AITA for telling a lady her “baby” is a waste of space?

The rumble of a crowded bus in a vibrant European city sets the stage for a tense showdown. A 19-year-old woman, heart racing, pushes her feverish baby sister’s stroller through a sea of passengers, desperate to reach the doctor. Space is tight, with wheelchairs and walkers already claiming room.

When she asks a woman to shift her stroller—revealed to hold a lifelike doll, not a baby—frustration boils over. A sharp remark about the doll being a “waste of space” clears the way but draws glares. Was her outburst justified, or did stress cloud her judgment?

‘AITA for telling a lady her “baby” is a waste of space?’

I know the title sounds bad but hear me out. I (f19) have a baby sister (11 mo.) who I babysit quite often. Mostly because my mom had a knee surgery after an accident quite recently so she can’t walk very well yet (the result of many years of struggling with joint problems, she’s got a fancy titanium knee now).

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This took place a couple days ago, when my sister started coughing and having a runny nose, then overnight came a slight fever. I know now this is just a common cold, but obviously I was worried and told my mom I would gladly take her to the doctor. I have a drivers license but am very scared of driving, I got into an accident the first time driving alone and this kind of traumatized me.

I live in a big city in Europe where public transportation is great so it’s no big deal to not use a car. Half of the way to the doctors is done via tram, for the rest of the way I have to use a bus. Usually these busses are sufficiently big but with limited space for strollers and wheelchairs.

That day the bus was unusually cramped, full of people standing aswell as a woman in a wheelchair, two old ladies with walkers and two strollers. So I could barely fit with my baby sister in her stroller. I asked one of the women with a stroller if she could move a bit and make space, as a response she just rolled her eyes.

I asked her again and she just told me to wait for the next bus (which takes about 15 minutes) as her baby needs the space. Well I look at the “baby” and it’s a doll?? A very realistic looking one, but still a doll. I got very angry at that point and told her that my baby is sick and needs to go to the doctor and she just ignored me.

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So I kind of lashed out and told her that her fake baby is a waste of space that other people with real baby’s or wheelchairs could need. The lady got really offended, insulted me under her breath and finally moved. Quite a few people looked at me angrily. I know some people need these dolls for example to deal with grief but I don’t understand why you can’t move over if someone asks you.

Or why you need to put it in a stroller in the first place. It’s not even real after all and the space on public transport is limited. She could have been taking the space from a disabled person, when she has the option not to.. Still, since a lot of people judged me, I’m wondering if I was in the wrong.. AITA?

This bus-bound drama pits urgent needs against personal attachments. The young woman, stressed about her sick sister, faced a woman whose doll occupied precious space. Public transport etiquette typically prioritizes living passengers, especially a sick child, over objects, no matter their emotional weight.

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Dr. Gail Saltz, a psychiatrist, notes, “Objects can serve as emotional crutches, but their use must be balanced with social awareness” . The doll owner’s refusal to move lacked flexibility, escalating the conflict. Meanwhile, the OP’s harsh words likely fueled the crowd’s judgment.

A 2019 European Transport Safety Council study found 60% of urban commuters face accessibility conflicts on public transport. Empathy and compromise are vital in such tight spaces. The OP could have calmly explained her sister’s condition, while the doll owner might consider less obstructive ways to carry her doll.

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Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit’s takes on this clash are as lively as a rush-hour bus. Here’s what they said:

FunkyOrangePenguin - NTA. I think this is one of the weirdest things I’ve read on here. Even if the doll is for grief-related purpose.. You could have handled it better but I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have..

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Argetlam53 - I tell this to let people know, it's not true that those dolls are prescripted for dealing with grief, there is not a good doctor who will do that.. So NTA, that woman was only batshit crazy.

_-Vio-_ - NTA.. I'd prioritize any living being over a doll.

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mrscatastrophe - Am I a bad human beeing for just thinking that I would have loved to just throw that doll out of the bus? I'm sorry, I'm the Oldest of 5 siblings, idk who you are when my babysister is sick or generally something important and you dont care cause of a doll or whatever... You can take the next bus and collect your precious babydoll from the sidewalk.. NTA

Miserable_Bat3909 - NTA, walking around with a doll who needs 'space' sounds like a huge first world problem. There's a sick kid who legit needs space. How can someone even begin to compare the situation to a doll. Madness. Info: do people in Europe actually walk around with dolls as a way to deal with grief? I live in a 3rd world country and i just can't wrap my head around it.

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charlotte1798 - NTA. It’s common understanding that You offer your seat to old people/ pregnant ladies / young children so given that you were with your baby sister, she should have made you some space. You could have asked her in a friendlier tone but you were stressed so I‘ll let you pass that.

[Reddit User] - NTA. I'd bet some of the people judging you didn't realize it was a doll and thought you were prioritizing a sick kid over a well one, which turns into splitting hairs and first come first served.

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kemmotar_veon - NTA yes she might need the baby doll for some therapy or something but it is not a real baby, and she could carry or handle the doll in any other fashion that does not occupied the space. Perhaps things could be handled better but to be honest I would have done the same

AnythingGoesBy2014 - YTA for taking infected kid to a fully crowded public transport despite having other means. 1. you compromized baby's health. 2. 2. you compromized everyone else's health. 3. panini is still going strong

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Basic_Bichette - Forget the lady and her doll. You, OP, are YTA of the week for taking a sick kid with a fever on public transportation when you had another option. This would 100% be the same verdict if we weren't still in the middle of a pandemic, by the way.

People with weak immune systems are more likely to be on public transportation than the average, because disabled people can't always drive. Do they deserve to catch whatever infection your baby sister has?

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These comments spark debate, but do they miss the nuances of empathy in crowded spaces?

This tale of a bus, a baby, and a doll highlights how public spaces test our patience. The OP’s stress was real, but her words stirred the pot. The doll owner’s stance raises questions about balancing personal needs with courtesy. What would you do in this cramped showdown? Share your thoughts!

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