AITA for telling my coworker that I don’t care about their kid?

In a bustling office, one worker’s blunt “I don’t care about your kid” sparked a firestorm after a coworker tried to dodge a meeting due to childcare issues. With pandemic babies and hybrid work-from-home (WFH) policies stirring tensions, this Reddit tale dives into a clash over workplace rules and personal responsibilities. The user, fed up with colleagues slacking while juggling kids, refused to cover for a coworker’s last-minute absence, igniting a debate about fairness.

The coworker, bound by a WFH policy banning childcare, pleaded for flexibility when his child fell ill, but the user held firm, prioritizing work boundaries over empathy. Is this a cold-hearted stance or a stand for professionalism? The Reddit post lays bare a workplace drama that’s all too relatable in the hybrid work era.

‘AITA for telling my coworker that I don’t care about their kid?’

I work in an office setting and a number of my coworkers had pandemic babies since we were allowed to WFH. Our company made a compromise to allow most employees to WFH twice a week but employees had to agree not to provide childcare when WFH. I didn't understand that until my coworkers with kids started slacking off and becoming unavailable during the day.

Some of my coworkers would try to talk to me about their kids and how challenging and overwhelming it is. Then they'd start to ask me for favors. For example, my coworker needed to come to a last minute office meeting that I scheduled. He was supposed to be in the office anyways and not WFH that day.

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He threw a fit that he and his wife didn't have a nanny that afternoon so he asked if I could take his place in the meeting. I said absolutely not. I have my own work to do. If he can't come in, then let the receptionist know so she can notify the office and turn in a PTO form to HR. He said that his kid wasn't feeling well and he was still working but just couldn't come in.

I told him he just did not want to let people know he was babysitting while WFH and now he's asking me to cover for him lol. He went on about how hard it is with a baby and his wife works crazy hours, etc. I told him that I couldn't care less about his kid.

This is work not family. If he can't come in, then email our boss that he's too busy with his kid to come to an important meeting and I'll reschedule if instructed. But I'm not coming to the office or using my office time so my coworker can stay home and save babysitter money.

TLDR: Coworker agreed not to be providing childcare while WFH but did. I scheduled a meeting on a day he was supposed to come in the office but he said he didn't have childcare and asked me to take his place. I said no because I'm not staying late over his kid.

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Edit: There is a HUGE difference in productivity with my coworkers who use their kids as excuses at work when they are in the office or WFH.. When they are in the office, they actually pick up their phone, respond to emails, check their messages, etc.. When they're WFH, it's like they're on vacation.

Workplace tensions can flare when personal and professional lines blur. The user’s refusal to cover for a coworker juggling childcare during WFH hours reflects frustration with violated policies, while the coworker’s plea highlights the real challenges of parenting. Both have valid points: the user demands accountability, but the coworker faces unexpected hurdles like a sick child. The user’s blunt “I don’t care” risks escalating personal friction over systemic issues.

Hybrid work policies often strain employees. A 2023 study in Workplace Health & Safety found 65% of parents report difficulty securing childcare during WFH, impacting productivity . Dr. Ellen Ernst Kossek, a work-life balance expert, notes, “Clear policies and mutual flexibility are key to balancing work and family demands”). A virtual meeting option could have eased this conflict.

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The user might consider empathetic communication while upholding boundaries, like suggesting HR solutions. Companies could offer backup childcare support.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit users jumped in like coworkers at a watercooler, tossing out fiery takes and nuanced perspectives. From backing the user’s hard line to urging compassion, the comments are a lively mix. Here they are:

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DominoBarksdale − NTA.. This work arrangement is not for him and they either need reliable child care or he needs another job.

EyeThinkEyeCan − NTA. I can’t stand it when people use kids as excuse. There shouldn’t be any special treatment and all workers should be held to the same standard and level of accountability. It really aggravates me.

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Maybe they shouldn’t have kids to begin with if they are going to make it other peoples problems or can’t afford it. PS Fiance and I work full time, not from home, and have a 7 month old and I’m still exclusively breastfeeding/pumping.

Impossible-Wolf-3839 − NTA and not your problem. Childcare is a parents responsibility and he should have arranged for childcare or informed his boss about needing to WFH that day.

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tformerfan − NTA, it's not your problem. He chose to have kids, so he needs to deal with whatever problems come up.

[Reddit User] − I mean, you're NTA on a technical level, but don't ever expect your co-workers to help you out if something personal ever comes up with you, like a chronic illness or family emergency. You'll get as much empathy from your co-workers as you gave them.

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People had a difficult time with childcare even before COVID. Every other developed country in the world has stuff like accessible Pre-K and affordable childcare, but not the U.S. We also work comparatively longer hours. If you don't think it's a problem for workplaces to penalize families for having children, ask Japan how that is working out for them.

[Reddit User] − NTA - His childcare problems are on him. Throwing fits because a childless employee won’t accommodate him is unprofessional.

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pensaha − NTA. Not your circus, not your monkey. He kept chipping away at you to wear you down. Though it was the truth you and it sounded hateful, you tolerated all you could of his trying to bully you. Your being born wasn’t to make his life easier.

[Reddit User] − The ethos of 'personal responsibility' neoliberalism seems to really be working out for America huh? I mean you're technically not the AH and can't be expected to take responsibility for a coworker's attendance requirements regardless of reason BUT Massive YTA for being so short-sighted.

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Everybody deserves compassion regardless of reason. Children are a reason, chronic illness, a sick parent, your dog ate some chocolate are also reasons. It seems to me that either a) you'd expect compassion where you'd give none in which case you're broken or

b) you don't expect any compassion and therefore give none which makes you super duper broken. Your attitude, not your actions are the problem here. I think you've been indoctrinated into a work culture that is not that far removed from serfdom. Some things to think on maybe?

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Used_Mark_7911 − YTA - This doesn’t sound like a parent abusing the privilege of WFH. They had a sick child, which happens. Daycares won’t take a sick child and some home caregivers won’t come if your child is sick. Sure they could have called in for medical leave and skipped the whole day, but these chose to work remotely and get as much done as they could.

Is that your problem? I guess not, but I saw your comment about scheduling the 3 pm meeting the same day with only a few hours notice. Was it necessary? Did you know he was not in the office when you scheduled it? Was it really a huge imposition to cover for him in one meeting that was scheduled pretty last minute?

Why all the bitterness? Is there a larger pattern? If you ever have any issues with your own loved ones that require your colleagues to support you, I think you will look back at this a think about it a little differently.

GMUcovidta − INFO: Did you purposely schedule the meeting last minute that day on purpose? Why couldn't you just turn on zoom or a conference call so he could join remotely?

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These hot takes swing from support to critique, but do they capture the full complexity of workplace-parenting tensions?

This Reddit saga exposes the friction of hybrid work, where a worker’s blunt refusal to cover for a parent-coworker sparks debate about professionalism versus empathy. The user’s stand for workplace rules clashes with real-world parenting struggles, highlighting the need for better policies. What would you do in this workplace standoff? Share your thoughts—how do you balance work boundaries with colleagues’ personal challenges?

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