AITA for telling my brother and his fiance “No”?

Imagine biking miles across a new city, chasing job leads to rebuild your life, only to land in a house reeking of dog waste and family tension. That’s where this Redditor found themselves, crashing with their brother and his fiancée while scraping by on a new job’s paycheck. When the fiancée dropped a $700 bombshell for dog-damaged doors and a torn-up yard—issues predating their arrival—the demand to pay up felt like a slap. Standing firm, they said “no,” sparking a showdown that left them facing eviction.

This tale of chewed blinds and family betrayal dives into the messy clash of fairness, financial strain, and sibling loyalty. With the brother staying silent and the fiancée wielding threats, the Redditor’s refusal stirred a storm. Is it fair to foot the bill for someone else’s mess? Let’s unpack this drama where dog damage and family ties collide.

‘AITA for telling my brother and his fiance “No”?’

I recently moved in with my brother and his fiance. Trying to get my life back on track, they gave me a place to stay because I was in a new city with no money. Since then I've bounced around a couple of jobs and that has made paying bills a little difficult, but I managed to do so by getting a small loan from my mother.

The job hunt was as much physical as it was digital. I was on several job finding sites all day putting in applications. When I wasn't on my phone I was riding my bike for several miles around town putting in applications. When I got a job finally, I began work right away and worked as much as possible.

The job pays weekly, and rent was due soon. I communicated with my brother that I didn't know how much my check would be, and that I didn't know if it would be enough to cover my portion of the bills. Surprise, it wasn't. Thankfully my mother lent me the rest of my rent. I make sure to let everyone in the house understand my situation.

Fast forward two weeks and Fiance tells me there is an additional 700$ charge added to rent and I have to pay 1/3. After a couple questions she explains to me that it's because their dogs have done severe damage to the house/yard and the landlord wants a new security deposit.

A day later I was mulling that over in my head, and decided it was not fair for me to pay for the damages caused by their dogs. The damage was done prior to me living there, and was caused by their pets. Heavily damaged doors and frames chewed up, blinds chewed to bits, the stench of dog waste throughout the house, a yard that had been ripped up.. As I explain to them that I think it's unfair, then it happens.

Fiance tells me it doesn't matter, I live in her house and I have to pay for the damages her dogs caused, and Brother won't even acknowledge me. I firmly state that I disagree and that I won't be paying. She smiles and says, 'You can't even pay rent, you get mommy to pay it for you.

Pay me or I'll kick you out.' I retort, ' Yes and I'm in debt to her, not you. Go ahead and kick me out.' Cast a glance to my brother who is just sitting and staring at me, without a word to say. She says 'ok, you're out'.. Aita for not agreeing to pay for damages?

Family homes can turn into battlegrounds when money and responsibility collide. The Redditor’s refusal to pay for pre-existing dog damage wasn’t just fair—it was logical. The fiancée’s demand to split the $700 landlord charge ignores the fact that the damage predated their tenancy. Housing expert Julie McDonough states, “Tenants aren’t liable for damages caused before their lease begins” . The fiancée’s threat to evict, especially without legal notice, reeks of manipulation, not authority.

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This taps into a broader issue: tenant rights in shared living spaces. A 2023 report found 30% of informal tenants face unfair financial demands from housemates or family landlords . The brother’s silence and the fiancée’s bullying highlight a power imbalance, exploiting the Redditor’s financial vulnerability. Their mother’s loan for rent shows support, but the fiancée’s jab about “mommy paying” was a low blow.

McDonough advises tenants to “know local eviction laws and document agreements.” The Redditor should research their city’s tenant protections, as most require 30-60 days’ written notice for eviction. They should secure a new place quickly, given the toxic dynamic, and keep records of all payments and communications. Readers should remember: standing up for fairness in shared spaces builds respect, not resentment.

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See what others had to share with OP:

The Reddit gang brought the heat, cheering the Redditor’s backbone and roasting the fiancée’s entitlement. From tenant rights tips to quips about doggy disasters, here’s the raw take from the crowd:

xpotential31 − NTA. The dogs’ damage has nothing to do with you. Unfortunately sounds like you will need to find a new place to live, but hopefully you won’t have to deal with such nonsense and passive aggressive behaviour. You’ve dome nothing wrong!!

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TheFalconKid − NTA, they were basically trying to use you to pay for their s**ew ups. Also, idk your relationship with your mother, but when you're stable in your finances, I'd go pretty big for her next birthday/ mother's day. She sounds like a very reliable person.

SuzanneStudies − Congrats on the new job. Rent increases should be split but not damages from dogs (or other dependents). NTA.

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blazingwaffle58 − NTA, you shouldn't have to pay that But.... it looks like your choices are to pay it or get out. Id be looking for a new place if I were you.

PARA9535307 − NTA. It sounds like you aren’t on the lease with them, right? Assuming that’s true: You aren’t a party to *their* lease with *their* landlord (as in, *you* didn’t sign jack, it’s only between the three of them), so you aren’t responsible for whatever *their* landlord assesses *them* for as a part of *their* lease.

They (brother and FSIL) are actually your landlords in this situation (you’re basically a sublet), and they can’t assess you for *pre-existing* damage, whether it was their dogs that caused it or not.. So that cost is a *them* problem, through and through, not a *you* problem.

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Furthermore, as your landlords, they can’t just *poof* kick you out like that. You’re a tenant now, and they have to abide by your city’s legal processes for ending a tenancy. The legal process varies A LOT by location, so you’ll *need* to research what the laws are in your location. Can’t stress that enough.

But to give you an idea, it’s not uncommon for it to involve serving you with an official notice (typically written) of the tenancy ending, often a full 30-60 days in advance of the required move out date. Actual eviction proceedings can’t even be filed with the court until *after* that time period has expired, and only IF you didn’t move out by then.

Some locations will actually award *you* damages, sometimes really big ones, if they fail to follow the legal process correctly. *So do your research.* And I don’t bring that up because I think you should fight to stay. No, fiancé sounds unbearable,

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and I’d try to get out just as quickly as possible. Just trying to point out that’s it’s very unlikely (do your research!) they can just throw you out immediately like this. Meaning, *do your research*, figure out how long you’re entitled to have, and then use that time wisely to find another (hopefully *much* better) situation to move into.

Double_Reindeer_6884 − NTA and you need an official 30 day to vacate notice as youre a tenant

alexxxxxxxei − Joey saying 'I'm not talking to you, you broke my fridge' is all I can think of after reading this haha Of course you're NTA. Why should you be expected to pay for s**t their dogs did, especially if it happened before you moved on.. D**k move by your brother though too.

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redditavenger2019 − Nta. You may be out but guess what? The $700 is still due. They did noting but alienate a family member.

[Reddit User] − Nta They clearly thought they could manipulate and bully you into paying for their problems. They’re insanely entitled and wanted to take advantage of you. I hope you find some place better to leave and cut them off.

Redefined421 − NTA. She’s trying to make her debts your responsibility, and she’s using threats and manipulation to accomplish it. Nope. Nope. Nope. If you’ve paid rent (regardless of where the money came from), she’ll need to go through the whole eviction process, and at minimum, it’ll probably require 30 days written notice.

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These Redditors rallied for fairness, but are they overlooking the family’s side or just calling out a clear injustice? Their spicy takes underline one thing: you don’t pay for someone else’s mess.

This story exposes the chaos when family, finances, and furry culprits collide. The Redditor’s firm “no” to paying for pre-existing dog damage was a stand for fairness, even if it cost them their home. It’s a reminder that boundaries matter, especially when living with family. Have you ever faced unfair demands in a shared home? Share your stories—what would you do when family tries to pin their problems on you?

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