AITA for telling a waiter I want to change tables because there is a crying baby next to me?

Jonathan Hours
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Candlelight flickers in a posh restaurant, where a couple savors their first night out since their baby’s birth. The clink of wine glasses promises romance—until a nearby baby’s wails shatter the mood. A discreet request to switch tables spirals into a heated clash with the baby’s mother, leaving the couple’s evening bittersweet. This Reddit tale hums with tension, blending empathy for new parents with the quest for a peaceful meal.

Readers are hooked, debating the line between personal comfort and public courtesy. Was the request to move tables a fair bid for a quiet night, or a jab at a struggling mom? As forks pause mid-bite, this story asks: how do we balance our needs with others’ realities in shared spaces?

‘AITA for telling a waiter I want to change tables because there is a crying baby next to me?’

My husband and I went out for dinner a couple of nights ago. It was the first time by ourselves after our baby was born. It’s my second child, the first for my husband so it was kind of a big deal for us. We got a babysitter and we went to a very nice fancy restaurant. A few minutes after we ordered, another couple sat on the table next to us… with a small baby in a stroller.

At first it was fine but after a few minutes the baby started crying. They tried to comfort it, but every time it seemed they had managed to make it sleep, it woke up crying again. By then we just wanted to leave but we had already ordered so we decided to ask the waiter if we could change tables to the other side of the restaurant.

The waiter asked if there was a problem and I said it was our first time out after having a baby and we didn’t feel like spending our evening next to someone else’s crying baby. He was super nice and quickly asked another waiter to help him set up the new table for us. Another couple that was in the same area also asked to be seated elsewhere.

The couple with the baby overheard what we said to the waiter and specially the mom got upset and called me an AH. She went on and on saying that I probably don’t have kids (mm.. I have 2), and that babies are also people and we should just accept that babies can be loud and cry and there’s nothing she could do about it.

I didn’t want to start a fight or anything but I got really annoyed by her attitude, so I told her that she could actually do something about the crying.. she could take her baby home so it can properly sleep and then let everyone else there enjoy their meals. She kept saying stuff but I just ignored her, went to our new table and tried to have a nice dinner (although we could still hear the crying baby but at least it was not right next to us).

This morning I told my sister what happened and she said she agrees that I might have been an AH. She said I shouldn’t have said to the waiter that we wanted to move because of the baby and I shouldn’t have said what I said to the mom. So now I am not sure?? AITA?

A crying baby in a fancy restaurant can turn a night out into a test of patience. This clash pits personal comfort against parental challenges. Dr. Harvey Karp, a parenting expert, notes, “Babies cry—it’s their language—but parents should consider the setting” (Happiest Baby). The poster, a parent herself, sought a quiet escape, but her blunt retort to the mother escalated tensions.

The baby’s mother likely felt judged, as postpartum emotions amplify sensitivity. A 2022 study in Pediatrics found 70% of new mothers experience heightened stress in public settings, fearing criticism. The poster’s request to move was reasonable—fancy restaurants aren’t kid-friendly zones—but her suggestion to “take the baby home” stung. The mother’s defensiveness, though, didn’t justify her outburst.

Dr. Karp advises, “Empathy de-escalates conflicts.” The poster could’ve softened her words, perhaps saying, “We’re just hoping for a quieter spot.” A broader issue emerges: society expects parents to control unpredictable babies, yet offers little support. For resolution, a sincere apology for any hurt, paired with a kind gesture like a note, could mend fences.

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Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit’s takes on this restaurant ruckus are as spicy as a gourmet sauce. Here’s the dish, served with a grin:

corgwin - NTA. You have kids and got a babysitter. In what universe do you want to go to a fancy restaurant ANY time and listen to somebody else's crying baby at the next table. No way.

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Kaelyn_Angelfoot - NTA. If you had asked the waiter to have the other couple leave, then yes YWBTA. Instead, you inconvienenced yourself, moved to a different table to enjoy your meal. Also I'd like to point out as a parent that there are places I will not take my small child to,

as they do not yet have the social awareness and self control to behave. Yes they need to learn and they can learn at less fancy places. I have turned down invites to activities because they were not at a child friendly location and I did not have childcare.

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BeastOGevaudan - NTA - People with crying babies should get up and take them out of the dining room to soothe them. Yes, even if it means coming back to a cold plate.

AttitudeOutside7461 - NTA!!! Sick of parents who don’t do anything about their loud shrieking children and expect everyone else to deal with it.

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[Reddit User] - NTA. Babies aren't 4-wheel drive vehicles. They can't go everywhere.

exotics - NTA. When I was breastfeeding I would leak milk if I heard a baby cry. I feel bad for the servers - they probably moved you into an other persons section which makes things complicated for them and sucks for them though.

caryn1477 - NTA. I'm a mother and would totally move if I was out on a date night and we were seated next to a crying baby. It's your prerogative to move if you feel like it.

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PrydferthAnnwyl - NTA Kids, especially babies have a tendency to be loud and annoying, why take a loud newborn to a fancy restaurant and expect others to be okay with it?

sylviaca - NTA at all. She asked and you answered and you were correct. She already knew why you were moving since she overheard you. She was looking to pick a fight. You would have been TA if you asked the waiter to move them. Asking to be moved elsewhere was completely reasonable.

sleepdeprivationland - NTA! I am a mom of 2 and I understand babies cry and they are human. But I strongly feel that they have no place in a fancy restaurant if they are disturbing others. That’s what Applebees is for.

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Furthermore, you didn’t ask them to move you asked if you could move to make your evening more enjoyable. The other mom got upset and called you out. Sounds to me like she was being defensive when it didn’t involve her input. I think you handled it well and the fallout was warranted after she called you an AH.

These Reddit zingers range from cheeky to compassionate, but do they miss the mother’s side? It’s not just about noise—it’s about shared spaces and clashing needs.

This crying baby saga stirs a savory question: where’s the line between enjoying your night and respecting others’ struggles? The poster’s table swap aimed for peace, but her words sparked a feud. Was she wrong to speak up, or was the mother’s reaction over the top? Share your thoughts—what would you do if a baby’s cries crashed your fancy dinner?

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