AITA for telling my dad his son is not going to be invited to anything related to my child?

An 18-year-old expectant mother has made a firm decision about who will and will not be part of her child’s life. After growing up surrounded by constant hostility from her much older half brother, she is determined to shield her baby from the same environment she endured.

The situation becomes more complicated as her father pushes back, insisting that time might heal wounds that have remained open for nearly two decades. With a baby shower approaching and emotions running high, the young mother is forced to draw a line that challenges long-standing family dynamics and raises questions about loyalty, responsibility, and whether protecting a child should ever be considered extreme.

‘AITA for telling my dad his son is not going to be invited to anything related to my child?’

An expectant young mother reflects on her past while preparing for her child’s future.

I'm 18f and I'm expecting a baby. I know I'm young. I live with my boyfriend (my baby's father) and we are determined to make a good life for us...

Becoming a mom is making me think about what I want for my child and one thing I want more than anything is to keep my child away from the...

A long and painful family history shaped years of hostility and resentment.

Background: My parents met after my dad lost his first wife. My half brother was 6/7 when his mom died and 10 when my parents met. They got married 2...

So we have a 12 year age gap. I was followed by my brother 2 years after me and my sister 18 months after my brother. My dad's son hated...

His maternal family were also angry at dad for betraying their daughter and not living forever as her widower and never finding love again.

Growing up around that was not easy.  I would hear dad's son get mad at dad for loving my mom more than his (his son's perception).

He would yell all over the house that dad was unfaithful, would say my mom was nothing special and would never be truly loved or part of his family, he...

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Dad would argue back as well which made things not easy. They were in therapy at times but it never seemed to help. Even when he turned 18 he would...

He never cared for me or my siblings either. He wished dad had never had us. When my dad's son had kids, he told dad's whole family that my mom...

He said the woman dad loved more than his mom and his kids real grandma was never going to be loved more by his kids. He would make sure they...

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He talked about how he was going to pin a photo of her to a punching bag and they would also use a photo of her as target practice because...

Boundaries were finally drawn as the focus shifted to protecting the next generation.

He was never cut from our lives. In fact my dad would still let him into the home and invite him to every party or event. I will not allow...

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I don't want my child around that kind of fighting or to hear that kind of thing about grandma and grandpa. There has been talk of a co-ed baby shower...

Dad was asking why and I told him it should be obvious but I do not want his son around my child when he treats us all so badly.

I told him he will never be around my baby and won't ever be invited to things related to my child. He told me I was being very extreme and...

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In this case, the half brother’s hostility appears rooted in childhood loss that was never fully processed. While such emotions are understandable in a grieving child, the continuation of aggressive behavior into adulthood signals a deeper issue that was never adequately addressed. Exposure to repeated verbal attacks and violent imagery creates an unstable environment, particularly for young children who absorb emotional cues even when they do not understand the context.

The father’s perspective likely stems from guilt, grief, and a desire to maintain peace by avoiding confrontation. However, avoiding firm boundaries has allowed harmful behavior to persist unchecked. From the expectant mother’s viewpoint, protecting her child from hostility is a rational response, not an overreaction.

On a broader social level, this situation highlights how parents must sometimes make difficult choices that disrupt family harmony in order to prioritize emotional safety. Setting limits does not erase compassion, but it does acknowledge that love alone cannot fix patterns that have endured for nearly two decades.

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Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Many users strongly supported the decision to protect the child at all costs.

mortgage_gurl − NTA! How much more time does he want, it’s been 18+ years. Dad is delusional if he thinks it will change. Frankly if I were you I’d consider...

KronkLaSworda − "pin a photo of her to a punching bag and they would also use a photo of her as target practice" NTA I wouldn't let this unstable person,...

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seregil42 − NTA. I understand the reaction out of your half brother when he was 12. However, he's an adult now and to continue treating people this way is unacceptable.

You're an adult now as well and can certainly invite whoever you want or not invite whoever you want to.

These are the consequences of your half brother's reactions. I understand where your dad is coming from as it is his child, but he should b__t out of this.

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Fromasha − NTA. I think 18 years is quite enough time. Given this guy hasn't mellowed his position at all I think it's fair to assume he never will. Focus...

YouthNAsia63 − I think you have given it time-the whole of your lifetime. Enough is enough. Your dad is in denial.

None of this is your fault, and good for you that you are an adult and now have a say about the people you are made to interact with.

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Some commenters pointed out deeper family failures while still agreeing with the boundary.

Stardust_Shinah − NTA You're absolutely in the right to want to keep your kid away from someone openly showing so much vitrol.

You want a good life for your kid and there's nothing wrong with setting an obviously needed boundary. However, did your dad not get him any kind of therapy?

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It sounds like he was never given the tools to process his mom's death and your dad just moved on which drives lots of kids crazy.

Don't get me wrong there's no excuse for his behavior but it seems weird your dad didn't do more to get the behaviors to stop.

BriefHorror − NTA your dad is mourning his kid but he doesn't realize or maybe doesn't want to acknowledge what it did to his other kids.

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He desperately wwants peace but that kid is way beyond help. Idk how his wife married that kind of h__red.

WholeAd2742 − NTA You don't need to involve your dad's drama with your half brother into your life or your child's.

Dad needs to wake up and address the very real problem and anger that his son is expressing over the loss of his mom. Family needs counseling badly

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A few responses were blunt or lightly sardonic while reinforcing the same conclusion.

GirlDad2023_ − Is your dad THAT SPINELESS to allow his son from his first wife to treat him your mother like that? I would say dad is 95% of the...

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I would cut this loser step-brother off 100% and never see him or his children again. There's no reason to allow anyone that toxic into any part of your life....

keesouth − NTA, I'm also betting this will be easy because I doubt your half-brother would want to celebrate or be around your kid.

This story highlights the lasting damage unresolved grief and unchecked hostility can cause within families. Faced with becoming a parent herself, the young woman chose to prioritize emotional safety over maintaining appearances or long-standing family traditions.

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Is it reasonable to expect forgiveness when harmful behavior has never changed? At what point does giving someone “more time” become denial? Readers are encouraged to share how they would handle protecting a child while navigating painful family relationships.

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