AITA for not sharing my late son’s life insurance with his girlfriend?

Parents kept their late son’s $750,000 life insurance, leaving his girlfriend nothing. Their son Eric, 33, died in an accident, leaving the payout to his parents. He lived with his girlfriend Emily, 30, in a home they bought together, splitting costs equally. Eric mentioned proposing and updating his life insurance to support her, but never did. His parents plan to use the money to ease their grief and retire early.

Their other son, Mike, called them selfish for not helping Emily with her mortgage share, arguing it’s what Eric would have wanted. The parents, grieving and facing health issues, see the money as their son’s support for them. Reddit debates their decision, questioning its fairness. Were they wrong to keep the payout? Should they help Emily?

‘AITA for not sharing my late son’s life insurance with his girlfriend?’

Eric died in an accident last year:

My son Eric passed away in an accident in October of last year. He was 33. He wasn't married, but he lived with his girlfriend (Emily) of only 2 years,...

They each paid half of the down payment and had been splitting the mortgage equally (as well as all of the rest of their bills). She makes about $80k per...

Eric planned to propose and update his insurance:

About 6 months before he passed, my son mentioned that he was "thinking about proposing" but it would be a few years before we actually married, in a later conversation...

That's all that was ever said about it - obviously he passed before he ever decided to propose. This means the entire life insurance went to me and my wife.

My wife and I are both in our late 50's. We usually do okay financially but losing our son has completely shaken our worlds and we've been taking some time...

They plan to use it for their mortgage and retirement:

This money will allow us to pay off the rest of our mortgage, take stress off of our lives while we grieve, and hopefully retire a couple years earlier than...

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Our other son, Mike, came over for dinner yesterday and we mentioned that we received his life insurance payout. He went quiet for a minute and asked how much we're...

We explained that we have good intentions to use the money to make our lives easier going forward - this is why our son left it to us, to help...

Mike criticized them for not helping Emily:

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Later way after he left, Mike said he understands that we're grieving but we're selfish and narcissistic for not considering how tough this is for Emily and not even helping...

He said we're kidding ourselves if we think Eric would have wanted this. I've tried to keep emotions out of it and stick to the facts. All of us -...

Tl;dr: My late son left his life insurance to my wife and I and I'm not sure if we're being assholes by not letting his girlfriend have some of it...

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Edit: just for clarification the house they bought was expensive but they paid more for the view (s__tty house on a gorgeous river) than the property. My spn rented it...

and after 1.5 years of memories in it together they couldn't walk when it went up for sale. The house itself is outdated and far from a dream home for...

The parents’ decision to keep their son’s $750,000 life insurance payout reflects their need to alleviate financial and emotional strain after his tragic death. Losing a child is devastating, and their plan to pay off their mortgage and retire early, given their medical struggles, is understandable. However, Eric’s co-ownership of a home with Emily and his expressed intent to update his insurance to support her suggest he viewed her as a long-term partner, complicating the moral landscape.

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Emily’s financial burden—half of a $300,000 mortgage on a $80,000 salary—highlights the practical impact of their decision. Life insurance often aims to replace lost income for dependents (Hunt, 2018), and Eric’s contributions to their shared home indicate Emily was partially dependent on him. Denying her any support disregards his likely wishes, especially since he mentioned updating his beneficiary to protect her.

Legally, the parents are entitled to the payout as named beneficiaries, but morally, their choice risks appearing self-serving. Keeping the entire sum while Emily faces financial strain could strain family relationships, especially with Mike, who sees their actions as unfair. Their grief does not negate Emily’s loss or her shared commitment with Eric, which included significant financial ties.

To resolve this, they should consider allocating a portion—perhaps $150,000 for Eric’s mortgage share—to ease Emily’s burden, aligning with his intentions. An open discussion with Mike and Emily could clarify expectations and foster healing. Consulting a financial advisor or mediator might help balance their needs with fairness. Honoring Eric’s wishes by supporting Emily would reflect his values while preserving family harmony.

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Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Reddit slams the parents’ decision, urging them to honor their son’s wishes with passion.

Many condemn the parents for withholding the funds:

tan_sandoval - Eric's half of the house would be $150k. There may be other debts that he shared with Emily that he left behind, so let's round that number up...

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So doing right by Emily would cost you $200k. You received $750k. It SHOULD be a no brainer to do the right thing by Emily. You know it's what your...

If $550k isn't enough for you that you still need to grasp at that last $200k and leave the woman your son wanted to marry in a bad situation, you...

Reportersteven - Morally, YTA. Legally, congrats I guess? You really think your son wouldn’t give a dime to his girlfriend? But thanks for the reminder that I really need to...

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Pasta_Bum - YTA. Your son would be disgusted and you know it.

Forsaken_Piglet7517 - We lost our son but yay for earlier retirement and f__k his gf she is not a part of family - is this what you tried to write?

Some emphasize Eric’s intentions for Emily’s support:

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Easy_Floss - in a later conversation he mentioned plans to update his life insurance because he wouldn't want to leave a wife with nothing. and We explained that we have...

he said that he did not want to leave his SO with nothing and still you left his SO with nothing cus you wanted to make your living easier. How...

Edit: Just sucks for his SO that he did not think about passing early so he could save his SO from his money garbing relatives I guess. Again YTA.

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Milskidasith - I've tried to keep emotions out of it and stick to the facts. this is why our son left it to us, to help out should anything tragic...

Your son likely left the money to you because you were his parents when he started the job and never got around to modifying the beneficiary. He had clearly reached...

as evidenced by the fact they bought a house together, and he would obviously have wanted his insurance payout to go to her (at least in part) the same way...

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You are legally free to keep the money but YTA for lying to yourselves and your son about why you're doing it so you can feel better. You are heartless.

CrazyRomAuthor - YTA and the tone in your post says you know it. Yes your son was short sighted and didn't move fast enough to protect the woman he loved...

He said he was going to make sure she was taken care of so you know what you should do. Take care of the woman he loved.

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TerrifyinglyAlive - . ..not even helping her by giving her enough to pay off his share of the house. ..He said we're kidding ourselves if we think Eric would have...

Others highlight Emily’s financial burden post-loss:

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Fittest_Hypnotist - The “purpose” of life insurance is to replace the income lost that a deceased loved one would’ve contributed. He was contributing to his household with GF. Unless he...

GF needs the money to maintain her current lifestyle. You are trying to enhance yours with it. You are being selfish. It’s crazy you won’t give her anything. She should...

Similar_Pineapple418 - YTA I am sorry for your loss, truly. But if your son mentioned wanting to change his life insurance to you, and your other son agree that’s what...

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Your son and Emily owe $300k left on the house. His half is $150k. Giving her only that much is still $600k for you and your wife. That’s a still...

salydra - YTA - You knew he was planning to propose, that he bought a house with her, AND that he was planning to name her beneficiary. It's nice you...

Some urge moral responsibility over legal entitlement:

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Dafuzz - YTA. Your son did not make you his beneficiary to make your life easier going forward, he made you beneficiary because he trusted you to disperse the monies...

Posterbomber - YTA - Of course people are going to think that of you, you can't act like it and expect people to think it. You said yourself this is...

but a portion for sure to help her get through this time until she's ready to move on. DONT YOU fault her when she's ready to move on and DO...

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but at least now we can retire early" What kind of people plan their retirement investments around the death of their son? You were never supposed to get money from...

DelurkingtoComment - YTA really a $750k payout and you can’t help Emily at all? Stay like this and you’ll probably lose your other son too.

The parents’ decision to keep their late son’s $750,000 life insurance payout, despite his girlfriend Emily’s financial ties to him, has sparked family tension. Eric’s intent to propose and update his insurance suggests he wanted to support Emily, who now faces a hefty mortgage alone.

Reddit condemns their choice, urging them to honor his wishes. Were the parents wrong to keep all of their son’s life insurance payout? How should families handle life insurance disputes involving unmarried partners? Let’s pose more questions below, shall we?

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One Comment

  1. YTA and I think you know YTA and youre out here hoping for validation. Your son would be disgusted by you. Filthy and greedy.