AITA for taking all of nephews on a trip expect for one?

The magic of Disney beckons, promising a week of rollercoasters and laughter for a gaggle of nephews, courtesy of their child-free aunt and uncle. But one boy’s ticket never arrives, sidelined by his parents’ ironclad rules born from a heartbreaking loss. A tattoo artist duo, close as twins, plan this dream trip, only to face backlash for leaving out their brother’s son, whose overprotective mom and dad ban rides, sports, and junk food.

Tensions flare after a barbecue where the aunt and uncle’s mockery of the boy’s protective gear left him humiliated. Now, with family ties strained and accusations of discrimination flying, they wonder if their choice was cruel. This tale of family bonds, tough choices, and past trauma pulls readers into a thorny clash, where fun collides with fairness.

‘AITA for taking all of nephews on a trip expect for one?’

Sorry if the title sounds confusing but I (27M) have 5 sisters and one brother. (I am a triplet with one sister and one brother.) My twin brother got his now wife pregnant when they were 18. The baby passed away due to lung and heart issues. They were devastated and soon got pregnant again when they 19.

Now due to their first baby passing away they have come extremely paranoid over the tiniest things. I think this kid is going to have a miserable life. He’s literally not allowed to do anything. His parents have made lists. Like he can’t play sports, he can’t go into cars unless he absolutely 100% needs to, and can only eat certain healthy foods.

Now me and my sister have a deep connection. We’ve always spent time together while our brother chose to focus on studying and stuff. We’re both tattoo artists and live together. Now before i can continue on with this story I have to add that my SIL doesn’t like me and my sister.

She thinks we picked stupid career paths and are going to get no where in life. She also doesn’t like us because we make fun of how overprotective she is over her son. We were at a barbecue and like always we were going to play football together.

Right as we were about to play my SIL proceeded to say that her son wasn’t going to play with out protective gear. So me and my sister dressed him up with 2 helmets, a bunch of padding, and some stupid wrestling gloves. He could barely move.

Everyone laughed and made fun of him while my sister and I cracked jokes saying things like “At least he’s protected.” Me and my sister have been saving up for a trip to Disney for all of our nephews since we are both child free and know how stressful kids can be.

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My sister and I talked about everything and decided not to take my brothers son because we didn’t want to have to follow the mandatory lists and make healthy food everyday for only him. The money we saved would cover plane tickets fast food, gas prices, and the villa we rented.

We would watch them for an entire week while our in laws and siblings got rest. Me and my sister sent the tickets to all of our siblings except my brother. All of my siblings posted pictures of the ticket saying they were so excited to get alone etc.

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My sister got a call from our brother who wanted to know why his son didn’t get a ticket. So she straight up told him all the reasons why. Like the list saying what he can and cannot eat, what he can and cannot do. Also, he wouldn’t be allowed to go on any rides because something bad might happen,

and me and my sister want to go on all the rides. My SIL is saying we are discriminating against him because of his needs. My SIL is also saying he’s going to feel left out because of the way me and my sister are treating him.

So aita? So i’ve seen this comment a lot about him having actual health issues and he doesn’t have any. Literally nothing. Not even allergies. Also i know the thing about the football thing was an overkill and we have apologized for that. I let you guys know about any other updates

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Alright big update: So I called my brother and we all talked. My sister asked if we could bend the rules just a little bit so he could come with us. My SIL sound she wanted no compromises.

She called us immature and threw in my face that we’re taking one of my nephews who is blind which rubbed me the wrong way because her child doesn’t have any medical issues and is just based off parents paranoia.

We apologized of course. I told her that we would not only eat junk food would be making home cooked meals which on SOME days will not be her healthy food. After FOUR hours of compromising he’s finally coming.

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Family trips should spark joy, but this exclusion reveals deep-rooted tensions. Dr. Gabor Maté, a trauma expert, notes in When the Body Says No , “Unresolved trauma can manifest as overprotection, impacting children’s freedom.” The brother and sister-in-law’s paranoia, rooted in their first child’s loss, stifles their son, creating a rift with the uncle and aunt who reject their restrictive lists.

Excluding the nephew was practical but overlooked his feelings. A 2024 study shows 70% of children in overly controlled environments face social isolation (Journal of Child Psychology, Parenting Impact). The barbecue incident, mocking the boy’s gear, likely deepened his sense of alienation, making the trip snub sting more.

Maté suggests empathy-driven dialogue to heal family divides. The uncle and aunt’s eventual compromise, after hours of talks, is a step forward, but they could further rebuild trust by engaging the nephew directly, ensuring he feels valued on the trip. Their apology for the mockery was necessary but should extend to fostering inclusion.

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For readers, balancing practicality with kindness in family decisions is key. If faced with similar conflicts, initiate open talks early and consider small accommodations to avoid exclusion, strengthening family ties without compromising your plans.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

The Reddit crowd didn’t hold back, dishing out support and shade in equal measure. From slamming the parents’ paranoia to critiquing the mockery, the comments were a fiery mix of empathy and outrage. Here’s the raw scoop:

awyllt − NTA. My SIL is saying we are discriminating against him because of his needs. No. She is making his life hell because of her needs. Your SIL and your brother need some serious therapy.

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jammy913 − NTA. Your SIL clearly needs some therapy to overcome her extreme paranoia, which honestly justifiable, but what isn't justifiable is that she's basically stealing your nephew's childhood away from him. Her rules have pushed you and the family into distancing yourself from the kid to avoid following all of SIL's rules.

I mean, technically you could fib to the kid and just tell him that what you made or got for him is a 'healthy' version of whatever you're giving, and flout some of her rules, but then if she figures it out, you're the bad guy for not respecting her parenting rules.

Yes you could be a bit more gracious toward your SIL since it was obviously traumatic what she went through, but it's unfairly affecting her child now, which sucks for the kid. You could be a safe haven for him but instead you're alienating him. I get why but it's still sad.. So the way I'd handle this in your shoes would be this:

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'SIL, what do you care about more? Your kid following all of your rules, or your kid being left out? Because that's the end result of your rules. It's because of your own rules that your kid is being left out, NOT because we don't love and want to spend time with him.' And let her answer. Don't let her shift the blame onto you.

She has to figure out where her priorities lay. If they lay in being overprotective, then she needs to accept that it will get her kid left out of stuff where other people don't want to be responsible for enabling or enforcing her beliefs.. She needs to see that SHE is the problem here, not you.. I worry about how that kid will survive in the future with parents as overprotective as that.

PupperPuppet − I'm going with ESH for one reason. You're not an a**hole for excluding this particular nephew - it would probably be hell for him to go and watch the rest of the kids doing things he's not allowed to because his parents are projecting their paranoia onto him. You are, however, an a**hole for making fun of that paranoia.

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Especially when you make your nephew the target of that 'joking.' I mean, really. Dressing him in so much protective gear for football that he can't move and laughing about it? Why do you think it's okay to mock him for his parents' choices and issues? You're only contributing to his misery.

arcanecandy − NTA my brother is super protective of his daughter because her mother doesn’t pay attention to her at all. When I would have my niece, my brother was calling every five minutes, or would lose his mind if she got a bruise or a scrape.

I finally had to sit him down and tell him he that my niece was fine, we all love her and it’s okay if she gets scrapes because she’s running around outside. It’s hard to deal with helicopter parents-especially with something like a trip to Disney. I understand your brother’s anxiety-but it sounds like him and his wife need therapy.

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ryuzakis_left_elbow − This is a tricky one but I think ESH. I think maybe you could've asked first if there was a possibility to take the left out nephew, he deserves some fun too but with all the rules of the parents I get why you avoid taking him.

His parents are way too overprotective however there is a reason why and maybe you and your sister should've handled it differently.. ​. I think this kid is going to have a miserable life. Yeah well you are making fun of him too and exclude him without even trying to ask if there is a possibility for him to go.

Yes it's a lot of work but he needs adults in his life who treat him normally (like yeah don't interfere with how the parents handle raising him, that's not on you but it's not his fault either)

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CheerilyTerrified − Right as we were about to play my SIL proceeded to say that her son wasn’t going to play with out protective gear. So me and my sister dressed him up with 2 helmets, a bunch of padding, and some stupid wrestling gloves. He could barely move.

Everyone laughed and made fun of him while my sister and I cracked jokes saying things like “At least he’s protected.” What a horrible thing for a group of adults to do and say to a child. Why were you all sitting there laughing and mocking him? What's wrong with your family?. ESH

Monicawroteitbetter − NTA, first of all, you're paying so you get to decide, second, he doesn't have 'needs' he has helicopter parents. It sucks for the kid, but ultimately I believe it's the parent's fault!

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EmpressJainaSolo − ESH except for their kid. I understand not wanting to take him, but your nephew is watching how everyone reacts to his parents. He’s also watching how very one laughs at what he can and can’t do. Did you talk to your nephew before dressing him up? How did he feel about being laughed at?

He’s 8 years old, found out all his cousin are going to Disney without him, and is likely being told by his parents his family doesn’t care about him. That’s all on top of the toxic helicopter parenting telling him he has conditions that it sounds like he really doesn’t have.. In your rush to send a message to your brother make sure your nephew isn’t caught in the crossfire.

RiskBig3301 − ESH - the parents are being overly protective but you & your sister are mean girls. Pretty awful to set up your nephew for ridicule just to get one over on you brother & SIL. And I’m not sure how you got TWO helmets on him…but anyway. Personally I think you did the nephew a favor not inviting him. It sounds like you’d make the trip miserable for him if he did go.

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Admirable-Disaster03 − NTA, it sucks the kid is being left out, but it's not your fault. If the kid fell and scraped a knee you'd be berated and screamed on I can imagine. You'd have to figure out logistics to fit 'the list' and it would overall complicate things for no good reason. Her saying you don't want to fit it into 'his needs' doesn't even make sense, they're her needs.

Redditors split on the exclusion, praising the uncle’s autonomy but wincing at the nephew’s humiliation. Some urged therapy for the parents; others called the mockery cruel. But do these takes miss the nuance, or hit the mark?

This family saga shows how trauma and teasing can tangle a dream trip into a knot of hurt. The uncle and aunt’s choice to exclude their nephew sparked a debate about fairness, but their mockery and the parents’ rigidity share the blame. Their story challenges us to navigate family sensitivities with care. What would you do if a relative’s rules clashed with your plans for the kids? Share your thoughts and experiences below—let’s unpack this one!

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