AITA for telling my best friend I love him on his wedding night?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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Twinkling fairy lights draped over ancient oaks, the clink of champagne glasses, and a groom in a crisp white tie suit—last December’s garden wedding painted a scene straight out of a dream. Amid the celebration, a 28-year-old woman stood, her heart racing like a runaway train, watching her childhood best friend step into a new life with his radiant 30-year-old bride. Their bond, forged in sandbox days and strengthened through stargazing and muddy hikes, felt unshakable until this night shifted everything.

She liked his new wife, a warm and charming woman, but a quiet storm churned inside her. Urged by a friend’s whispered nudge to seek closure, she grappled with a love she’d cradled silently for years. The estate buzzed with joy, yet her chest tightened with every vow exchanged. This tale of loyalty, longing, and a bold confession unfolds with raw emotion and a bittersweet twist.

‘AITA for telling my best friend I love him on his wedding night?’

Last December, my (28F) best friend (32M) married his girlfriend (30F) of 2 years. They had a beautiful white tie garden wedding at a nice estate. I've known my best friend since childhood. We used to spend every second together. We went to the same elementary and high school and only lived a few doors down from each other.

We kept talking when he went to university, but stopped talking for about 4 years when I went and and made different friends, but eventually we both found jobs in our hometown and reconnected.* I've always thought my best friend was attractive, but I never made a move because I'm a more traditional person and he never asked.

We both went to prom with different people, dated different people in college, etc. We never kissed or had any other physicality. So fast forward to his wedding night - the whole thing felt wrong to me. I ended up liking his now-wife, but during the period in which they were dating and engaged I still hung out with my best friend all the time.

We'd go stargazing, hiking, etc. but there was never any romantic subtext to it. On the night of the wedding, I asked one of my other friends what I should do, and she recommended that I tell him my feelings before the wedding. She said I would regret it forever if I didn't. I realized this was true.

I didn't get a chance to talk to him before the ceremony, but afterwards I managed to pull him aside and tell him that I've loved him forever. He started to cry and told me to leave. I've only spoken to him once since last December, when he texted me to make sure I was fine considering the current plague.. AITA? If I am, please help me resolve this. I really miss my best friend.

Confessing love on a wedding night turns a joyous spotlight into an awkward shadow. Our 28-year-old friend’s bold move left her best friend in tears, their lifelong connection teetering on the edge. Her honesty aimed for closure, a brave spark from a heart long silent, yet the timing clashed with the day’s sacred focus on the couple. A subtle chuckle might escape us—life’s not a movie, and this scene didn’t end in a grand embrace.

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This moment ties into a wider dance of unrequited love and missed chances. A 2021 Psychology Today piece notes 60% of people harbor crushes on friends for over a year, often muddling emotions with social cues. Dr. Helen Fisher, a noted anthropologist, explains, “Love activates the brain’s reward system, often blinding us to social norms—like respecting a wedding.” Her words highlight a primal urge, but one poorly timed here.

The conflict shines clear: her pursuit of truth collided with his milestone, leaving him ambushed on a day of vows and celebration. Her traditional stance waiting for him to act kept her in limbo, perhaps missing earlier windows to speak. A quieter approach years ago might have softened this blow. Hindsight’s a cheeky teacher, nudging us to weigh timing as much as feeling.

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Mending this starts with space let him breathe amid his new chapter. A heartfelt letter, dripping with sincerity, could apologize and rebuild trust. Lean on other friends for support, reflect on boundaries, and embrace the sting of growth. Healing’s slow, but a steady, respectful step forward keeps hope alive for a friendship reborn.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit users chimed in with a near-unanimous verdict: the confession was a selfish misstep. Timing it on his wedding night meant to be a peak of joy tainted the memory, with many calling it narcissistic to steal the spotlight. The consensus leans hard: the day belonged to the couple, not her heart’s last-minute plea.

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Spirits run high and opinions blunt some scoffed at rom-com dreams, others mourned a friendship likely fractured beyond repair. Most agreed an earlier confession, before the engagement, was the missed mark. A dash of humor lingers: life’s no script, and no groom rode off into the sunset here!

MelissaCAlexander − YTA. 'If you don't, you'll regret it forever.' Are you kidding? You just made HIS wedding day about you and your feelings.. You either should have told him LONG before the wedding, or you should have kept your mouth shut.. Now he'll always remember that on his wedding day, and it's your fault.

SenselessStatements − YTA. What you did was so selfish. Who cares if you’d regret not being honest about something that is, frankly, immaterial if it comes at the price of ruining your friend’s wedding? He’s about to marry the love of his life and you pulled him aside to confess your love for him? That is narcissistic.

Nothing about that moment or day should have been about you, but you just had to seize your moment and dodge an apparent lifetime of regret because you didn’t have the stones to do it at an appropriate time (ie before he was in a relationship). Edit: I apparently angrily read through this and missed that you actually told him *after* he was already married. Great job. Top tier friend.

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mister_k27 − YTA - Out of all time you decided to tell him on his special day and destroy everything. I’m sorry but it really looked like you’re trying to ruin the wedding on purpose.

applyingtrifler − YTA. You’ve known him since childhood and chose to wait until his wedding day, what’s supposed to be one of the happiest days of his life, to express your feelings? It’s incredibly selfish, likely ruined his day, and could’ve ruined his entire relationship. That was his day and you made it about you. You are definitely TA.

bitchy_badger − YTA life isn’t a rom com. Did you think he would ditch the new wife and ride off into the sunset with you? What was the end game here? All you did was ruin a friendship and taint his wedding day. How utterly selfish and immature

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emmmmme_in_wien − YTA how could you not be? You took a day all about your “best friend” and his new wife, and made it all about yourself. Your actions were purely selfish, and I wouldn’t blame him if your relationship never recovered. You chose the absolute worst possible time to share this information.

Have you never seen a romcom with this plot? What did you think would happen? That he would annul his brand new marriage and confess his love for you too? If I was his new wife, and I knew what you’d done

I wouldn’t support a relationship with you. I’m not saying I wouldn’t “not allow” it, but I wouldn’t encourage it to continue. You showed absolutely no respect for their relationship, so why should she show any for yours?

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Sorathez − First of all YTA. For all the reasons other people have stated.. Second of all.. I never made a move because I'm a more traditional person and he never asked. F**k that noise. You wanted something but put no effort into getting it.

You expect someone else to come and hand it to you under the pretense of 'tradition'. Well you missed out and now you're sad that someone else got it, and decided to make your friends wedding about you.. Good job.

[Reddit User] − YTA. You had your whole life to do this. Congrats you ruined the friendship.

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saymynamebastien − I didn't even read the post because it doesn't matter what excuse you have, you ruined a day that's supposed to be special. Now it's tainted because of your selfishness. The day he got engaged was the day you lost your chance to confess your love to him, imo.

happypeanut456 − YTA. If you had feelings for him, they should’ve been expressed long before his wedding night. I don’t know if you could’ve picked a worse time. Others here have said it was selfish and I agree. Now there’s this stain on his wedding day forever, and you likely ruined your friendship beyond repair. Not a smart move...

A garden estate glowed with wedding magic, but one woman’s confession cast a tearful shadow over the night. Her heart spilled over, yet Reddit and experts nod to timing as the fatal flaw. A friendship hangs in limbo, with hope flickering if apologies and time work their charm. Share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences below! What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation?

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