AITA For Telling A Girl It’s Not My Fault She’s Overweight?

In a world where group chats buzz with teenage banter, one video call turned into a battleground over body image. Picture a cozy evening, screens glowing with familiar faces, when the conversation takes a sharp turn into personal territory. A teenage girl, known for her twig-like frame, faces a barrage of comments from a friend who’s wrestling with her own insecurities. The tension spikes, words fly, and suddenly, someone’s in tears. It’s a classic clash of frustration and misunderstanding, where good intentions get tangled in raw emotions.

What happens when casual remarks about weight ignite a firestorm? The original poster (OP), a 16- or 17-year-old girl, finds herself at the center of this drama, grappling with her own struggles while defending her space. Readers can’t help but wonder: how do you navigate a minefield of body talk without someone getting hurt?

‘AITA For Telling A Girl It’s Not My Fault She’s Overweight?’

So I am underweight. I'm a literal twig, and have fast metabolism too. It's not fun at all, cause i can eat a whole chicken and barely gain weight, and the 'just eat' comments from people get on my nerves so much. There's this girl, let's call her S. I don't really know her a lot, but she's friends with someone in our friend group and in our chat..

S is overweight and very self-conscious. She's also very overbearing and loves to argue over the little things. So we were video chatting , me , her and a few other people. We were talking about something, and then S somehow starts talking bout weight.

S over here says that Im a twig, and asks if I diet because it's going overboard if I do. So of course I don't say anything and then S continues and says she wishes she was like me cause I have the easy life. At that point my friends told her to stop and she keeps going and asks me if I eat at all sometimes..

What really made me mad was when she asked if I starved myself. Or if I had an ED. I told her not everyone here gains weight easily, and that being skinny and healthy are not the same thing. (terms of health) and that it's not my fault she's overweight/slow metabolism.

That was a low blow but I was so tired of her little comments. She started crying, and said how she's so self-conscious of her weight and she was just complimenting me. Then left the call . A few of my friends are on my side, but some say that I should have not attacked her in that subject.. Aita?. Edit: Ya'll I'm a girl.

Edit: Skinny≠healthy (mostly). Also I'm not trying to say fat shaming isn't bad , honestly it's worse than skinny shaming imo, and I am lucky that I can eat without getting lots of weight but it's annoying sometines.

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But don't think ED's are complimenting , calling someone a twig isn't either 💕 Also saying just eat doesn't work either❤️ Like damn never thought of that.. Don't say eat less either. Just don't skinny/fat shame in general people.. We're all teens btw. Between 16-17.

Body image talk can feel like walking on eggshells, especially among teens. The OP’s clash with S reveals a common struggle: navigating personal insecurities in a social setting. S’s comments about OP’s thinness, while perhaps meant as compliments, crossed into intrusive territory, especially when suggesting an eating disorder. OP’s retort, though sharp, stemmed from frustration. Both teens are caught in a cycle of projecting their body image struggles, a dynamic all too common in adolescence.

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This situation reflects a broader issue: body shaming, whether targeting thinness or weight gain, often stems from societal pressure. A 2019 study from the Journal of Adolescent Health found that 65% of teens face body-related comments from peers, amplifying self-consciousness. Both OP and S are navigating this pressure, but their approaches—S’s probing and OP’s blunt response—escalated the conflict. S’s persistence despite warnings suggests a lack of social awareness, while OP’s comeback, though truthful, hit a sensitive nerve.

Dr. Lisa Damour, a clinical psychologist, notes in The New York Times , “Teens are hypersensitive to peer judgment, and body comments can feel like personal attacks.” In OP’s case, S’s remarks likely felt like an assault on her identity, prompting a defensive snap. For S, being called out on her weight tapped into deep insecurities, leading to tears.

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To move forward, both could benefit from setting boundaries. OP might calmly redirect future comments, saying, “I’d rather not talk about my body.” S should learn to respect others’ privacy. Open dialogue, perhaps with a trusted adult, could help them understand each other’s perspectives.

Check out how the community responded:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a spicy mix of support and shade. Here’s what they had to say, raw and unfiltered:

drawingmentally − NTA. She was being offensive, you only faced it with facts.

limark − NTA - She brought it up and was warned to stop, anything beyond that is her own damn fault. As you've said, skinny doesn't equal healthy and she has no business trying to judge you on your size.

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[Reddit User] − NTA she was insulting you and then got mad you said something back. Should have thought her words through better.

popoutzombie − NTA. She should have stopped making comments directed at your weight and health after you didn't answer. Anyone with basic social skills would have picked up on that and it sounded like she was trying to bait you into a fight. She wasn't 'complimenting' you-- she was making underhanded remarks so when she was called out she could make turn it back on you.

It sounds to me like she has some narcissistic traits. She needs to apologize to you and learn to respect personal boundaries about health. Not everyone is comfortable discussing their weight and health casually. She doesn't get to dictate that for you and become upset when someone comments about her own appearance in return.

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acykq − I'd say ESH honestly. She sucks because you shouldn't talk about anyone else's weight unprovoked and she was saying s**tty things, although I can see, as someone who is also overweight, how she could think what she was saying was a compliment. Though that could just be me trying to give the benefit of the doubt. It's still her projecting her weight-related self image issues onto you,

and is completely tone deaf, insulting and self-centred. I say you suck also (although much much less than S) because no one likes being called overweight despite how true, there's definitely a stigma associated with it and overweight people already know that they're overweight. In the same way you don't appreciate your weight being talked about, it was a low blow

dreadedbeedee − NTA. As someone who also received a lot of 'eat a burger' & 'you're so skinny, you're so lucky' comments, I understand your situation. It's frustrating.. People commenting on others weight (skinny or fat) is inappropriate.. Remember, back handed compliments are coming from a place of jealousy.

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nicwampler − ESH. Body shaming is whack both ways. She’s more the A but you’re still one too.

admirer1003 − NTA Being underweight can be just as bad for being overweight to some people she literally joked and talked about u being skinny incessantly im overweight as f**k and i know its my fault i can diet and work out and i know id beskinnier but i havent she can too if shes gonna say haha u have it so easy and say u have ed then she cant be mad when u say how she has her issues being overweight

ZeroGTFO − WTF? In what world 'Are you starving yourself or do you have any type of ED?' qualifies as a compliment? That's some s**tty excuse from her just to bodyshame you for being skinny. Yes, you might have been a little rude about how you said things but it's understandable in this situation where you might have lost your temper.

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I'm definitely with the NTA side with a slight touch of maybe you could try to be 'above her' and just stop at 'being skinny and healthy is not the same' if you're interested in not hurting people. But in this case, if what you said that she is true, you're justified to be angry and it's totally possible to receive that kind of hurtful response if she is constantly teasing someone about anything. NTA.

[Reddit User] − NTA, unless you’re checking up on a close friend don’t ask people if they have eating disorders. I’m super skinny, always have been, though I did have anorexia throughout high school. I hated when people asked me about it then,

I hate when people ask me about it now. I don’t understand why fat people think it’s ok to boil someone’s entire existence down to the number on the scale of its low, but will act like you committed a war crime if you do the same thing back to them.

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These hot takes range from fist bumps for OP’s honesty to raised eyebrows at S’s tactics. Some see S’s tears as a deflection, others think OP could’ve been gentler. But do these Reddit roasts capture the full vibe, or are they just adding fuel to the fire?

This teenage showdown highlights how quickly body talk can spiral into hurt feelings. OP stood her ground, but at the cost of S’s tears. S pushed boundaries, only to face a harsh truth. It’s a messy slice of teen life where everyone’s learning, stumbling, and trying to find their place. What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Share your thoughts and experiences—how do you handle body image comments in your own circle?

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