AITA for telling a kid what “bisexual” means?

Imagine a sunny afternoon filled with the giggles of kids playing, only for a simple question to ignite a firestorm. A 32-year-old dad, happily raising his two kids with his partner, found himself in hot water after answering a 9-year-old friend’s innocent query about his bisexuality. What seemed like a straightforward explanation turned into a heated phone call from the friend’s outraged mother, accusing him of crossing a line. This Reddit tale has everyone buzzing about where curiosity meets parenting boundaries.

It’s a classic clash of openness versus caution, with a child’s curiosity caught in the middle. Was this dad wrong for keeping it real, or should he have dodged the question? The story pulls readers into the tricky terrain of explaining identity to kids, leaving us wondering how to balance honesty with respect for other parents’ rules.

‘AITA for telling a kid what “bisexual” means?’

New to Reddit and old fogey in internet terms (32), so sorry for anything that's wrong here. I'm a bi guy in a long term relationship with a guy, and I have two kids from my prior relationship, which was with a woman. We have full custody (long story) and are doing a bloody stellar job raising them if I say so myself.

Anyway, yesterday, my 8 y/o had a friend (9) over, and she asked me how come, if I'm gay, I had a girlfriend before (i.e. my kids' mum). I explained to her that I'm not gay, I'm bi, which means I like both men and women. She just responded 'oh cool I didn't know that was a thing' and then they went back to playing. No big deal. Or so I thought.

Got a phone call this morning from this kids mother and she was *furious* with me for explaining something so 's**ually explicit' to her daughter, and stating that they don't talk to her about 'these things' and now she's asking uncomfortable questions.

I apologised and said that I didn't actually tell her anything explicit, just that some people like both men and women. The mother is still mad at me for thinking that I have a right to decide what her child is and isn't educated on (not my intention at all). I'm kinda conflicted; I don't think I did anything wrong but at the same time I feel quite guilty. AITA?

Answering a child’s question about identity can feel like walking a tightrope, and this dad’s simple explanation landed him in unexpected trouble. The 9-year-old’s curiosity about his bisexuality was met with a clear, non-explicit response, but her mother saw it as overstepping. He aimed to be honest; she wanted control over her child’s exposure to such topics. Both perspectives stem from wanting what’s best for the kid, but the disconnect sparked conflict.

This scenario reflects a broader challenge: how to address kids’ questions about identity in a diverse world. A 2023 study by the American Psychological Association found that 68% of parents feel unprepared to discuss topics like sexuality with young children. The dad’s approach was age-appropriate, avoiding explicit details, but the mother’s reaction highlights differing comfort levels.

Child psychologist Dr. Laura Markham advises, “When kids ask about identity, answer simply and honestly to foster understanding.” Here, the dad followed this principle, but the mother’s protectiveness suggests a need for better communication between parents. A solution? He could have redirected the question to the child’s parents or offered a vaguer response like, “Some people love different kinds of people.”

See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit’s got opinions as colorful as a playground—let’s dive into the chatter!

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CannibalBun − NTA. Kids are smarter than adults given them credit for. Maybe she is asking uncomfortable questions to her parents, but its their job to clarify.

KBedrin986 − NTA, she asked you a question and you explained it without being explicit. It’s not your fault her parents are uptight and can’t answer simple questions about human sexuality. Would she rather her kid hear all these things from her friends and on the internet than learn from a trusted adult?

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BoilerUp31 − NTA. You didn’t describe your s** life or anything. She asked you what it meant, and you answered in a respectful, appropriate way.

robinsaysrawr − NTA. But that kid’s parents sure are. Uncomfortable questions-seriously? They need to actually parent and ANSWER the kids questions. Parenthood is chock full of them. Also you’re not a fogey. I’m 42 :)

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mattatvt − NTA if anything the mother didn't do her due diligence in looking into who her child would be being looked after. If she had such a problem with her kid knowing such a basic fact about the world, she shouldn't have sent her kid over to a house with two dads,

especially because it seems she hadn't talked about that with her kid and of course the kid is gonna ask questions when they're in a situation they've never experienced before. This is just proof that hate is taught, that kid just accepted it and went about her day.

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kinyutaka − NTA She asked a simple question, you gave a simple answer, and neither you or the kid expanded on it. Kid then went to mommy for education.

jsboklahoma1987 − NTA, nothing you said was inappropriate. A child asked an innocent question and you gave a truthful and appropriate response. That mom is clearly just avoiding answering like: where do babies come from and what does the word 's**ual' mean... She is blaming you for having to educate her child.

DrFolAmour007 − NTA It's like if some parents will be getting mad because their kid asked someone with a turban or something why he's wearing that and the guy just said 'oh, it's my religion, I'm Sikh', and then the kid is like 'oh I thought everyone was Christian' and then goes back to their parents and start asking questions about religion

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and the parents call out he Sikh dude bc they didn't wanted their kid to know about these things... To me the parents are delusional, they can't control what their kid ear or see and it isn't good at all to be like that. You just answer to the kid curiosity without saying anything out of place. The parents of the kid are the assholes here!

peonypegasus − NTA You didn't talk about s**. You didn't say anything explicit.

Right_Gas − Jesus Christ obviously you aren't the a**hole. Shitpost

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From cheering the dad’s honesty to questioning the mother’s overreaction, these takes are a lively mix. But do they get to the heart of this parenting puzzle, or just stir the pot?

This story is a reminder that kids’ curiosity doesn’t come with a rulebook, and neither does parenting. The dad’s honest answer was meant to enlighten, not offend, but it hit a nerve with another parent’s boundaries. Who’s in the right here? It’s a messy mix of good intentions and clashing values. Have you ever faced a tricky question from a kid? How would you navigate this situation? Share your thoughts below!

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