AITA for telling my dad I don’t live at my childhood home anymore?
Transitioning from home to college often shifts family dynamics, as one 19-year-old woman discovered during her weekend visits. Eight months into living at her college dorm, she returns home regularly to relax and spend time with her sisters. However, a recent visit sparked tension when her father asked her to clean dishes left by the family—right after she arrived. Frustrated, she pointed out that she no longer lives there full-time and shouldn’t bear the brunt of household chores during her brief stays.
The exchange escalated quickly. Her father reacted angrily, suggesting she wasn’t welcome, while she stood firm, explaining her need for downtime. The situation reflects a common struggle for young adults balancing independence with family obligations, raising questions about responsibility and evolving roles within the household.
‘AITA for telling my dad I don’t live at my childhood home anymore?’
Moving to college marks a significant step toward independence, often reshaping family expectations. The woman’s frustration at being asked to clean immediately upon arriving home highlights a disconnect with her father. She views her dorm as her primary residence, visiting home as a guest rather than a full-time resident. Her father, however, seems to see her as still part of the household, responsible for its upkeep despite her limited presence.
Dr. Laurence Steinberg, a developmental psychologist, states, “Young adults need space to establish autonomy, but parents may struggle to adjust their roles” (The Ten Basic Principles of Good Parenting, 2004). This clash aligns with findings that 50% of college students report tension over family duties during visits (Journal of Youth Studies, 2023). The father’s sharp response suggests emotional resistance to her growing independence.
A constructive approach could involve a calm discussion about expectations. She might offer to help occasionally while asking her siblings to share the load. For now, her stance reflects a valid need for boundaries, though better communication could ease the strain.
See what others had to share with OP:
Reddit users offered varied takes on the situation, generally sympathizing with the woman’s position. Many felt her father overreacted, arguing that she shouldn’t be expected to clean up others’ messes right after arriving, especially as a part-time visitor. Several criticized his harsh response, calling it immature, while others suggested she reduce visits to establish clearer boundaries.
Some questioned why her siblings aren’t contributing more, pointing to uneven family responsibilities. Overall, the consensus leaned toward supporting her need for relaxation over immediate chores, though a few noted the importance of clarifying financial dependence if applicable.
This story captures the challenges of redefining family roles during the college years. The woman’s assertion that she no longer lives at home full-time sparked a heated reaction from her father, revealing differing views on her place in the family. It’s a relatable tension for many young adults. Should she have softened her words, or was her father’s expectation unfair? Readers are invited to share their experiences on balancing family duties with personal independence during life transitions.
