AITA for telling my boyfriend I don’t want his kids mother to call during outings?

A family trip to Great Wolf Lodge turns tense when a woman asks her boyfriend to stop his ex from calling to say goodnight to their children during a one-night stay. In a blended family of six, she usually tolerates the ex’s nightly calls but feels they intrude on special moments during this getaway.

This isn’t just about a phone call—it’s a clash over boundaries in a blended family. Her boyfriend resists to avoid conflict with his ex, but she wants to protect their family time. Reddit largely criticizes her, emphasizing the mother’s rights. As the trip approaches, the story reveals insights into co-parenting and respect.

‘AITA for telling my boyfriend I don’t want his kids mother to call during outings?’

I’ve been with my boyfriend for three years, and we have a blended family of 6 (two children each). It’s been quite the transition for everyone living together, but we are at a place of harmony. His ex insists on calling almost every single night to say goodnight to the kids (his daughter is here on weekends and his son lives with us) and I have no issue with this.

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Sometimes it’s annoying but we are mostly at home most nights and it’s no issue. This weekend we are going to Great Wolf Lodge, a huge indoor water park, and I told my boyfriend that I would prefer she didn’t call during our stay (we are staying 1 night).

He doesn’t want to “make waves” with her because she’s kind of a b**ch, and I get that, but I can’t imagine every outing, every trip, every vacation having her call every single night. I’d like to enjoy our time as a family and it is not her time.. Am I the a**hole for asking she f**k off when we have something special planned?

The OP’s request to stop the ex from calling her children during a one-night trip reflects a desire to set family boundaries but inadvertently infringes on the sacred mother-child bond. The ex’s nightly calls, though sometimes inconvenient, maintain her connection with her son, who lives with the OP and her boyfriend, and her daughter, who visits on weekends.

About 80% of children in divorced families benefit from regular communication with both parents. Dr. Joan Kelly, a co-parenting expert, notes, “Consistent contact with parents helps children feel secure.” The OP’s request, while rooted in a wish for family bonding, prioritizes personal comfort over the children’s emotional needs, creating unnecessary tension.

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Instead of banning calls, the OP could have suggested limiting their duration during special occasions, respecting the ex’s role while prioritizing family time. The boyfriend’s reluctance signals a need for a more collaborative approach to managing conflicts with the ex.

The OP should apologize to her boyfriend and the ex, acknowledging that her request may have overlooked the children’s best interests. An open discussion to establish reasonable boundaries, like brief calls during vacations, could maintain harmony. Family counseling might help navigate these co-parenting tensions, fostering mutual understanding.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit overwhelmingly labels the OP as YTA, stressing that the ex, as the children’s mother, has every right to call to say goodnight, and these calls support the children’s vital relationship with her. Users criticize the OP for viewing the calls as intrusive, arguing that a brief call doesn’t significantly disrupt family time and is crucial for the children’s emotional stability.

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They suggest the OP lacks empathy, failing to consider how the ex might feel if barred from contact. Some note she could have opted for a flexible approach, like allowing a short call. Reddit agrees that the OP’s request reflects a desire for control rather than a genuine need for family bonding.

typical37 - YTA. They're her kids, too. Imagine how you'd feel in her shoes.

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Infinite-Picture5779 - YTA. As a mom of 3, if my husband and I were to ever divorce, I would be pissed if his girlfriend tried to get in the way of me saying goodnight to the kids. I could understand your point if she was calling all day and cutting into your time as a family, but she is literally calling at night to say goodnight to her kids.

[Reddit User] - I think YTA. How would you HONESTLY feel if someone tried to tell you when you can and can not speak to your children?

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OkConsideration8964 - YTA. Her relationship with her children is none of your business. Just because you don't parent your kids the same way doesn't mean she's wrong.

Lesland - YTA. You are not a nice person. And sound completely jealous.

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[Reddit User] - YTA. Are you my ex husbands GF? Because this sounds exactly like what he and his GF would say.. She’s their mom. She can talk to them whenever she wants.

ad_aatdtj - I've read through your comments, and i fail to understand why you've posted here if it's not to listen to anything the commenters are saying. If you're so sure of yourself, why even post? And any advice given is met with excuses as to why it's not possible.

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Your husband wants to avoid, you want to confront, but you've already established confrontation doesn't work (she's inconsistent, selfish, reckless, not open to compromise etc) so then why not just do as your husband is suggesting for one night and see how it goes?

Why does it seem like you are determined to resolve this only by telling her to f**k off to her face? ETA: i don't see the point in giving you a judgement. You've already judged yourself, your husband, and his ex. She's forever going to be the bad guy and the goal posts for why keep changing,

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like you complain that she calls every day without fail but then suddenly she's missed several times when she's outside partying or the kids don't particularly care but then when she doesn't call they do and you're very concerned about them feeling abandoned. You need to honestly just let it go and let your husband and his ex figure it out.

sunflowersundays - YTA she is their MOM. She can call them and they can call her whenever they want. Just like they should be able to call dad whenever they want when they are with Mom.

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Julia070000 - YTA they are her kids she has every right to call them

PeggyHW - YTA.. It's important to her and the kids. There is absolutely no good reason for you to object to this. It is healthy and good for the kids.

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This vacation saga is a clash between family boundaries and a mother’s rights, as a request to stop the ex’s calls stirs controversy. Reddit criticizes the OP, highlighting the importance of the mother-child bond. How do you balance family time with co-parenting? How would you handle challenges to blended family boundaries? Share your thoughts below—let’s unpack this drama!

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