AITA for telling my best friend if she chooses to have a baby she can’t come on a vacation I paid for with me?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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In a whirlwind of glittery Vegas dreams, a 21-year-old woman found herself at a crossroads with her best friend. Picture this: a dazzling trip planned, tickets bought, and the promise of carefree nights under neon lights. But life, as it often does, threw a curveball—her friend’s unexpected pregnancy. Caught between excitement for her milestone birthday and loyalty to her friend, she’s now navigating a minefield of emotions. Can she chase her Vegas adventure without breaking a cherished bond?

The stakes feel high, and the tension is palpable. Her friend, barely 20 and wrestling with a life-altering decision, is pulling away, leaving texts unanswered. Readers can’t help but wonder: is it selfish to prioritize a once-in-a-lifetime trip, or is it just practical? This story unravels the messy beauty of friendship, where love and personal desires collide in a way that’s all too human.

 

‘AITA for telling my best friend if she chooses to have a baby she can’t come on a vacation I paid for with me?’

Okay I know the title sounds harsh but everyone I have spoke to about this doesn’t think I’m in the wrong but she is mad at me and barely speaking to me anymore. So I (21F) bought me and my best friend (20F) tickets to go to Vegas for a few days as this year we are turning 21 (she will be 21 before we go and I had my b-day a month ago).

She recently found out she was pregnant and was going back and forth between getting an a**rtion or keeping the baby and I told her I will support her with any decision she decides. She has gotten comfortable with the idea that she is having the baby and has even told some people around her.

She found out she was about a month and a half along and if she decides to have the baby she will be around four months when we go. This morning I had a conversation with a few coworkers and I told them the situation and how if we go I don’t wanna be held back by her and I especially don’t want to drink alone and all my coworkers agreed with me.

I voiced these thoughts to her later in the day and she asked me to just cancel the trip and we can do it another time which it’s too late to get my money back but she insisted that would be better then me going alone and I told her I didn’t want to lose that much money and I can take another friend, my cousin, or my boyfriend.

I also told her after she has the kid and can go on vacation we can always book another trip and celebrate 21 as if we just turned 21. She has kept me on read all day after I said this and won’t answer my calls. I love my best friend and I will love and spoil her child I just don’t want our vacation to be ruined by me drinking on my own and her complaining about whatever pregnant people complain about.

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Update: She texted me today but hasn’t brought up anything. I decided it was best not to bring it up either and just let her think about things. I appreciate everyone who commented because it really did give me prospective on how she may be feeling and I have to admit I’m not the best at communicating so to her I probably did sound a little harsh.

There was also a lot of people calling me entitled for my decision even tho I am literally paying for her whole vacation and offered to rebook which I was going to pay for as well. I don’t think that’s entitled behavior at all but who knows I can be wrong lol.

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Navigating a friendship when life paths diverge can feel like walking a tightrope. This young woman’s Vegas dilemma highlights the delicate balance between personal plans and supporting a friend’s major life change. The OP wants to celebrate turning 21 with carefree fun, while her friend faces the weight of impending motherhood. Both perspectives are valid—she’s not wrong for wanting her dream trip, but her friend’s hurt is understandable too.

Dr. Irene S. Levine, a psychologist and friendship expert, notes, “Friendships evolve as life circumstances change, and open communication is key to maintaining them” (source: Psychology Today). Her insight underscores the OP’s challenge: her blunt delivery may have stung, framing her friend as a burden. A softer approach could have preserved their bond while addressing her concerns.

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This situation reflects a broader issue—how young adults navigate friendships amid life transitions. According to a 2023 study by the American Psychological Association, 68% of young adults report strained friendships due to differing life stages. The OP’s focus on drinking and fun highlights a clash of priorities, but her offer to plan a future trip shows care. Her friend, meanwhile, may feel isolated as she processes her new reality.

Advice: The OP should give her friend space, then initiate a heartfelt conversation, perhaps over coffee, to affirm her support. A small gesture, like a thoughtful note or baby gift, could rebuild trust. For readers, this is a reminder: empathy and tact can keep friendships strong through change. Planning a low-key hangout post-trip could also keep the connection alive.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit’s got opinions, and they’re serving them hot! From cheeky quips to heartfelt advice, the community weighed in on this Vegas drama. Here are the top takes:

karskipellis − NAH. Stop calling her, and let her be for a couple of days. She's disappointed, and having some FOMO right now. She's still adjusting to the idea of her whole life changing, and not being able to do some of the things she thought she would. After a couple of days, reach out again and tell her you're really looking forward to being an auntie and you will have fun trips together in the future, just not right now.

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DreadGrrl − NTA I actually took a trip with a pregnant friend many (twenty-nine) years ago. I had bought the tickets and invited her along with me.. It sucked. Her husband had a huge list of rules that he wanted followed to protect the baby. They were reasonable (things like “no Bungie jumping” or “moshing”), but having a list of forbidden activities was a downer.

I’m not a big drinker, but I felt bad having any liquor around her. Sometimes it’s nice to have a stupid, umbrella decorated, disgustingly sweet, a**oholic beverage poolside: without feeling guilty about it. Invite someone else on the trip. Her circumstances have changed, and you can always plan another trip at a later date.

StAlvis − NAH. Take another friend and **enjoy yourself!**. Everyone's got different priorities in life, and *there's nothing wrong* with planning a trip that involves getting faded AF. Better dealing with this, eyes open, now, rather than with a lot of side-eye and passive aggression during the actual trip.

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petitepedestrian − Nta- pregnant in vegas legit sounds like hell.

HotAge5962 − NTA- if you didn’t go it would be a waste of money and she has to understand that her not drinking and being pregnant means the holiday will be less fun

Kare6Bear6 − Did you actually phrase it how you did in the title?. If the title is just exaggerated then it's NAH. Take it from someone that is *very* unexpectedly pregnant. She's just starting to come to terms with her life turning upside down.

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She's still in a very big unknown territory as to how life is gonna go. A trip that isn't for a few months is not going to be her priority, as it shouldn't be at this stage.. if we go I don’t wanna be held back by her. If you actually said that I can see why she went on the defensive.

It's *quite* the isolating comment to make about someone you love. It would make many people feel like s**t, like they were an inconvenience instead of a loved one.. This discussion had to be had, but her reaction is very understandable as well.

EvocativeEnigma − NTA - She can't expect you to just flush all that money down the drain... take someone else, since she doesn't want to go. You can party with her somewhere else later.

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dominiqlane − NTA. The money’s already spent and she won’t be able to enjoy the trip to it’s fullest because of her pregnancy. It’s not fair for her to expect you to not go because of her situation.

Novel_Ad_7318 − Oof. I wanna say NAH. You want to spend the time you planned for, but it seems like she still needs some time to adjust to the new situation. Maybe do something small and sweet for her - a baby basket, maybe? This decision seems to have been hard for her and she might not be fully ready to accept the consequences and changes yet, which is okay.

Having a child after just barely turning 21 isn't exactly the norm anymore and her life is about to change, in a huge way. Be there for her, maybe don't take this situation right now to personal. I think there is a lot going on on an emotional level for her right now.

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throwawaygrosso − NTA. Just cancel it? She’s certainly catching on to that entitled parent attitude quickly!

These Reddit hot takes are spicy, but do they capture the full picture? Maybe it’s less about who’s right and more about navigating life’s unexpected turns together.

This Vegas trip saga shows how quickly friendships can hit rocky terrain when life throws surprises. The OP’s stuck between her dream getaway and her friend’s hurt feelings, proving that even the best intentions can spark drama. With empathy and communication, they might just find their way back to solid ground. What would you do if your best friend’s life change clashed with your plans? Share your thoughts—have you ever faced a similar friendship fork in the road?

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