AITA for telling a woman I don’t care about her grievance?

In a quiet neighborhood blanketed by early snow, a parent’s morning peace was shattered two days ago. Their son, eager to earn cash, shoveled driveways, including one for a neighbor who now demands more service for less pay. The parent, irritated by the early knock, faced a heated dispute, setting a boundary that left both sides fuming.

The standoff escalated when the neighbor insisted on repayment or labor, only to be met with a blunt rejection. As guilt creeps in, the parent wonders if their lack of empathy crossed into a**hole territory, especially given the neighbor’s persistence. The tension lingers into June 12, 2025, a memory still fresh.

‘AITA for telling a woman I don’t care about her grievance?’

Two days ago my son got up early and went door to door offering to shovel peoples driveways for cash. I think he made like $75. Well yesterday morning I woke up to someone knocking on my door and was very irritated. When I opened the door a woman was standing there asking when my son was going to come shovel her driveway.

I told her I doubted he wanted to get up early two days in a row, so he probably wasn't. She didn't like that answer. She said she paid my son the day prior to shovel her driveway for three days. This sounded unlikely to me. My son usually doesn't like to commit to things in advance like that.

I told her she could come back and talk to him when he was awake. She asked me to wake him up, but I said no, because he's on vacation, so why should he have to wake up early if he doesn't want to. The woman was mad and wanted her $15 back. I told her to come back later and ask my son and just shut the door.

She came back at nine AM, and when my son talked to her he said he never agreed to shovel her driveway multiple days, but that he would do it again for another $15. She was furious and said the price of shoveling a driveway is $5 and she already gave him $15 so he either needed to give her $10 or come shovel her driveway.

He said no, he wouldn't shovel a driveway for $5, that's why he told her it was fifteen. If she didn't want to pay fifteen, she should have declined the offer. She told me to make my son give her $10, and I said no. I said they had a business arrangement, and it didn't involve me, so I don't care how they resolve it.

She said I should shovel her driveway then, and I said no, because she woke me up and I have insomnia, and I don't appreciate that. Normally I'd shovel a female neighbor's driveway if she asked and I have time, because I know it can be difficult, but I wasn't inclined to feel charitable towards her at that moment.

She asked if I cared at all about the bad spot my son put her in, and I said I didn't, because he can charge whatever he likes for a service, and if she doesn't want to pay, that's not my problem.

She said I am an a**hole raising an even bigger a**hole, and then she left. I know I wasn't neighborly, but I don't feel like it rises to the level of a**hole, because I think she was entitled. But maybe I should have been more empathetic. Am I the a**hole?

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Setting boundaries is key, especially when defending a child’s autonomy. The parent’s refusal to intervene in the neighbor’s dispute with their son aligns with Dr. Janet Woititz’s view that “over-involvement can undermine a child’s responsibility” . Their stance was firm but fair.

The neighbor’s expectation of a multi-day deal for $15, despite the son’s denial, reflects a misunderstanding, possibly intentional. A 2021 Journal of Consumer Affairs study highlights how pricing disputes often stem from unclear agreements . The parent’s insomnia excuse adds context, justifying their irritation.

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Dr. Woititz suggests empathy can coexist with boundaries—perhaps a calmer explanation could have de-escalated. Telling the neighbor “I don’t care” was blunt, risking offense, but the son’s right to set his price holds. The guilt felt is natural but doesn’t make the decision wrong.

For the parent, reinforcing clear communication with neighbors and supporting their son’s hustle is key. For others, respecting agreed terms prevents such friction. The boundary stands as a lesson in self-respect.

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Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit’s community backs the parent, calling them NTA for supporting their son’s fair pricing. They slam the neighbor’s entitlement, noting $15 is reasonable and her demands were unreasonable. The consensus praises the son’s hustle, urging the parent to stand firm. Some suggest clarifying terms next time, but all agree the neighbor’s reaction was overblown.

eternallnewbie − NTA, you're teaching your son to stand up for himself. good job.

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SmashRadish − NTA Your neighbor views other people as servants and is deliberately manipulating the situation to effectively steal labor from a child.

Imaginary_Invite_602 − FYI, I made $20 per sidewalk 20 years ago!! She is expecting a lot!

Necessary-Fudge-3218 − This is sort of hilarious. NTA. I feel so sad that you actually felt the need to ask if you did something wrong here. I'm sorry you were too nice to tell this lady to shove it and then shut the door in her face.

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queenofwasps − $5 a driveway? What a rip off artist of her.. Good on you for sticking up for yourself and your son.. Nta

Quant75 − NTA. Is there a global driveway shoveling association that fixed the price at 5$ ? 🧐 she is ridiculous and misunderstood the agreement. Instead of owning her mistake she wants you or your kid to have to pay for it. Btw how old is your son?

sharirogers − NTA. She was definitely taking advantage of him and trying to milk it for all it was worth. You and kid handled it well. What I suggest for the future is for your son to hand out flyers for snow shoveling. Put everything in writing, then people can't dispute it. Clearly state it's a one-time service for this price.

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If they have two driveways (both of our houses had 2 driveways when I was growing up), add some amount for the extra one. When he has any takers, have him write down in his phone or a small notepad whose driveway he's going to shovel, what day, and the time.

Help him set his hours and manage breaks for food and pee. Awesome side hustle for a kid, and if he wanted to, he could have a few regular clients he helps every winter! Same with lawn mowing in the spring/summer.

General_Relative2838 − NTA. $15 to shovel a driveway sounds like a bargain. People with snow plows in my area charge $75-150 (or more), depending on how deep the snow is. I don’t think I’ve had anyone come and offer shovel our driveway. Anyway, it’s not reasonable to assume anyone, even a young teenager, would take on a physically-demanding job, such as shoveling snow, for so little money.

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DoobieDoo0718 − Cheap miser!. NTA. Life lesson for your son: give an inch and some people will try and take a mile.. She sucks. 0

Electrical_Promise89 − NTA. She has taught your son a valuable lesson. People are cheap, the next time he wants to shovel drives remind him to avoid her house completely. He provided a service at a fair price as no one else misunderstood or approached him to finish the job. $5 to dig out a drive way she should do it herself if it is such an unimportant easy task!!!!!

As snow melts into memory, this clash highlights the value of clear boundaries. It’s a timely reminder of standing by one’s own. How do you handle neighbor disputes over kids’ work? Share your tales below let’s keep the chat going!

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