AITA for telling my brothers girlfriend that anyone who told her to be herself couldn’t have given her worse advice?

Paisley King Hours
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In a cozy dining room, the clink of cutlery is drowned out by an endless stream of chatter from a new guest—her brother’s girlfriend, meeting the family for the first time. The 22-year-old host, sipping wine all day, feels her patience fray as the girlfriend mispronounces her name and calls her parents “mum and dad,” unsettling the room’s warmth.

This Reddit AITA post captures a cringe-worthy clash at a family dinner, where nerves and alcohol collide. The girlfriend’s relentless talking and refusal to eat the meal push the woman to a breaking point, unleashing a cutting remark that silences the table and strains family ties. It’s a tale that resonates with anyone who’s endured an awkward guest or let frustration get the better of them.

‘AITA for telling my brothers girlfriend that anyone who told her to be herself couldn’t have given her worse advice?’

My brother (m27) recently brought his new girlfriend to dinner at our house. They’ve been together for a while but we haven’t met her due to quarantine and stuff. I (f22) currently live at home, but I’m planning on buying a house sometime within the next year.

I wasn’t overly enthusiastic about meeting her as my brother doesn’t exactly have the best track record when it comes to girls. Firstly, she kept getting my name wrong. It’s a common name, in the top ten current baby names, there is no possible way she didn’t know how to pronounce it.

Then she kept referring to my parents as mum and dad which they were a bit weirded out by considering they’d never met her. Dinner was possibly the most awkward hour of my life. She did not stop talking for a literal second.

She would stop, my parents would go to open their mouths and then she’d start talking again, starting with “yeah so” every time as if they’d asked her a question. She also refused to eat what my parents made and kept asking my brother to get her things like a glass of water and stuff.

I was a bit drunk, I’d been drinking most of the day and i just couldn’t listen to her droning on anymore so I told her that anyone, anyone being my brother, who told her to be herself tonight couldn’t have given her worse advice.

Room went silent, the whole deal, she left and my brother has been furious with me ever since. I told him he needs to find someone half sane and he hasn’t spoken to me since. My parents also have said I went too far. AITA?

Family dinners can be a minefield, especially with new faces. The girlfriend’s behavior—misnaming the host, monopolizing conversation, and refusing food—suggests social anxiety or poor etiquette, grating on the family. The woman’s drunken outburst, while sharp, reflects a buildup of irritation, though it escalated the tension unnecessarily.

Dr. Susan Heitler, a clinical psychologist, notes, “Alcohol lowers inhibitions, often amplifying impulsive reactions” (Psychology Today). The woman’s comment, though witty to some, was deliberately hurtful, targeting the girlfriend’s personality rather than addressing specific behaviors. This approach alienated her brother and parents, who saw it as cruel.

Social missteps, like those of the girlfriend, are common in high-pressure settings, with 74% of people reporting anxiety at family gatherings, per a 2019 APA study. Her actions, while rude, may stem from nerves rather than malice. The woman’s drinking exacerbated her reaction, turning a manageable annoyance into a public humiliation.

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A better approach would have been a private conversation with her brother or redirecting the girlfriend’s chatter tactfully. Moving forward, an apology for the harshness, paired with clear communication about expectations at future gatherings, could mend ties. The woman might also reflect on her drinking to avoid similar outbursts, fostering healthier family interactions.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit largely deemed the woman the asshole, criticizing her harsh comment as unnecessarily cruel, especially toward a nervous guest. They argued her drunken state didn’t excuse demeaning the girlfriend in front of the family, urging an apology.

Some acknowledged the girlfriend’s behavior as rude, suggesting everyone sucked here (ESH), but emphasized the woman’s response was disproportionate. The consensus highlighted the need for tact and restraint, even when frustrated by an annoying guest.

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panic_bread − YTA. She seems socially awkward and annoying, but not a bad person. You, on the other hand, were mean and cruel and a total a**hole. You owe her and your brother an apology. And if drinking makes you act like this, quit drinking.

Phy44 − YTA. Why did you post this? You couldn't possibly think you weren't an a**hole.

[Reddit User] − YTA yes she sounds horrible to be around but you sound like a brat. A spoiled sloppy drunk brat.

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[Reddit User] − YTA The girl is meeting your parents *for the first time*. She was clearly nervous. Then you come along and judge her while you were drunk, and now you're asking if YTA? Seriously?

Marvalbert22 − YTA - I am curious what you buying a house in the next year has to do with the story but regardless yes YTA. You don’t seem to have gone into the dinner with the most open mind and yes not eating what was prepared and talking over people is not the best table manner but what you said really goes above and beyond bad table manners

elemonated − As someone with an uncommon name, ha*ha* oh how the turn tables. I will say that while doing customer service, I've noticed that people who have 'common' names tend* to be so much madder than people with uncommon names, which is mind-boggling privileged.

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There was a poor woman who essentially had to correct us more or less every time she called as her last name is difficult to sound out and she's never gotten as mad as the one time an Ashleigh was asked to spell her name.

Anyway YTA. She sounds awkward and nervous and sure, that can turn people into not great dinner companions, but you sound like a real one. What did you think the reaction would be?

Applause from your parents and your brother telling you you've saved him from his 'track record?' She could be the most inconsiderate person in the world but you meant to hurt her and embarrass your brother. Don't kid yourself.

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ObviouslyAyanna − I’m gonna go with ESH. Your brother’s gf isn’t socially awkward, she’s weird and rude. I get asking your brother to get her things in someone else’s house, or the diarrhea of the mouth due to nerves, or even the referring to your parents as mum and dad, some people are just like that.

But purposely messing up your name multiple times despite it being rather common, and refusing to eat the host’s food is really rude. You, however, did not pass go, or collect $200, you smashed the hammer down on her self esteem. I personally found your comment hilarious, which is how I know you’re an a**hole, because I, too, am an a**hole. “So yeah...” everyone sucks here.

cocopinesmoot − YTA- there are plenty of other ways you could have handled the situation. I understand that you were drunk, but that does not excuse you speaking that way to someone you have never met/do not know.

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There are plenty of other ways you could have gone about confronting her in a way that was not embarrassing for her. She was talkative and somewhat eccentric,sure, but that does not mean you get to demean her in front of your brother and parents.

LoisLaneEl − Obviously YTA You intentionally hurt the girl’s feelings and your brother’s in the process. Also, if you’d been drinking all day, your memory was probably s**t and you probably don’t even know if she was talking the whole dinner. There’s no reason for day drinking right now, I think you might need some help.

jaywinner − ESH. She sounds unbearable but god damn your response is way over the line.

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This story reveals how quickly a tense dinner can spiral, especially when alcohol fuels sharp tongues. How do you handle awkward guests or family friction? Share your experiences—have you faced a similar clash, and how did you keep the peace or make amends?

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