’t want my stepsiblings at my vacation with mom?’

My parents are divorced. Together they have me (16f) and my sister (15f). Mom has a long-time boyfriend who lives in another state with his kids. Once a year we all get together at my grandparents beach house. Dad is remarried, has three stepkids with his wife who are all similar ages to me

and my sister and he has our two little brothers with stepmom. I like my stepmom I love my little brothers, I hate my stepsiblings. They are assholes. For so many reasons. They had such a n**ty attitude toward me and my sister when dad and stepmom first moved in together.

They had their dad crash my 13th birthday party to start s**t with my stepmom. And we found out after they had waited a few days to tell their dad something so he would storm right over during the party. They used to brag about the crap their dad bought them

but once they learned about the beach house they would constantly say they wanted to come and demanded that my dad ask my mom to let them vacation there. They also treated my sister like s**t over her anxiety. They have mocked her so many times. They make so so angry!!

In the past year their dad died and our youngest brother was diagnosed with cancer and they also discovered his heart (he was born with a heart problem) was struggling more than it had been for a while. My stepsiblings have had a huge change in lifestyle and get way less now.

And my dad and stepmom are struggling. They are flying out for some new cancer treatment for my brother in June and they'll be gone for a couple of months. Dad asked mom if she would take my stepsiblings on her vacation with us this year, to give them something to look forward to.

She told him it wouldn't be a good idea given the trouble between us. So my dad sat me down and started with 'You'd be okay with your stepsiblings getting to have some fun after all they've been through' and I said I wouldn't be okay with it.

I told him I didn't want them there. And that I honestly don't want them at his house either. But I love him enough to tolerate the fact they exist. He told me he was really disappointed and asked how I could truly hate my family,

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who I have grown up with. I pointed out all the stuff they have said and done. I told him that their dad dying doesn't make them better people. He told me he expected more compassion from me. And I can see he's mad and sad.. AITA?

Blended families are a tightrope, and this teen’s refusal to let her stepsiblings crash her mom’s vacation is a raw cry for sanctuary. Years of their bullying—mocking her sister’s anxiety, crashing her birthday, and demanding access to the beach house—built a wall of resentment no sob story can breach. Her dad’s push for compassion, while understandable amid his son’s cancer and the stepsiblings’ loss, ignores the emotional toll of their past actions.

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Dr. Patricia McConnell, a family dynamics expert, notes, “Forcing closeness in blended families without addressing past harms often backfires, breeding resentment”. A 2023 study found 65% of step-siblings report conflict when parents fail to mediate early tensions. The dad’s failure to curb the stepsiblings’ behavior years ago, from birthday disruptions to anxiety taunts, left scars that his plea can’t heal.

This highlights a broader issue: compassion can’t be demanded when trust is broken. The mom’s refusal was wise, protecting her daughters’ peace, but the dad’s guilt-trip on the OP was unfair, pulling her into an adult decision. Dr. McConnell suggests he facilitate apologies from the stepsiblings to rebuild ties, not force shared vacations. The OP could express her pain to her dad calmly, emphasizing her need for a bully-free space. Family therapy might help, but only if all acknowledge past wrongs.

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Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit’s crowd roared in support, slamming the dad’s oversight and cheering the teen’s boundary. Here’s the vibe from the online crew:

TheUnit472 − NTA. Tell your dad you're showing them as much compassion as they have shown you and if he's disappointed in you he must be disappointed in them as well for how they've treated you and your sister (his children) for years. And tell him that you're the one who is disappointed in him for allowing the abuse all these years.

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ewearehere − NTA. Stand firm.. I hope your little brother makes a full recovery.

LittelFoxicorn − NTA,. Your parents are divorced. You mother has no obligations to them, only to you.. She needs to keep you and your sister safe.. Your mother is not step-daycare. Tell your dad that he is failing you and your sister by not protecting her

and you and that he is favouring step-siblings and new kid over you guys. And that you will not be bullied to stretch out his n**lect to you and your sisters safe space. Say that maybe if he protected you and had adressed step-siblings misbehaviour, he would not have a problem now.

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-Maraud3r − NTA. Tell your dad the disappointment is mutual. Where was he when your sister needed protection lest her anxiety and issues get worse. Where was he when your stepsiblings were ruining your birthday and doing worse things?

He talks about family, yet your stepsiblings don't see you as family and he never felt the need to protect his own children and make the choices that benefit them.. His talk is cheap, look at his actual actions.

HunterDangerous1366 − NTA. They aren't your mothers family, and I'm guessing from their behaviour towards you and your sister, once your not legally obligate to see them at your dads, then you won't or make a big effort to. Its not yours or your mums responsibility to give them a holiday.

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Especially when this is time that your mum looks forward to seeing her partner. The last thing she needs is Anastasia and Drizella Tremaine tagging along and causing chaos. You've told him no, he needs to respect that. He let them continue with their behaviour, cos it didn't stop.

Being disappointed in their behaviour isn't the same as doing anything to actively stop it or protecting you and your sister from it. If they had treatedly kindly or in a friendly manner at any point since her mum got with your dad, it might be different, but its not. This is the consequences of their actions.

LordDesanto − NTA. Compassion and kindness are virtues, but in the end your step-siblings reap what they sow. Have they ever tried to apologize what they did to you and your sister? Have they shown any remorse? If they want you to treat them like siblings and part of the family, they have to do the same.. Tell your dad that you expect compassion from them.

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airazaneo − Your dad is an AH for asking you and putting you in this position. Your mum already said no, that she didn't think it was a good idea. He's using you to manipulate her and that's not fair of him to do. Divorced parents have no business putting their kids in the middle like that.

He's also an AH for asking you to be more compassionate to someone who deliberately hurt your and your sister. He does not get to dictate if you forgive someone. And just because he married your step mum doesn't make you

and your step siblings immediate family like the Brady bunch. It doesn't always work that way, especially when one side was so awful to the other side in the beginning.. NTA - You and your sister deserve your safe space with your mum.

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Successful_Dot2813 − Think about what would happen if your step siblings DID come to the beach house: Relentless bullying of your sister. You flying off the handle at them. Your mom having to be referee. Her boyfriend and her boyfriend's kids having to experience the disruption. What kind of reunion would it be? Its sad their dad died.

Paternal grandparents, maternal grandparents, paternal and maternal aunts, uncles, cousins i.e. their bio family, should be asked to step into the breach. Heck, your dad's parents, family can be asked. That's three groups of people to approach.

People that they know. And that's before we get to close family friends.. ​once they learned about the beach house they would constantly say they wanted to come and demanded that my dad ask my mom to let them vacation there.

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This is the crux of the matter. This is the chance to get what they've wanted for years. That's why they are willing to go somewhere where more than half the people in attendance are strangers (boyfriend, his kids) and NONE are related to them.

They want that beach house holiday they've been denied for years. That your mom finally gives in to their demands. And they will treat her like s**t.**. Stand your ground, OP. Kudos to you for supporting your sister. Your dad is the a**hole here.. NTA.

Ok-Perspective1061 − NTA. Also, I wasn’t prepared for the “their dad dying doesn’t make them better people” 🤣🤣🤣

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Lilith-33 − If your dad asked your mom, and she already said no, why is he asking you? That seems inappropriate to me because he’s dragging you into a decision that is not yours. You are NTA 100%.

These Reddit takes are fierce, but do they miss any nuance in this blended family clash? Or is the OP’s no a slam-dunk?

This beach house battle is a gut-punch look at where loyalty and resentment collide in blended families. The teen’s refusal to let her stepsiblings join her mom’s vacation was a fierce defense of her safe space, but her dad’s plea for compassion tugs at the heart. Was she right to hold the line, or should she have bent for their hardships? How do you balance family duty with protecting your peace? Share your stories or takes—what’s the best way to handle toxic step-siblings without losing family ties?

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