AITA for taking my baby and leaving my fiancé because of what he said about breastfeeding?

A new mother uncovered her fiancé’s disturbing confession: breastfeeding their daughter aroused him, leading to a request to wake the sleeping baby for feeding. Shocked and protective, she packed light and vanished the next day, relocating far away and cutting contact.

Nine years later, explaining to a friend why she’s a single mom sparked judgment she overreacted, depriving the child of a father over an unacted fetish. Now she questions if instinctual flight was wrong, or maternal duty right.

‘AITA for taking my baby and leaving my fiancé because of what he said about breastfeeding?’

The relationship began sweetly, opposites attracting across accents and personalities:

I have recently explained to my friend why I am a single mum to my now 9yo. To give as much context, I’ll start from beginning. I was an only...

I made some in college, and through one of them, I met my ex fiancé Harry. He was the total opposite of me. Extroverted, confident and good looking. He said...

Pregnancy brought joy, with Harry enthusiastically researching breastfeeding:

Anyways fast forward to when I was 22 and he was 23, we are engaged and I found out I’m pregnant. I tell him and he’s happy even though it’s...

But we know nothing about raising babies since I was an only child and he was the youngest of two. I was shy of going to a parenting class so...

One night we came across a breastfeeding channel and he was really interested and adamant he’d want our baby to be breastfed. I didn’t mind either way. The more videos...

the more he wanted the baby to be a girl because he said it would be weird if I breastfed a boy. I thought it was a weird comment but...

A little complications as she was early and had some problems latching on. I bottle fed her for the first few weeks after nursing her because she wasn’t getting enough...

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He would feed me a lot and give me water to help my produce more milk, he would be watching breastfeeding videos late at night to try and get more...

I did notice every time he did that, he would go to the bathroom for a short time like 2 minutes and wash his hands. He did sometimes get milk...

When we were intimate, I would leak milk from both breasts to which he loved. So I thought it was wierd he would be scrubbing the milk off his hands.

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I finally asked him why he always washed his hands every time he helps to breastfeed but he just looked embarrassed so I quickly laughed it off and changed the...

The confession shattered everything:

That same night we were both in bed, he texted me “hey”. I thought he was just being silly as he was right next to me so I humoured him...

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I froze. My whole world came crashing down. It’s one thing to have a fetish but for your baby to be involved in that fetish is just sick. I couldn’t...

I replied “okay”. He then turned and asked if I’m okay. I just said yes. Then he turned over again and texted me if I can feed Holly again right...

The following day he left for work in the morning as usual, I gave him a kiss and said I’ll call him on his lunch break. We FaceTimed on his...

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Holly was only 6 months at the time so I didn’t have a passport for her so I knew I couldn’t leave the country yet, but I sure wasn’t staying...

I moved back to my home city, stayed with my grandmother for two months before I could rent a place for myself. I blocked Harry on everything. My FB is...

Fast forward to the present, my friend says I’m TAH and I overreacted, I cheated my daughter out of a great father because he didn’t actually physically touch her. Did...

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Sexual arousal tied to infant feeding—particularly involving one’s own child—crosses ethical boundaries, blending adult desire with non-consenting vulnerability. Even absent physical contact, requests incorporating the baby risk emotional harm and future escalation.

Maternal instinct often detects subtle threats rational minds minimize; fleeing preserved safety without confrontation’s dangers. Long-term no-contact shields from manipulation or grooming risks.

Therapy aids processing betrayal while affirming protective choices. Children’s resilience grows from stable, safe environments over forced “two-parent” ideals masking toxicity. Trusting gut reactions in parenthood balances love with vigilance—preventing regret far outweighs temporary judgment.

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Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Every commenter strongly supported the mother’s decision to leave, viewing the fetish as dangerously involving the child and potentially predatory:

fish0814 - That's too weird. Wake up the baby for his fetish. The baby has to be involved. Not turned on unless the baby is involved. Sick s__t. You are...

Maybe you should have explained why. I had a feeling this wasn't going to end very well when he kept watching the videos on breastfeeding. He wasn't helping you get...

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Kareja1 - TW: CSA My ex husband started making similar type comments with his new girlfriend after we split. She didn't take it seriously. He's in prison now for assaulting...

ToxicChildhood - Umm NTA. Wtf. Don’t listen to those who tell you that you did the wrong thing. You didn’t. You protected your child which is what a mother is...

We realize that, after his confession, “can you breastfeed Holly right now” = “Wake up Holly so I can watch my BABY breastfeed while I get a boner than go...

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How the f__k does anyone think that’s okay or even remotely “innocent” or “acceptable”. You protected your child OP. Don’t ever fee bad for that.

YouSayWotNow - Personally I don't think you overreacted. It's one thing for him to be turned on by leaking breasts while the two of you are being intimate

and the baby isn't presen (though I still find it a bit ick) but being turned on by a scenario that involves your own baby daughter being fed is a...

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PolygonMan - I mean, I thought my wife's boobs were super sexy when she was breastfeeding (well all the time, but especially then), and I would be lying if I...

But jesus f__king christ I recognized that the thing that was turning me on (my wife's milky boobs) should not mix with the rest of this scene (my child) which...

I guess if that didn't help I would have physically left the area, although I never had to do so. F__king christ asking for your wife to breastfeed your child...

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theudoon - Your friend is an i__ot. Yes he didn't touch her. .. YET. But who knows what might have happened if you had stayed, would it have been worth...

Silvangelz - NTA. So many disgusting factors to this. The comment about it being weird if it was a boy - because the baby being a boy would have ruined...

Because that's ultimately what it is - it's not about your breasts or even the milk. It's about the BABY feeding. That's what turned him on, so it being a...

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Then of course there's asking you to feed the baby when she was already asleep - guaranteed he was going to try to have some form of s__ right there,...

He was trying to incorporate your baby into his s__ual relief. I'm just so grossed out on your behalf. So proud of you for doing what was necessary and getting...

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Ill-Commission4121 - NTA. Just curious tho , in 9 years he never reported you and baby missing to police?

bluepushkin - NTA. If it was about your body and the lactation was what turned him on, sure, if he's into that. But the fact it had to involve the...

He was getting himself off directly after helping his daughter feed and requested you intentionally involve her in his fetish whilst he was actively aroused. That's not okay. That's far...

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[Reddit User] - NTA at all. He's not turned on by lactation, he doesnt have some sort of breastfeeding kink, he wanted you to wake your baby to involve her...

Scandalicing - No, this is revolting and I’m so very sorry sorry NTA

jbarneswilson - NTA as a mom myself, i would’ve done what it took to protect my kid in that situation

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[Reddit User] - GIRL THE WAY MY JAW DROPPED. Your friend must be into that s__t too and I'd drop them like a sack of town potatoes for defending that...

Please assume that she's gonna tell him. . Absolutely, unequivocally NTA. You are doing an amazing job mama bear! Please have a talk with your daughter as soon as possible....

She's gonna want to know and I think that she should know as early as possible so that it's a norm for her that her dad is unsafe.

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It's because of s__t like this that I told my son at a very young age (5) that there are bad people who will try to touch his body in...

I even included letting him know that if they said anything to scare him into not telling, not to worry because his dad and I would find them and beat...

I said the same for my niece too. Someone tried to make her touch their penis when she was 6 but because of the talks we had with her, she...

Let your baby know you will turn into a rabid demon that will eat a human whole so that no piece of s__t will ever scare her into thinking she...

Dragon_Bidness - NTA Was ok until he brought the baby into things. That's messed the f__k up. If it's not peado its very peado adjacent. Too close for comfort.

Aromatic-Camera947 - everyone calling you an AH is a sick pervert

A confession blurred intimate support into predatory territory, prompting flight that severed ties but secured safety. Years later, judgment questions the exit—yet protection echoes loudest.

When arousal demands a child’s presence, where lies the line between private kink and shared violation? If instinct screams danger absent overt acts, does hesitation risk more than departure? How might explaining—or withholding—shape a daughter’s future trust in boundaries? In safeguarding innocence, what “overreactions” prove wisest loves? Reflect and share below.

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