AITA for telling a girl she should have told me she had scars before I started tattooing her, and not refunding her deposit?

The hum of the tattoo needle was ready to sing, but a London studio turned into a battlefield of emotions instead. A young tattoo artist, known for his intricate designs, faced a client whose leg bore a secret—a jagged keloid scar from a car accident. She hoped ink could hide her painful past, but his rules were clear: no tattooing over such scars. What started as a routine booking spiraled into a clash over a £100 deposit and a spilled Pepsi.

Her distress was palpable, but so was his frustration—hours reserved, income lost, and a bad review looming. He stood by his terms, sent weeks earlier, but her fury and that shattered soda bottle left him questioning. Was he too harsh in keeping the deposit, or was she wrong for ignoring the fine print? This tale of ink and ire begs the question: who’s really at fault?

‘AITA for telling a girl she should have told me she had scars before I started tattooing her, and not refunding her deposit?’

I (25m) am a tattoo artist in London. I have a decent following online and this is how I get most of my appointments. A girl contacted me through Instagram to book in for a tattoo on her leg. Her plan was for a large tattoo (would take a full day sitting, maybe more if she was a bad sitter), so I took a £100 deposit as I always do for long appointments.

Every time someone contacts me for a tattoo, I send them a list of terms and conditions that outline parts of the booking process; the ones relevant to this scenario are that deposits are non-refundable, and that the skin has to be fit for tattooing with no keloid scarring (the style of tattoo that I do will not stick in keloid-scarred skin), and no scars that are less than a year old, etc.

I also request that if a client has a scar that will be in the tattooed area, they should send a picture. I also clarified what a keloid scar is, just to be sure. So, the girl turns up, and she gets out her leg, which has a huge keloid scar through the middle of the area she wants tattooed. She says she got it in a car accident and she needs it to be covered because it distresses her.

I told her that I'm really sorry to have to tell her, but I can't tattoo over her scar. It was very raised and clearly not fully settled, so even if I did a different style of tattoo, it wouldn't be a good idea. She got quite upset and asked if I could just try. I told her no, because I don't want to be sued if tattooing the scar messes up the healing of the scar. She then got angry, and demanded her deposit back.

This is where I think I'm the a**hole, because I immediately said no way. I told her that I sent her a list of the rules before the appointment that make it very clear she needed to make it known that she had a scar, and her disregard of these rules has essentially lost me around £600 of revenue because I'm unlikely to fill the slots for the day that I'd reserved for her.

She was super mad, and stormed out after slapping my bottle of pepsi onto the floor. She left a horrible review online, and I do feel like a d**k to be honest. I was frustrated she hadn't read the terms I sent her despite saying she had (she replied 'got it, thanks!' to the message) and it would lose me a lot of money, but it was clear she was distressed about her leg. AITA?

Tattooing is an art, but it’s also a business with rules sharper than a needle. The artist’s refusal to tattoo over a keloid scar was rooted in caution—medically sound, given scars can complicate healing. The client’s distress is understandable, but her failure to disclose the scar, despite clear terms, set the stage for this mess. Her tantrum and Pepsi-smashing exit didn’t help her case.

This scenario reflects a broader issue: miscommunication in client-based businesses. A 2023 survey by Small Business Trends found 68% of service disputes stem from unclear expectations (source). Here, the artist’s terms were explicit, but did she truly understand them? Relying solely on a message risks oversight.

Dr. John Duffy, a business psychologist, notes, “Clear, proactive communication prevents most client conflicts. Assumptions on either side can lead to resentment” (source). The artist could have requested a photo upfront, while the client should have read the rules. Both assumed too much.

ADVERTISEMENT

For solutions, the artist might offer to hold the deposit for a future session when the scar is healed, showing goodwill. Clients should be encouraged to ask questions before paying.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit’s tattooed and opinionated masses chimed in with a mix of sympathy and shade. Here’s a sampling of their unfiltered takes, from practical advice to fiery clapbacks:

ADVERTISEMENT

Jackniferuby − NTA. I’m heavily tattooed and understand certain aspects like this need to be considered. HOWEVER- if it’s a deal breaker for you personally as a tattooer- this should have been something you asked her during the consultation - not something just stated in fine print on the release form.

Not only that- but anytime I’ve made an appointment sight unseen for a piece- I was required to send a photo of the exact spot I wanted the work done. I think she was an A because of how she responded , but I suggest you re-evaluate your appointment protocol to avoid things like this for all parties involved.

ADVERTISEMENT

waterbuffalo750 − INFO: is the document she agreed to a multiple page, small type, legal document that nobody actually reads? Or is it a few quick bullet points?

Fauzyb125 − NTA. You sent her the terms, she agreed to them regardless if she read them or not.

ADVERTISEMENT

zaxscdvfbgbgnhmjj − INFO: did she pay the deposit before or after she read the terms? Because you can't be taking people's money and then attaching terms afterward. If they will forfeit their money for having scars that needs to be absolutely clear to them before you take any money.

mimidaler − ESH. I think it's rather irresponsible of you to not ask for a picture of the body part to be tattooed first or meet the client. A client could turn up and have a skin issue or a mole that is problematic that they hadn't noticed first and they could lose a deposit over it and waste your time.

She probably didn't read your terms either. She was silly for not reading the terms and planning to be tattooed by someone she's never even met in a studio she hasn't checked out first. She was also immature.. Sounds like you were both bring foolish.

ADVERTISEMENT

cman_yall − I send them a list of terms and conditions INFO: how long is this T&C document? If it's EULA level, then YTA... if it's short and to the point, NTA.

throwawayskeez − This is one of those interesting AITA posts because you're not WRONG... but yeah, you're a bit of an AH in this situation. You are absolutely correct about your policies, and you did technically stick to them... But this sounds like genuine human error on this patron's fault.

She either missed or misread this part in what you sent her, you never specifically highlighted it in your conversations, she was clearly upset by a traumatic event to her, and she wasn't trying to scam you or anything. You certainly didn't HAVE to refund her her deposit, and inflexibly adhering to your own rules doesn't inherently make you an a**hole.

ADVERTISEMENT

But in this particular situation, it kind of sounds like an honest mistake on her part, that you took advantage of. I think this could be a lesson to her in reading contracts more carefully, but it could just as easily be a lesson for you in how you handle new patrons and how you handle initial conversations with prospective clients.. So, I guess, ESH?

Edit: No, I mean... I GET it, I really do. A deposit is a smart business move, and that's NOT what makes him the AH here. It's just... the way the story is written makes it sound like the client's motives were sensitive and emotional, and the OP's motives were purely about his money. She started getting upset about not being able to cover up her scar, and he immediately jumped to protect his deposit.

I think if the OP had, say, offered to empathize with her; or had offered to recommend her to artists he knew who had techniques that would work for what she had; or had offered to hold her deposit until her scar had been healed long enough; or... like almost anything other than how he handled the whole intake and situation, then he would automatically be NTA.

ADVERTISEMENT

But, the way he handled it was an a**hole move, and unnecessarily so. She's an a**hole too for putting down a deposit without fully reading the contract, BUT there are more customer-friendly ways to handle their mistakes.

needsmore_coffee − NTA - if it was listed in the rules that she acknowledged then you did nothing wrong. You run a business and unfortunately she loses money for her mistake

Emmyfishnappa − NTA. Her behavior was way out of line and she should have read the rules. Likely she just ignored it because she wanted the scar covered. Personally I would have given her the deposit back to avoid the bad review, but you had every right to not give it back to her.

ADVERTISEMENT

BeowulfShaeffer − Asking who the a**hole is is the wrong question. You’re running a business and the real question is which action costs you more in the long run: giving a customer back her deposit as a sign of goodwill or dealing with the ill will and bad word of mouth that will come from her if you keep it. When you’re in business you have to deal with irrational and unpleasant people sometimes.

These Redditors aren’t shy, but do their hot takes hold ink, or are they just sketching drama? What’s the real cost of a bad review versus a lost deposit?

This inky saga leaves us pondering the line between rigid rules and human error. The artist protected his business but may have bruised a client’s trust, while her outburst cost her more than just £100. Could a kinder approach have saved the day, or was standing firm the only way? Share your thoughts—what would you do as the artist or the client in this tattooed tangle?

ADVERTISEMENT
Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *