AITA for taking my mother’s side over my wife’s over childcare and future plans?

A family dinner meant to celebrate a mother’s vibrant career took a sharp turn when her son, his wife, and their three kids (ages 2-8) faced her big news: she and her supportive husband plan to move to London for three years so she can earn a bachelor’s degree in fibre arts, a field she’s already mastered as a guild president and global teacher. Her son’s siblings, with their own kids, leaned on her for childcare, but her passion calls her away.

The man’s wife, stung by the loss of a key childcare source her own parents live abroad called the move selfish, arguing grandkids should trump a “pointless” degree. Hurt rippled through his mom, siblings fired back, and he stood by his mom’s dreams, leaving his wife feeling betrayed. This Reddit tale buzzes with duty and dreams let’s unpack it.

‘AITA for taking my mother’s side over my wife’s over childcare and future plans?’

This family feud weaves love, duty, and clashing expectations. The man’s mom, a fibre arts trailblazer, earned her shot at a degree after decades of family-first focus, with her husband’s full support. Her son’s wife, stressed by childcare gaps, lashed out, framing the move as a betrayal of grandkids’ needs, wounding Mom and sparking sibling backlash. The man’s choice to back his mom’s dreams over his wife’s plea strained their bond.

Grandparenting isn’t a contract. A 2023 AARP study shows 61% of grandparents provide occasional childcare, but only 14% see it as a duty. Mom’s past help was a gift, not a right, and her degree chase valid for personal growth doesn’t dim her love for grandkids. The wife’s public callout, bypassing private talks, turned a need into a demand, alienating all.

Dr. Susan Newman, a family dynamics expert, notes, “Assuming grandparents owe childcare breeds resentment open talks, not guilt, align expectations”. The wife’s “grandma first” stance ignored Mom’s identity; the man’s siding with Mom was fair but left his wife isolated. Siblings’ “not family” jab was cruel, deepening the rift.

Mend this with care: he should hear his wife’s stress, validate her childcare fears, and explore paid help or local networks. Apologize to Mom privately, affirming her dreams while noting wife’s strain. Wife owes Mom a sorry for the harsh words. A family Zoom could reset share needs, cheer Mom’s goal. Teamwork, not blame, keeps this clan tight.

Check out how the community responded:

Reddit swung hard for the man, calling his wife entitled for guilting his mom. The crowd cheers Mom’s dream chase, seeing her childcare as a bonus, not a must, and slams the wife’s “pointless degree” jab as selfish. Grandkids don’t lock grandparents down, they say wife should solve her own childcare, maybe bug her own parents.

Some fault her for airing gripes publicly, not privately with her husband first, setting him up for a tough spot. Siblings’ harsh words get a wince, but most back the man’s stance Mom’s earned her freedom. Suggestions? Wife apologizes, couple finds daycare, and Mom soars in London. Love Dad’s “secretary” vibe too cute couple goals.

This family saga spins a clash of dreams and duties Mom’s bold degree pursuit in London hit a wall when her son’s wife, childcare stressed, called it selfish, wounding hearts. He backed Mom’s freedom, leaving his wife stung, but siblings’ barbs cut too deep. Talks, apologies, and new childcare plans could stitch this up. Share your thoughts, feelings, and fixes below let’s unravel this family knot!