AITA for telling my BIL that if I have to breastfeed inside then he has to go and be insufferable somewhere else?

Venus Hours
Comments 0 Comments

A joyful birthday party for a new grandfather took a tense turn when a young mother’s choice to breastfeed her baby sparked a clash. With her in-laws’ blessing to nurse freely, she faced a snide remark from her brother-in-law, whose outdated views and creepy comments pushed her patience to the brink.

Her sharp comeback silenced him but ruffled feathers among family, leaving her questioning her stance. This Reddit tale of breastfeeding boundaries and bold retorts dives into family dynamics and respect. Let’s unpack this heated party moment.

‘AITA for telling my BIL that if I have to breastfeed inside then he has to go and be insufferable somewhere else?’

My (25F) husband (28M) and I just had our first baby four months ago, we're just recently visiting family and letting more people outside our parents meet our child. My FIL birthday was yesterday and they throw him a small party, so my husband and I decided to join and took our baby with us.

It's important to add that my BIL(27M) (my husband's sister(30F)husband) doesn't like me that much because of the way I drees, express myself and talk (I say a lot of bad words). His favorite thing to say it's ''If you were my woman\_\_\_'' followed by something really stupid. My husband thinks that he might have a thing for me, but I don't care and neither does he tbh, he finds it funny.

They have two kids tho, a 7M and a 4M. 4M is a sweet boy, really polite and well behaved while 7M has been acting out and misbehaving, I have nothing against him, and my SIL and BIL aren't really the type of parents to let their kids run around, breaking things and doing whatever they want, I'll give them that much.

Yesterday at a party, my baby got hungry while we were all eating cake. I had already asked my mother and father in law if it was okay for me to nurse her wherever I want because she might get hungry while we're all chatting or hanging out or if the would prefer I do it inside, I didn't mind because it was FIL's birthday after all.

They both said that I could do it wherever I want because when my SIL got pregnant they never asked her to do it somewhere else and it was just fair, so I thanked them. I was wearing a sundress so when she cried, I just popped a boob and nursed her right there.

My nephew (7M) told my BIL ''Daddy! Boobie, boobie! Aunt \[OP\] has her boobie out'' and 4M just said ''boobie?'' with the sweetest voice. My BIL cleared his throat and asked me to go inside because his kids were seeing me, I said no because FIL and MIL already said it was okay and that her kids had to deal with it,

my SIL asked him to stop and truth is, they didn't care for that long and both kids went back to their cake quickly. He was seating near me and he just got a little more close and whispered ''I swear it... If you were my woman you would've breastfeed inside'' I just smiled

and said out loud ''If I have to breastfeed inside, then you have to go and be insufferable somewhere else sweetie'' He got hella mad of course, but said nothing else and when we were leaving, my SIL said that it was wrong and my MIL kinda agreed, since MIL was the host, I'm feeling a bit bad, so AITA?

ADVERTISEMENT

Breastfeeding in public can ignite unexpected battles, especially when family oversteps. The mother, cleared by her in-laws to nurse, faced her BIL’s controlling comments, laced with a troubling “if you were my woman” refrain. Her retort was a defense of her autonomy.

Dr. Laura Markham, a parenting expert, notes, “Shaming breastfeeding mothers undermines their confidence and normalizes stigma.” A 2023 study found 55% of nursing mothers face public criticism, often from family. The BIL’s remarks reflect a deeper issue of control, possibly tinged with sexism.

ADVERTISEMENT

This highlights a broader issue: navigating personal choices in family settings. The mother could set firm boundaries, with her husband’s support, to curb BIL’s comments. Open talks about breastfeeding’s normalcy could educate the family.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit users dished out fiery support and witty jabs for this breastfeeding showdown. Here’s what they said:

ADVERTISEMENT

Sensitive-String-284 - Nta even reading “If you were my woman “ makes me fuckin GAG 🤢🤮

PeteyPorkchops - NTA. I would point blank put him on the spot the next time and ask why he has such a fascination with you, and I would loudly declare. “I am not your woman, I will never be your woman, and I would never want to be your woman. So how about we just completely stop with this if I was your woman bit you keep repeating incessantly.”

ADVERTISEMENT

EdwardRoivas - NTA “gosh it must be so frustrating for you only being able to control one woman when you so desperately want to be able to control all of us free thinking and free speaking women. I really don’t care, please stop.”

throowowowawaayyyy - NTA What is wrong with your BIL? 'If you were my woman...' is such an inappropriate thing to say! Clearly this guy is sexist af and has issues with women. He could've used this as an opportunity to teach his children about b**ast feeding and that it is normal.

Instead, they are now going to grow up and scoff at women feeding their children just like their father. You have to constantly deal with comments from him, I think he can get over this one from you. He IS insufferable! What an adult baby.. BTW, your in laws are AHs too for not defending you.

ADVERTISEMENT

Khunm - NTA. 'If you were my woman...' is so sleasy and toxic. Gross ass 50's mindset s**t

missmaebea - NTA. Next time bring a spray bottle to help with training.. Act like a horny old dog, get treated like one.. 'If you were MY wo-' 'NO!' \*pshpshpsh\*

m_olly_pop - If you were his women?? F**king barf 🤢 He should focus less on his fantasy of owning his sister in law and more on minding us own business.. If he wants to police boobs, he should start with policing himself. F**king boob.

ADVERTISEMENT

Coco_Dirichlet - NTA. Does he think he owns 'his woman'?????? So his woman would have to do whatever he says every time? Does he keep her in a leash?. That's one of the most disgusting things ever.

Mallomar510 - NTA. Did anyone briefly explain to the 4M and 7M that this is how babies eat?

[Reddit User] - NTA. He’s disgusting. and i’m disappointed your mil and sil don’t have your back.

ADVERTISEMENT

From gagging at the BIL’s comments to cheering the mother’s clapback, these reactions pack a punch. But do they pave the way for peace or just fuel the family fire?

This story of a breastfeeding mom’s bold retort to her BIL’s overreach shows how personal choices can spark family feuds. Her stand defended her rights but stirred tension. Could a calm boundary or a family talk on respect smooth things over? What would you say to shut down such intrusive comments? Share your thoughts below—let’s keep this lively debate flowing!

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *