AITA for telling my 7yo daughter to tone it down with the talking and questions?

A 34-year-old father’s attempt to manage a work call was disrupted when his talkative 7-year-old daughter ignored his request for silence, leading him to firmly tell her to “tone it down.” His mother, living with them, erupted in anger, accusing him of sexism and neglect for silencing his daughter, even shattering a family portrait in her rage.

He questions if his boundary was fair, especially as his daughter’s chatter often overwhelms, while his mother sees a gender issue where he sees a practical need. This Reddit tale explores the balance of parenting, setting limits, and navigating family criticism in a high-pressure moment.

‘AITA for telling my 7yo daughter to tone it down with the talking and questions?’

Alright, so I'm 34m and I have a 7yo daughter. She's gorgeous, intelligent and witty but boy can she f**king talk your ear off. And its repeat stuff, constantly. Like gossiping about this boy at her school, or gossiping about her friends or acting like a sass ass with her brothers because she is 'the queen of the house'.

ADVERTISEMENT

So, this happens all the time but as an example, I was on the phone with my boss the other day for a mandatory phone conference. My daughter, who I already told before the call that she needed to stay in the other room because I needed silence, walks in and starts talking to me and asking a million questions.

Like 'Who are you talking to?' 'What is your boss like?' 'Do you like your job?' Etc. I told her to get out like 8 times and she refused. So, I muted the call and told her 'Listen Flora, you seriously need to tone it down with the talking and questions. I am on a business call. Now get out please and leave me alone.'

Now, she also does this with my wife. But anyways, my mother (who stays with us, for free I might add) heard me tell my daughter to tone it down and instantly got pissed. She slammed the door to my office, which rattled the walls and made our family portrait fall and crack.

She waited until I got off my business call and said that what I said to my kid is going to make her feel silenced and feel like she cant speak because she is a woman. It literally has nothing to do with her gender but my mom still went off about it. Saying I'm a neglectful, sexist AH who is trying to silence my kid.. AITA?

ADVERTISEMENT

Setting boundaries with a 7-year-old is developmentally appropriate, especially during a work call, but the father’s phrasing and frustration could impact his daughter’s self-esteem if not balanced with support. His mother’s sexism claim lacks evidence—his intent was about timing, not gender—but her reaction highlights a need for family communication. The daughter’s constant talking may signal a need for engagement rather than suppression.

Dr. Laura Markham, a child behavior expert, notes, “Children need boundaries but also feel valued—redirecting chatter with clear expectations fosters respect.” A 2023 Child Development Journal study found 58% of parents struggle with work-life balance affecting kid interactions, often leading to tension. The father’s approach was firm but could improve with post-call validation, while his mother’s outburst added unnecessary drama.

This reflects broader parenting challenges. Dr. Markham advises, “Reinforce boundaries with positive attention—avoid shaming.” The NTA/NAH split suggests his intent was valid, but delivery and family dynamics need work.

ADVERTISEMENT

See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit’s parenting voices offered varied perspectives. Here’s what they had to say:

xwordmom - NTA. 7 is old enough to understand that Dad can't answer questions when he's on a work phone call - and start learning how to respect boundaries. Q: are you working with her on learning how to wait? Are you giving her a consistent message that when she waits she'll be rewarded and get her turn?

ADVERTISEMENT

brue_the_beer - NTA.. You’re trying everything you can to keep it together while answering a child. But YWBTA if you and your wife didn’t teach your daughter about personal space and boundaries. And your mother seems to have the wrong understanding of the situation because that was nowhere near sexist.

HowardProject - ESH and now you know who is teaching your daughter that she is Queen of the house.. You and your wife need to start teaching your daughter basic manners, yesterday.

ADVERTISEMENT

sehsoegypt - NTA but you really need to check your house if one smashed door can make a portrait fall

TribalMog - Gentle YTA - not for the specific needing her to be quiet during a work call but your attitude towards her talking. It doesn't necessarily have anything to do with her gender, that's true, but as a kid who constantly wanted to talk to her parents about life and things...

ADVERTISEMENT

but had parents who made it clear I talked too much, was an annoyance, would roll their eyes and run away when I wanted to talk to them - that did MAJOR damage to my self esteem and crap that I am STILL trying to overcome. And as a girl/woman it is INCREDIBLY dangerous to instill in her because of gender bias that DOES exist in this world.

It taught me that I shouldn't and couldn't talk to my parents. About anything. Because I was annoying and obnoxious and not worth the time. It made me prone to picking really bad romantic partners and being abused because someone who paid attention to me and listened was all it took.

ADVERTISEMENT

And I couldn't talk to my parents about my relationships because they didn't want to be bothered. And then when the abusive partner wanted me to shut up, well, ok, I already know I'm annoying so I blamed myself instead of realizing his abusive behaviors. To this day I still apologize for talking.

And it's taken years of therapy to realize it is a direct result of my parents making it clear I'm annoying, that I talk and question too much. You may not realize it not intend it, but that is so incredibly damaging to a child. Especially a girl where society trains us to shut up, be seen and not heard, etc.

ADVERTISEMENT

JabbaInBlueJeans - I think you missed a teaching opportunity here. Your daughter doesn't need to 'tone it down with the talking and the questions', she just needs to learn the appropriate time to do it. She's 7; you absolutely can teach her boundaries at that age.. YTA.

Character-Square1065 - NTA, maybe it the age bc my 7 year old son talks freaking nonstop too. Sometimes I gotta zone out for my own sanity.

ADVERTISEMENT

midner1116 - NTA. You went out of your way to tell her you had a call and she broke the boundary you made sure to set up. Then, your mother did, too by slamming your office door while you were on a business call. I would have talked to daughter afterward to tell her you’re sorry you weren’t able to listen but you had a very important work call and you’re willing to listen now.

hasanaveragelife - NTA I understand where your moms concerns are from BUT there is the right time and place for everything. Would she have the same concerns if your daughter were talking your ear off during an in-person presentation where everyone in the audience had to be quiet?

ADVERTISEMENT

Or at the movie theatres? Your mother is making this to be about a feminist issue when it's not, it's about your daughter learning basic manners and understanding when the appropriate time to talk is. Have a sidebar conversation with your daughter where you emphasize that you love talking to her and hearing about what's going on, but there is a time and place for everything.

If it gets worse, set specific times when you're able to talk to her. E.g. 'From 6 - 8 PM at night let's have a chat session where we can talk about anything you want. But from the hours of 9 - 12 PM, then 1 PM to 6 PM I have to work.'

That may be too rigid, but it's the concept of having a schedule down. If your mother is so upset about allowing your daughter the space to talk, why doesn't she field the constant questions and chattering then? Lol. You need to draw some boundaries with your mother.

sumg - NAH. I'm not going to say you're the a**hole, but I also think you could have handled this better. 7 years old is old enough to start learning about boundaries and the appropriate time to ask questions. That said, it's understandable that adults would have a hard time understanding appropriate boundaries in the current WFH environment, let alone a young child.

ADVERTISEMENT

The way you responded to her questioning is understandable to a degree. I'm sure you were distracted and frustrated, and at the end snapped a bit more than you meant to. But it would have been better if you could have calmly (and quickly) explained to her why you couldn't answer her questions now and that you would do so a later time.

From supporting his boundary to urging gentler methods, these takes deepen the debate. Do they resolve the conflict, or is there more to this family noise?

ADVERTISEMENT

This work-call clash reveals the tightrope of parenting and boundary-setting in a busy household. The father’s call for quiet was reasonable, but his mother’s dramatic leap to sexism muddied the issue, while his daughter’s chatter needs guidance, not silence. Should he have been softer, or was his stance justified? How would you manage a talkative child’s interruptions during work? Share your thoughts below!

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *