AITA for telling my aunt that its no wonder her husband in miserable?

At a lively family gathering, a woman’s joy in her polyamorous relationship with two girlfriends was met with venom from her aunt. What started as confusion over their dynamic spiraled into cruel jabs, culminating in a heartless remark about one girlfriend’s facial scar. Pushed to her limit, the woman unleashed a verbal barrage, exposing her aunt’s crumbling marriage and leaving her in tears. Now, with her aunt’s divorce revealed, the fallout has split the family.

This Reddit tale dives into the fiery clash of loyalty and prejudice, where love for partners collides with family judgment. It’s a story of standing tall against cruelty, with a twist of irony in the aunt’s own secrets. Was the woman’s outburst justified, or did she go too far? Let’s unravel this heated showdown and find the heart of the matter.

‘AITA for telling my aunt that its no wonder her husband in miserable?’

Okay, first things first. I am a polyamorous lesbian, I recently started dating two wonderful women. It's been going really great, they're the best partners I've had so far in a long while. Recently we all went to one of my family gatherings, my parents know about our relationship and their cool with it.

So after we got situated and I introduced them to some family members my aunt said something among the lines of 'you three must be really good friends' We laughed, before informing her about our situation. Keep in mind she knows I like girls already,

but she acted super confused about the poly part and we had to be painfully slow when explaining it to her. After she seemed to process it she started acting...very rude. It was the usual arguments against polyamory, that we were just greedy, horny,

we tire of each other eventually, it never work, that one of us will be unhappy as two of us were bound to love each other more than the third one. It went on, and on. We ignored her and my mom did tell her to shut up a few times but she didn't listen.

What finally broke the camel back though was when the asked one of my girlfriends 'If it hurts knowing that that the other two will never love you as much with a face like that-' which btw she has a horrible scar on her face from a house fire, she's deeply insecure about it and she almost started crying.

I snapped while my other girlfriend comforted her, I told her off calling her all sorts of things. Saying how could she call my girlfriend ugly when she looks like the wicked witch from the west and the main thing being, 'Why are you hating on my relationship when you're husband can't stand to be in the same room with you half the time!?

It sounds like you're angry because you're trapped in a monogamous relationship which considering how you act it's no wonder your husband is miserable half the god damn time.' It left in her tears after words than we all decided to leave.

My girlfriends felt was I did was justified but over the top, my parents think it was hilarious what I said and is glad my aunt got brought down a peg, meanwhile my aunt and most of my older family members think I'm the wrong. I don't usually stand up for myself let alone my partners so I gotta ask. Reddit, AITA?

ADVERTISEMENT

EDIT: A lot of people are saying I'm in the wrong for putting my girlfriends on the spot like, which let me make something clear. Most of my direct family knows I'm polyamorous I called my parents beforehand and told them I was bringing two partners they even said they give people a heads up.

Why my aunt was still surprised I have no idea, but this isn't the first poly relationship in this family so really there was no reason to act this way. She was the only one openly having an issue with our relationship.

ADVERTISEMENT

EDIT 2: Okay, I have to admit I did not expect this to get as big as it did. It was a pleasant surprise, especially someone that messaged me to throw it a YouTube video. Now me and my girlfriends now have a bet about whether or not this will end up on R/Slash (we're all avid watchers) for those that was worried about my girlfriend with the scar she is fine,

actually she read through your comments and is o**rwhelmed by the support she received. It really made me happy since she hasn't smiled much in the past couple of days and she's even taking a suggestion by Redditor to start therapy. We're both very proud of her for taking this big step forward.

ADVERTISEMENT

As for my aunt get ready for a big dose of irony. The reason she got so upset about me dissing on her marriage was because she is the middle of getting a DIVORCE. The reason for said divorce? She cheated on my uncle. From what I heard from him this wasn't the first time, he's caught her cheating a lot and kept forgivng her everytime.

Seems recently he finally realized she wasn't going to change and filed for a divorce. Apparently, she was so upset over this she was being bitter to any happy couple she seen and the three of us particularly irked her. She is still demanding an apology and I simply said if she personally apologized to my girlfriends about her comments then I would.

ADVERTISEMENT

She has to respond. I am proud of my Uncle for finally getting away from my aunt. She's always been a massive jerk and treats him terribly, I and my girlfriends invited him over for a beet to celebrate finally getting out of his s**tty marriage. Once again thanks for all the support given here. It means a lot 💕

When family gatherings turn toxic, the scars—visible or not—can cut deep. The woman’s defense of her girlfriend against her aunt’s cruel remark about a facial scar was a stand for love and dignity. Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist, notes, “Personal attacks, especially on physical insecurities, are a form of emotional abuse that demand a response”. The aunt’s judgment of polyamory, followed by her vicious insult, crossed a clear line.

The woman’s perspective is rooted in protecting her partners, while her aunt’s behavior reflects projection, especially given her own infidelity and divorce. A 2023 study from the Journal of Family Psychology found that 45% of family conflicts escalate from unaddressed personal grievances. The aunt’s bitterness toward a happy trio likely stemmed from her own marital collapse, but her attack was unprovoked.

ADVERTISEMENT

Dr. Durvasula advises “firm boundaries without sinking to their level.” The woman’s retort, while cathartic, mirrored her aunt’s cruelty, which some family members latched onto. A calmer exit might have preserved her high ground, but her reaction was human. Her refusal to apologize unless her aunt does first is a fair boundary.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit users didn’t hold back, serving up support with a side of shade for the aunt. Here’s what they had to say:

jasemina8487 − Nta. She may or may not approve your relationship but she had to respect your choices. And she had it all coming the moment she bashed your girlfriend with her scar on her face. Even my 3 yo is more mature than her...

ADVERTISEMENT

JeepersCreepers74 − NTA. It was an emotional fight, Auntie threw the first 300 punches and shouldn't be surprised that you finally hit back. The only thing that would have made it better would be if Uncle had left with you.

LivingNoir − NTA. she is a massive a**hole, she deserves everything you said and more, she doesnt need to understand your relationship but she has no right being a d**k about it.

Bambie-Rizzo − NTA all the way. Good job sticking it to that old bat.. Info: are you guys a triad or are they separate partners that don’t mind doing stuff together?

ADVERTISEMENT

theory_until − NTA at all. Whatever her feelings and opinions are on polyamory, which she should have kept to her own self at this gathering, she was *breath-takingly* cruel to call out your GF's scar at all, let alone to couple it to her worthiness of love and relationship security.

I'm crying thinking about how much that must of hurt - what a knife below the belt. Hey, an immediate poly benefit: there was one partner to provide emotional first aid comfort to your attacked GF, and another to manage the threat. I hope she's doing okay and was able to shake off your aunt's attack. Sending hugs if y'all want 'em!

Dangerous_Beans74 − NTA. Normally I'd say E-S-H for stooping to her level, but the fact that she actually said horribly hurtful things to your girlfriend based on her facial scar is shockingly awful, and at that point she deserved for someone to give her a taste of her own medicine.

ADVERTISEMENT

Sockpuppetsyko − NTA - You get back what you give. She earned the verbal lashing.

PA_Archer − Aunt insulted a person (stranger) about their face, to their face. Asked for an ass kicking, only got embarrassed.. She got off light.. NTA

kittysue804 − Your parents sound pretty fun

ADVERTISEMENT

hows_my_driving1 − NTA, a lot of people seem to be upset with you clapping back on her, but it was justfied.

From cheering the woman’s clapback to condemning the aunt’s hypocrisy, Reddit’s takes are as bold as the confrontation itself. Some see her response as righteous, others note she matched her aunt’s venom. Do these comments capture the balance of defending love versus keeping peace, or do they fuel the fire?

This story of a family gathering gone wrong shows how quickly prejudice can ignite a feud. The woman’s fierce defense of her girlfriend against her aunt’s cruel scar remark led to a brutal takedown, exposing her aunt’s own marital misery. With the aunt’s divorce now in the open, was the woman’s outburst a justified stand or an overstep? Share your thoughts—what would you do if a relative attacked your loved one’s insecurities? How do you protect your heart and theirs in a family clash?

ADVERTISEMENT
Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *