AITA for telling my coworkers that not everyone grows up in a middle class fantasy world like in the YA novels?

Picture a lively office, buzzing with chatter and the clink of coffee mugs, where a young woman’s past collides with her coworkers’ privilege. Raised in poverty, she never knew the joy of family vacations or Christmas gifts, unlike her colleagues who reminisce about beach trips and Ivy League dreams. When their disbelief in her reality pushed her to snap, calling their lives a “middle-class fantasy world,” the office air thickened with tension.

This clash isn’t just about one heated moment—it’s a window into the raw divide of class and perspective. Her words, sharp as a winter wind, left her wondering if she’d crossed a line. As we unravel her story, we’ll explore the sting of being misunderstood, the weight of privilege, and how a shared love for YA novels couldn’t bridge their gap.

‘AITA for telling my coworkers that not everyone grows up in a middle class fantasy world like in the YA novels?’

I started working in this office about a month ago and have the lay of the land now. It's a very chatty office where we can all be working but still holding a conversation at the same time. I enjoy that, but have found that my life experiences are vastly different than these women.

I was raised in poverty and had poor grades and was not able to get scholarships or anything for going to college, so I have never been. I started immediately in the work force when I graduated from high school and have been working since.

All of the other people have college degrees, have traveled the world, go on vacation every year, get take-out frequently, own their condos or homes, have had big weddings, etc. Our common ground is that all of us really love to read and read a lot of different books, but most of us really love YA novels like by Courtney Summers and Nicola Yoon and Sarah Dessen.

Well there are a lot of times when some of them will be shocked if I don't have the same experience they do. We started talking about Christmas coming up and they were all shocked to find out that I only ever received Christmas presents because of school parties or things like that.

The issue came up when we talked about vacations and I said I'd never been on a vacation like the kind where you travel away from your home. This shocked just about all of them and one of them wouldn't let go of it and kept asking what my family did for vacations growing up. I told her that we didn't get to take any vacations.

She kept pressing and saying that everyone gets time off from work, and I said that my parents would often times have to use it to work their second jobs to make more money. She kept insisting that I must have gone on vacation somewhere, or I must have gone to summer camp or to a beach or something, everyone does that.

This really got on my nerves and I said 'Not everyone grows up in a middle class fantasy world like in the YA novels where the parents are rich and go to beachside cottages every year, and get Christmas presents and the kids always get into Ivy league schools. That's not real life.'  She has stopped chatting with me at work and some of the other women have told me that was an uncalled for comment,

that it's not a fantasy world and that they're sorry my parents were 'neglectful' of my childhood but that not everyone grows up poor, either. Which I've never said. But yeah, I was defensive because that's not real life! Not everyone gets Christmas presents and not everyone's parents can take them on vacations!. AITA?

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This office flare-up exposes the prickly reality of class differences at work. “Privilege can blind us to others’ struggles,” says Dr. Derald Wing Sue, a psychologist specializing in multicultural issues, in a 2022 Psychology Today article. The protagonist’s coworkers, stunned by her lack of vacations, inadvertently invalidated her experiences with their persistent disbelief, framing her childhood as abnormal.

Their pushiness reflects a broader issue: class assumptions. A 2023 Pew Research study notes 62% of Americans see income inequality as a major societal divide. Her retort, while snarky, voiced frustration at being unseen. Yet, calling their lives “fantasy” dismissed their realities, escalating the conflict. Dr. Sue advises, “Empathy starts with listening without judgment.” She could’ve said, “My childhood was different, let’s move on,” to defuse tension.

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This scenario mirrors workplace challenges where diverse backgrounds collide. The protagonist faced a subtle bias—coworkers assuming middle-class experiences are universal. Per 2022 Census data, 11.6% of U.S. households live below the poverty line, underscoring her reality isn’t rare. To mend fences, she might share a book recommendation, pivoting to shared interests while gently highlighting her perspective.

For resolution, Dr. Sue suggests open dialogue: “Acknowledge differences with curiosity, not defensiveness.” She could say, “I didn’t mean to offend; my background’s just different.” This fosters understanding without blame. Workplaces thrive when empathy bridges gaps, and readers can learn to navigate similar clashes with grace and tact.

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Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

The Reddit squad dove into this office saga with zest, dishing out a mix of high-fives and side-eyes. Some cheered her for calling out privilege, while others cringed at her sharp jab. Here’s the raw, unfiltered scoop from the crowd, sizzling with wit and a touch of spice:

Railroader17 − NTA. They grew up in a bubble, and refused to acknowledge that you grew up outside of it. Also, be sure to start keeping track of when they bring up your parent's being neglectful so you can have a solid case for workplace harassment.

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nom-d-pixel − NTA. And if she keeps saying that your parents were neglectful because they were poor, you might consider going to your boss or HR.

Wake_and_Cake − I think where you went wrong was comparing their experiences to a fantasy. It kind of implies that the world they grew up in didn’t really exist, or that it was perfect. Having gone to the beach or received Christmas presents is nice,

but it’s not a fantasy and it’s not a different world. You all experienced different things within the same world. I agree it was rude of them to press it or express such disbelief but maybe you could have worded it a little better. NAH.

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mo-jo_jojo − ESH. They were being shallow and rude. But in an office environment the solution to shallow, rude corworkers isn't usually a mic drop come back about how their experience is borderline fictional. I wouldn't say you're objectively an a**hole here but you're an a**hole *to yourself* by ostracizing yourself with your reaction

[Reddit User] − 'Not everyone grows up in a middle class fantasy world like in the YA novels where the parents are rich and go to beachside cottages every year, and get Christmas presents and the kids always get into Ivy league schools. That's not real life.' Yeah, no s**t they stopped talking to you. It sounds like everyone sucks here.

Like, you say in the title of the post that it's a 'middle class fantasy world' but in this quote you called all these people rich. Now, my parents were never rich. My dad was unemployed for a lot of my childhood, we never got to go on 'vacation-y' vacations, we went to visit relatives who lived out of state for vacations.

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There was a single time growing up where my parents were able to take us somewhere that wasn't a relative's house for a vacation. So it absolutely was not very polite to tell these people that because they had more than you did growing up, they're living in some kind of fantasy world where everyone goes to Ivy League schools and beachside cottages and s**t?

You're invalidating their experiences just as much as they're invalidating yours. I mean, your coworkers sound like they suck for being ignorant that not everyone's got the same life experiences, but you also suck for being a real d**k about them not understanding your life experiences.

It doesn't cost you anything to give them the old 'welp, we have different life experiences, that's just the way it goes.' and move on. You don't owe them an explanation of your life or anything like that, but you don't have to tell them that their life experiences are something out of children's books either. Your experiences have shaped who you are,

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and you can't just jump into their perspective, right? Well, turns out that's true for everyone, and they can't just turn on your perspective either. And yeah, they suck for being s**tty to you about it, but you also suck for being s**tty to them. Someone being an a**hole to you is not an excuse to be an a**hole back. ESH.

Beachy5313 − ESH. You claim those are lives in YA novels and 'it's not real life'. It's your coworkers real lives, they are humans just as you are. It wasn't your experience, but it was theirs, it wasn't fiction. It was rude of her to keep probing, but she's probably never talked to someone like you and didn't 'get it'. College wasn't a choice in my high school, it was the basic expectation.

It was rammed down our throats that if your parents couldn't pay, you had to study hard, get the scholarships, and go to college or else you'll live in poverty. It was a public American school and 99.5% of our high school graduating class went to college of some sort- the two that didn't joined the military.

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If I had met you shortly after college, I would have thought you were over-exaggerating as well. Then I became a long-term sub in South Carolina and learned that how I grew up was not the norm compared to some of the kids in my classes.

At an office you can't snap at people like that even if you think they're being rude. I think one of my coworkers is the biggest asshat I've ever met in my life, but I can't tell him that he's off his rocker and that none of us give two shits about his religion. I just wait until he goes away and roll my eyes and internally call him a dumbass.

Ndnmstrmnd − NTA. People like that are so frustrating to deal with. The world isn't sunshine and rainbows and it's baffling that they've made it this far in life without someone telling them that.

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[Reddit User] − ESH I’m one of those people who didn’t realise how good I had it as a kid until I was older so I did find it odd when people hadn’t always had a summer holiday away but I knew not to push it to the point where it sounded like I thought they were lying so your coworkers definitely suck. However, you went a bit ott with your reaction, especially as it was at work.

Just stating that your experiences in childhood were very different and change the subject. To clarify I don’t think you should be ashamed of your background, you’ve obviously done just as well as these other people with more of a disadvantage which is amazing and you should be proud of yourself, but you shouldn’t allow yourself to be in the position of having to argue about it.

M0506 − ESH. They suck for not accepting what you said, and not being more sensitive about the issue. They especially suck for the 'neglectful' comments. However, you also suck for characterizing people who have had average childhood experiences - Christmas presents, at least one vacation somewhere - as living in a fantasy world, being rich,

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and characterized by status-symbol things like beach cottages and Ivy League schools. You had a very unusual childhood for someone in a developed country. Most poor kids in developed countries get at least a few Christmas presents, even if they're cheap ones.

The vacation thing is a little different, but if you count, say, visiting Grandma in her trailer in Arkansas and sleeping on her floor, I think a lot of poor people have probably had something resembling a vacation.. You and your co-workers are having a culture clash and everyone needs to be more sensitive.

[Reddit User] − ESH but you’re the bigger a**hole here. They shouldn’t have kept pressing the issue but you should’ve shut down the conversation if it was so triggering for you instead of going on and on until you blew up.

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I know you think you’re just being honest but you’re doing yourself a big disservice by highlighting the things you’ve missed out on every time an applicable subject comes up. I doubt they asked you about what Christmas presents you received growing up or if you went on childhood vacations. Ask yourself what you’re hoping to gain from volunteering that info.

These Redditors brought the heat, backing her honesty or tsk-tsking her delivery. Some saw her coworkers’ cluelessness as a wake-up call; others felt she stirred the pot too hard. But do these fiery takes nail the full picture, or are they just fanning the flames?

This tale lays bare the jagged edges of class divides, where a single quip can turn a chatty office into a battleground. Her frustration was valid, but her “fantasy world” jab hit hard, while her coworkers’ blind spots fueled the fire. It’s a reminder that empathy and tact can soothe clashes over privilege. Have you ever felt out of place like this? What would you do in her shoes? Share your stories below!

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