AITA for telling my brother that his wife is right and I’m embarrassed to be related to him?

The phone buzzed with an urgency that hinted at trouble, pulling a young woman into a family storm she didn’t expect. Her brother’s voice crackled through, seeking an ally after a heated fight with his wife, who’d just given birth weeks ago. His careless jab at her post-pregnancy stretch marks had left her wounded, their marriage teetering on fragile ground. The sister, thrust into this raw drama, faced a choice that would test her loyalty and spark a fiery clash.

Caught between her brother’s plea and her own sense of right, she didn’t hesitate to call out his insensitivity. Her bold words—“I’m embarrassed to be related to you”—echoed the pain of a new mother betrayed by harsh judgment. This tale of family tension and postpartum vulnerability paints a vivid scene, inviting readers to step into a story where empathy battles entitlement, leaving us all wondering: where do you draw the line?

‘AITA for telling my brother that his wife is right and I’m embarrassed to be related to him?’

My (24F) brother (28M) called me yesterday to back him up in a fight between him and his wife (27F). Some background context before we begin, my brother’s wife had just given birth to a son a few weeks ago. So on to what happened in their fight. My brother said he made a passing remark about how his wife’s stretch marks made her look less attractive.

(These stretch marks are as a result of her pregnancy + giving birth.) His wife got upset and called him an a**hole for making such a comment. She said that the stretch marks were as a result of bearing their child. My brother said that she couldn’t blame him for not liking her stretch marks (quoting him exactly “who likes how stretch marks look?”)

They’re not on speaking terms now and my brother basically called me to ask me to talk to his wife for him. I told him no, she was right, he was an insensitive a**hole and that he needed to apologise to her or s**ew off. He said that it was unfair of me to be so unpleasant to him and that he thought I would support him since I’m his sister.

I told him “f**k that right now I’m embarrassed to be related to you”. He told me I was being extreme and that his feelings were deeply hurt. He called me an a**hole for this and said that I was petty.. And yes, I may have been a bit extreme. But am I really the a**hole.

A new mother’s body is a testament to strength, yet one careless comment can shatter her confidence. The brother’s remark about his wife’s stretch marks reveals a deeper issue: a lack of empathy during a vulnerable time. According to a 2023 study from the American Psychological Association, 80% of new mothers experience body image concerns postpartum, often exacerbated by external judgments . His wife’s hurt is understandable—she bore their child, and his critique dismisses her sacrifice.

The brother’s expectation of blind sibling loyalty adds another layer of tension. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes, “Empathy is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship; dismissing a partner’s feelings creates a rift that’s hard to mend” . Here, the brother’s refusal to see his wife’s perspective isolates him, while his sister’s blunt honesty aims to jolt him into accountability.

This situation reflects broader societal pressures on women to “bounce back” after childbirth. The sister’s refusal to enable her brother’s behavior highlights a need for respect over outdated beauty standards. Instead of doubling down, he could rebuild trust by apologizing sincerely and educating himself on postpartum challenges.

For solutions, open communication is key. The brother should acknowledge his wife’s feelings, perhaps through a heartfelt conversation or even couples’ counseling. Resources like Postpartum Support International offer guidance for navigating such tensions. The sister’s role? Continue supporting her sister-in-law while encouraging her brother to grow, fostering a dialogue that heals rather than divides.

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Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, dishing out a mix of fiery support and sharp-witted jabs. They rallied behind the sister, with some tossing in humor as sharp as a new mom’s exhaustion. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the crowd:

Rogues_Gambit − NTA 'that his feelings were deeply hurt' well at least he knows how his wife feels

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J0sey_W4les_23 − NTA - 'Can't you tell my wife that everyone thinks she looks gross now, not just me?'. Your bro is heading for a divorce...

thatsharkchick − NTA. His feelings were 'hurt?' His wife may now permanently question her appearance because of his insensitive comments. F**k him. Stretch marks are tiger strips earned while BUILDING ANOTHER HUMAN LIFE. Also, your brother is being either super s**tty or super stupid to assume you'd blindly support him because of your relationship.

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the-mirrors-truth − NTA, Wow, sensitive much? You telling him he's insensitive but him telling his wife she's unattractive a few weeks after giving birth is totally fine? Pfft.

jahfuckry − NTA 100% i can’t believe he would try to use a female sibling to prove his point because he thought that would make his wife roll over. she brought life into the world it’s the most beautiful thing ever, stretch marks and all.

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pandatree_157 − NTA but your brother sure is. I’m glad you didn’t enable your brother’s AH behaviour and told it to him straight because someone had to. His wife just spent nine months taking on the physical and emotional toll of pregnancy, went through *labour* which is often extremely painful and your brother is more concerned with how her stretch marks look? How shallow can you be?

[Reddit User] − NTA. Wonder how many people your brother is going to try and get to take his side before it dawns on him that *maybe* complaining about physical alterations his wife acquired while gestating *his kid* is not a generally accepted thing to do. Has he always had his head this firmly lodged up his ass, or is this a new development?

efm270 − NTA. Never make a negative comment re: the attractiveness of the woman who just have birth to your child a few weeks ago. Jesus.

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Puzzled-Nobody − Can you imagine the f**king audacity it takes to say 'Hey sis, can you do me a solid and destroy my wife's self-esteem just a teensy bit more?' Like, in what universe is he not the a**hole?

This is peak male fragility if I ever saw it. Be sure to tell your brother that he brought it on himself when his soon-to-be ex-wife serves him the divorce papers. NTA, OP, and thank you for sticking up for your sister-in-law.

Master-Manipulation − NTA. His wife got those stretch marks because he knocked her up and she had the kid. He ought to give her respect

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These Redditors brought the heat, praising the sister’s backbone while roasting her brother’s lack of tact. Some saw divorce papers on the horizon; others urged him to wake up to his wife’s strength. But do their spicy takes capture the full story, or are they just fanning the flames? One thing’s clear: this family drama has tongues wagging.

This story of a sister standing firm against her brother’s insensitivity strikes a chord, reminding us how words can wound or heal in fragile moments. The Reddit community’s roar of support for the sister and her sister-in-law underscores a universal truth: empathy matters, especially when family ties are tested. What would you do if you were caught between loyalty to a sibling and defending what’s right? Share your thoughts and experiences—let’s keep this conversation going!

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