AITA for telling a preteen boy to shut up and stop making misogynistic comments?

A 19-year-old female amateur badminton player, who recently resumed the sport to try out for her university team, encounters blatant sexism from a preteen boy at her local community courts. Surrounded mostly by male players, she faces reluctance to partner with her, condescending comments about her skills, and outright remarks dismissing girls’ ability to play. After enduring several snide digs, she firmly tells the boy to shut up and stop his running commentary, silencing the crowded court.

What adds intensity to the incident is the public setting and the boy’s age—around 13 or 14—raising questions about whether her direct response was appropriate or if she should have handled a young teen more gently. She wonders if she overreacted, especially since he might not have realized she’s an adult, yet his behavior clearly targeted her gender and disrupted her game.

‘AITA for telling a preteen boy to shut up and stop making misogynistic comments?’

She resumes playing badminton daily at community courts dominated by males.

I (F19) am an amateur badminton player. I used to play in middle school and recently got back into it last week since I wanted to try and make the...

I didn't end up qualifying but I have been playing every day for the past week or so. I know l'm not the best but I don't think I'm terrible....

There are a handful of preteens and adults who always play, who are all men. I never really see women at the courts, but that has never been a problem...

A reluctant preteen partner begins criticizing her plays condescendingly.

I was one of the first few people to show up and initially played with a few people, and I was bit off my game since I'm also pms'ing.

Anyway, the courts start crowding soon enough and this one guy (who can't be older than 13 or 14) shows up. We'll call him Jake.

He's adamant on not playing with me and tries to get to switch with the pair on the other side (we're playing doubles). I just watch with an awkward smile...

Since he was so reluctant to play with me I let him get all the easy shots. Unfortunately I make a mistake and hit a serve that I wasn't supposed...

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and Jake gets all upset and goes off about how I wasn't supposed to do that. Immediately l'm a bit annoyed by his tone but I let it go cause...

It's not like I'm the only person making mistakes, though.

Then I miss another shot, and Jake goes, "Can you hit a little harder?" In the most condescending tone I've ever been spoken to by someone that age.

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For some reason that really ticks me off. So I go, "Man, can you relax? It's really not that serious." He gets flustered and avoids eye contact for the rest...

Later, he escalates with overt misogynistic comments from the sidelines.

I take a break because there are a lot of people waiting to play, while Jake goes to play at the other court. After about half an hour, it's my...

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He was playing the whole time, it's like he just wanted to cut me off. I don't know. I start playing with another guy, and Jake is at the side...

"This match will get over so fast," or, in a way he thinks is subtle, "Girls can't even play, I don't know why they try." I'm trying to be the...

But I just look at him and go, "I don't need your running commentary. Can you please shut up for five minutes?" To my horror, the entire court goes silent....

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I hear other dudes teasing him in the background going, "You're really just gonna take that?" And Jake goes, "Nah, they're just a noob," He doesn't say anything for the...

I don't know. Did I go overboard? Should I have handled it in a more mature way somehow? He treats everyone who's younger than him the same, and I don't...

This encounter exposes how early misogyny can surface in male-dominated recreational spaces and the challenges women face in addressing it directly. The young woman responded to repeated condescension and gendered insults by publicly calling out the boy’s behavior, which effectively halted it but left her questioning her approach due to his age.

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Supporters argue that preteens, especially those old enough to play unsupervised in adult settings, must face consequences for poor sportsmanship and sexism to learn boundaries—ignoring it would normalize such attitudes. Critics of overly gentle handling point out that shielding boys from accountability at this stage perpetuates entitlement.

Broader societal views reveal a persistent issue: women in sports often endure diminishment, and confronting it head-on, even sharply, can disrupt the pattern and educate onlookers. While phrasing like “poor sportsmanship” might land better than direct shutdowns in some male circles, her frustration after multiple provocations was valid. Ultimately, these moments highlight the need for early intervention against bias, as unchecked comments in youth can solidify into adult behaviors.

See what others had to share with OP:

Most users backed the woman wholeheartedly, stressing that the boy needed a firm reality check for his rude and sexist behavior.

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Cold_Animal_5709 − NTA. he's a kid and he's learning how to act in the world. he needs to learn that it's not appropriate to do s__t like that. leaving it...

If he's old enough to be there interacting with everyone he's old enough to learn that the way you treat other people, especially women, will affect how they treat you...

and christ lmao the number of dudes in the comments trying to pretend like 14yo boys are the equivalent of kindergarteners and aren't "ready" to learn the aforementioned basic ass...

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and/or that a woman in a male-dominated location can't tell when she's being talked down to on account of being a woman is bizarre.

He was being misogynistic. We've all been f__king 14yo boys don't pretend you don't remember the way lots of them are. Being told to shut up is deserved.

Dragosteakae − NTA sometimes smarmy little shits need to know their actions and words have CONSEQUENCES. Sometimes that consequence is the entire court knows you're a smarmy little s__t.

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You didn't say anything bad. You told him publicly he was acting rude about a casual sport. Maybe he'll behave better in public next time.

Perturiel8833 − NTA. Just like he probably doesn't know your age, you don't know his either. And even if you're correct, he's still old enough to be called out for...

Could you have done it differently? Probably. But, tbh telling him to shut up and you didn't cuss him out isn't really out of line.

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But, for the future and from experience, telling someone who's behaving that way what they're doing instead of what to do might go over better. Eg: you're showing extremely poor...

Succinct and to the point. And imo men are more likely to hear what you say if it's about sportsmanship than if it's about misogyny. No guarantees they'll listen, though.

I_wanna_be_anemone − NTA If his masculinity is that fragile it shouldn’t be doing sports. It could hurt itself.

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A few acknowledged her right to respond while suggesting slightly different phrasing for future incidents.

ParticularProgram845 − NTA. I'm sorry but these newer generation kids need to learn respect and they need to learn that their actions, their words, their lack of emotional control, all...

He went quiet because he didn't like being called out in front of everyone, but had no problem being rude and disrespectful to you in front of everyone. Its a...

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GrassyTreesAndLakes − Man f__k whoever said "youre gonna take that? " To Jake instead of standing up for you. NTA

BenderBenRodriguez − NTA. He was being rude and messing up your game. He's also old enough to know better. I'm presuming that there was not a parent there to speak...

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Your responsibility to him ends at the point that he's screwing with your time, and you were kinder than his incessant comments deserved.

Others injected humor or vented frustration at the lack of support from bystanders.

useless_2024 − I'm 46 and would probably have said worse. NTA

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Hairann − NTA, he was being an ass. You called him out on it.

[Reddit User] − Nta, he's a 'little s__t' age. And little shits get called out. I would have shouted at whoever made the smart ass comment to him, too.

Overall, the consensus leans toward the woman being justified in shutting down the preteen’s misogynistic and unsportsmanlike comments, viewing it as a necessary lesson in respect rather than an overreaction. Though some suggest calmer phrasing for effectiveness, her direct approach ended the harassment and highlighted how silence from others enables such behavior.

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Have you ever called out sexist remarks in a sports or hobby setting? How do you handle rude kids or teens in public spaces—do you think age should affect how firmly we respond? Share your stories and thoughts below!

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