AITA for telling a guy he’s socially incompetent because he was rude the entire dinner?

A simple college dinner turned unexpectedly tense when one student found herself stuck across the table from someone who would not stop talking about himself. What started as a casual meal in the dining hall quickly became an exercise in patience, as constant interruptions and one-sided storytelling pushed her to the edge.

By the end of the night, things escalated even further when the same guy — seemingly oblivious to the mood at the table — asked for her number. Her blunt response left him visibly upset, and later, she questioned whether she had gone too far. Online, however, the reactions were loud, divided, and surprisingly thoughtful.

AITA for telling a guy he’s socially incompetent because he was rude the entire dinner?

The evening started out normal enough, just another campus dinner with classmates

So yesterday I was sitting at dinner at our college dining hall with a friend of mine, a guy I met from my class, and his friend. His friend was...

What began as mild annoyance slowly turned into full-blown frustration

He constantly interrupted everyone at the table, told stories that were completely unrelated to the stories being shared at the time, and everything that came out of his mouth was...

Literally nobody else. No questions, no comments about what someone previously had said, just what he wants to say next about HIM. This man was 23 acting like a 10...

After being cut off repeatedly, she finally tried to stand her ground

By around what felt like the fifth time he interrupted me, he proceeded to cut my friend off when she was right in the middle of a story with some...

I said “excuse me, my friend was talking.” He said sorry. And f__king continued to interrupt us when we were talking.

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When the dinner finally ended, she thought relief had arrived — but it didn’t stop there

I was ready for this dinner to be over since he already ruined it, and his friend could tell we were done with his social incompetence. His friend said they...

As we were leaving, he tried to hug me and I dodged the hug. He said something along the lines of “this was really fun, I want to ask for...

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He said why not. I hesitated, looked at my friend, and told him the truth. That he was rude all night long, constantly interrupted us, and did not seem to...

He seemed visibly upset and his friend shook my hand and they walked off. Every part of that man made me uncomfortable to my core, his behavior was just horrible.

I wish you could’ve seen his behavior to understand what I mean. I promise you I’m not overreacting; usually people like this seem ignorable but he was speaking every five...

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Later, doubt crept in after her friend criticized her reaction

My friend told me she understood why I said that but it was really bitchy of me and that I need to work on my reactions. I told her that...

I feel pretty bad, but at the same time, our other roommates told us that I was being reasonable after I explained the situation. My friend said that “I shouldn’t...

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At its core, this situation touches on something many people recognize instantly: social exhaustion. Being interrupted repeatedly can feel deeply invalidating. It sends the message that your voice matters less, even if that wasn’t the intention. Over time, that kind of behavior builds real frustration.

At the same time, social awareness is a skill — and not everyone has mastered it. Some people struggle with impulse control or reading cues. Still, awareness gaps do not automatically excuse the discomfort they cause. When someone asks for honest feedback, they may receive an answer they do not enjoy.

Relationship researcher Dr. John Gottman from The Gottman Institute has emphasized that “turning toward” others in conversation — responding to what they say instead of dominating the exchange — is a cornerstone of healthy social interaction. Conversations thrive on mutual attention. When that balance disappears, tension grows quickly.

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Practically speaking, there are a few approaches that can help in similar situations. Addressing interruptions calmly in the moment, as she initially did, is often effective. If behavior continues, a direct but composed explanation can create clarity. And importantly, no one is obligated to give out personal contact information to someone who makes them uncomfortable. Respect goes both ways.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Many users supported her decision, saying honesty was long overdue

Unknownnoname_ − NTA. This is a learning lesson for that guy. I have adhd and I have the HARDEST time NOT interrupting others.

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It’s just takes a lot more effort on my part to wait my turn to speak. I know everyone is different and some have a harder time being social or...

Just takes more effort for some of us. Also being told by someone to stop interrupting isn’t a negative thing. Give them the time to speak just as you’d want...

toosheeptheorist − NTA he asked for your number, you refused. He asked why, you answered truthfully. There is no reason for you to feel s__tty about this.

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sarabatgirl − “You shouldn’t put effort into pleasing weird men or making them feel comfortable” is the right take here. NTA.

Uncoordinated_Bird − NTA. Maybe he’s acted that way because no one has ever been brutally honest.

BaseTensMachine − If he's still hitting you up, you weren't rude ENOUGH. NTA.

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Others acknowledged the discomfort while offering a more balanced perspective

AWholeNewFattitude − So here’s the thing, maybe he doesn’t know, maybe he has no idea what he’s doing, maybe he really just doesn’t see those social cues, maybe it’s not...

But it’s also not your fault, or your responsibility, and honestly you may have done him a huge favor by slapping him across the face with reality to say “hey...

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Reckless_Teacup − NTA Doesn’t sound like your the AH. If someone was being rude and cutting everyone off all dinner I would feel the same way. I think you “snapped”...

I hate when this happens and it’s really awkward to say no but also you shouldn’t have to give someone your number that makes you uncomfortable. Good for you it’s...

PinkNGreenFluoride − NTA Ew. If your friend feels so bad for him, *she* can give him her number. Oh, she doesn't want to do that? Of course she doesn't.

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And of course you don't. Aaaaand now he's stalking you. Of course. You may need to bring this to the attention of your university.

[Reddit User] − **My friend said that “I shouldn’t put effort into pleasing weird men or making them feel comfortable. ” -** You're friend is wise NTA

KronkLaSworda − “it was really bitchy of me and that I need to work on my reactions. " NTA and your friend is way off base. Do you want more...

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That's how you make more AT's. Anyway, he demanded to know why you weren't interested, so you told him. Don't ask a question if you can't handle the answer.

My friend said that “I shouldn’t put effort into pleasing weird men or making them feel comfortable. ” This friend is correct!

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And a few people couldn’t resist adding humor to lighten the mood

medium_buffalo_wings − NTA That bahaviour is a massive pet peeve of mine. You did him a favour by letting him know what he dis wrong. It's up to him now...

True-Button-6471 − NTA - realistically, he needed to hear that and hopefully will take it as a learning moment.

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No_Mathematician2482 − NTA Always trust your gut. This man made you feel a way, and you should trust the feeling. My ex-husband was an over talker, it was miserable. He...

I now see that he acted this way because he was nothing but a wimpy little boy who needed to show others he wasn't. Maybe he listened to your feedback,...

constantlysprying − NTA. Shun him

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munkiisaurus − NTA. The friend who told you that you shouldn't put effort into pleasing men and making them feel uncomfortable is correct. They are not entitled to your time...

and it seems like this particular guy may have believed that since he continuously interrupted people and tried to make it a night about him. Good for you for calling...

A dinner that should have been simple ended with frustration, honesty, and lingering guilt. While some might argue she could have softened her delivery, many believe clear feedback was warranted after repeated interruptions and an uncomfortable interaction. Social skills can be learned — but no one is required to tolerate behavior that makes them uneasy. What would you have done in her place? Would you have kept the peace, or said exactly what was on your mind?

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