AITA for taking MIL’s fiance’s threat to sue us seriously and wanting him banned from family events?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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Picture a lively family gathering, champagne flutes clinking, and a sparkling lab-grown diamond catching the light on a newly engaged woman’s finger. For one bride-to-be, let’s call her Emma, the joy of her engagement announcement was dimmed by a sharp jab from her future mother-in-law’s fiancé, Chris. His snide remark about her ring’s “lesser” sparkle ignited a firestorm, with Emma firing back about his unpaid child support. Now, with Chris threatening a lawsuit and the family in chaos, Emma’s drawing a line in the sand.

This isn’t just about a flashy ring or a bruised ego—it’s a tale of clashing values and family loyalty. When Chris’s legal threats landed in Emma’s inbox, she banned him from her wedding and family events, splitting the family down the middle. Reddit’s got opinions hotter than a summer barbecue. Was Emma right to take a stand, or did she fan the flames too far? Let’s unpack this drama.

‘AITA for taking MIL’s fiance’s threat to sue us seriously and wanting him banned from family events?’

I recently got engaged to my BF was four years. We are beyond excited. His mom has always been a nightmare, but I'm not worried about it as he handles her. She got engaged a few months before we did to 'Chris' I somewhat know Chris as his ex wife is one of my mom's best friends.

I know just through their friendship that Chris never paid child support. They split when their son was 12 and he never gave her a dime despite making very good money. Due to this I've never respect Chris, but he has gotten worst in the past year due to an issue between him and my fiance.

When we got engaged I was showing everyone my ring and he loudly asked MIL what she would have said if he proposed with that ring. She gave him a look, but he kept going and was laughing about how she would have just walked out (hers is much bigger and probably real diamond where mine is lab diamond which is what I wanted)

I announced that Chris maybe shouldn't be spending so much on a ring when he must owe his ex a s**t ton in unpaid child support, and don't men go to jail for that. He looked mortified and obviously the family was curious. MIL snapped at me and they left.

I thought it was over, but Chris's ex called me and chewed me out. She said she didn't want child support because she can take care of her own child, and she believes men have rights as well and Chris has begged her to abort. She was really rude about it and hung up on me.

Again I thought it was over, but Chris sent me a message that if I opened my stupid mouth again he would sue for deformation. I took this very seriously as he is a lawyer. i told everyone I cannot be around Chris. I won't be going to their wedding. He can't come to ours, and I will not attend family events if he is there.

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Most of the family took my side and said they would stop inviting Chris. Now this has blown up into MIL saying she will never speak to any of us again, and GFIL is backing her. The family is in absolute turmoil and MIL is threatening to disown her own son if he doesn't say Chris can come to our wedding.

Emma’s showdown with Chris is a classic case of personal jabs escalating into family warfare. Dr. Susan Heitler, a clinical psychologist, notes, “Publicly shaming someone, even if justified, can ignite conflicts that ripple through families” , weakening his case if Emma’s statement is accurate.

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This situation taps into a larger issue: family dynamics strained by new partners. A 2020 study in Family Relations found that stepfamily conflicts often arise from perceived disloyalty or financial disputes . Chris’s insult to Emma’s ring and her counterattack on his past reflect clashing values—hers rooted in fairness, his in pride. MIL’s defense of Chris over her son suggests misplaced priorities, risking deeper family rifts.

Emma’s ban on Chris is a boundary to protect her peace, but it’s a bold move that could alienate her MIL further. Dr. Heitler advises, “Clear communication and de-escalation can prevent conflicts from spiraling.” Emma could apologize to Chris’s ex for involving her, clarifying her intent, and discuss with her fiancé how to handle MIL’s ultimatum. Legal consultation is wise to counter Chris’s threat, ensuring Emma’s actions stay above board. By focusing on unity with her fiancé, Emma can navigate this storm without losing family ties.

See what others had to share with OP:

The Reddit crowd jumped in with pitchforks and popcorn, dishing out takes as bold as Emma’s clapback. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the community:

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EverythingsStupid321 − NTA I would send Chris a letter in terms that he, as a lawyer, can understand. Explain to him that since he has voiced a condition unto which he would proceed with a civil suit it would only be responsible of you to take action to limit your exposure to triggering that suit. This is simply a liability limiting action, and that there is no loss on his behalf due to there being no entitlement to the general public of attendance to this private event.

dheffe01 − NTA, because I would be damned if I would have anything to do with Chris after his insults and threat. You should however seek legal advice on the defamation in case he turns out to be a bigger arsehole than he already appears to be..

Keep copies of the message from Chris. Apologise to Chris Ex and explain yourself. You and your fiance need to be on the same page thou, especially if you have kids, and don't want Chris/Your MIL around you. Your fiance needs to talk with his mum about insulting the ring.

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Direct-Plum-3558 − It's not defamation if the statement is true.

daibz − NTA he f**ked around and told on himself how he can dish it out but will act like a baby when given it back. seems like you gave everyone else the confidence to remove chris from their lives

Sad_Entertainer6312 − ESH.. You need to learn how to desescalate vs escalate situations.

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sandra_445576 − How can he sue for defamation if what you said was true about the child support? He's just upset because you called him out in front of other people after he was snarkey and rude to you. You can't be the a**hole for telling the truth. NTA. Clearly his ex wife does want child support if she complained about it.

And whether she wants it now or not he has to pay it or he can go to prison. That's the law with the courts and that's on him. It annoys me when parents say they don't want anything from the parent that got stuck with child support, because it's not for the parents. It's for the child. Even if she didn't want to spend the child support she could have put the money away for college for the child.

Savings-Breath-9118 − FYI unless Chris signed away parental rights, the ex can’t sign those rights to child support away.

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BigBayesian − ESH. You were cruel and presumptuous to suggest that Chris was a deadbeat without knowing the whole story.. Chris is obviously a jerk hundreds of times over.. Your future MIL is a jerk for insisting you expose yourself to legal risk at your wedding.. I don't know who GFIL is.. Your poor partner is the only innocent here.. ESH. But yeah, Chris is obviously terrible and losing him is a good idea.

No_Hippo_1472 − I’m gonna say ESH. You responded to his very obviously AH comments. But you brought up issues that had absolutely nothing to do with you, and clearly something you did not know all the details of. If you’re going to insult someone, at least know the details about the dirt you’re using.

Otherwise it can backfire—as it did here. I think you and your fiancé should discuss whether this is the hill to die on and go LC or NC. Otherwise, YWBTA if your fiancé isn’t ready to cut contact and you insist over something you ultimately caused.

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Late_Engineering9973 − NTA but lab grown diamonds *are* 'real' diamonds.

These Redditors served up a mix of cheers for Emma’s spine and shade for Chris’s antics. Some urged legal prep, others called her escalation a misstep. But do their spicy opinions capture the full picture, or are they just tossing gas on the family fire?

Emma’s clash with Chris is a tangled mess of pride, truth, and family loyalty. Calling out his past was a risky move, but his lawsuit threat and MIL’s ultimatum pushed her to draw a hard line. With the family split and wedding plans in turmoil, Emma’s fighting for her peace. What would you do if a family member’s partner threatened you like this? Share your thoughts below and let’s dive into this engagement drama!

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